In a very bad and scary situation, asking 4 prayer and advice if possible.

May 17, 2008

Hi everyone big hugs to u all. Sorry I havn't been around much but I

nedd advice and prayer cuz i'm not sure what to do.Some of u know some

of this already ,people who have been in the group 4 a while.

It's pretty complicated but it boils down to my boyfriend of 7

years(wicth has been a very toxic relationship )2 Mondays ago they

found a large mass in his lung ,maybe 3 making it apear as just one

18mm lg . He has emphazema and he's been in great pain. He refused to

go to a doctor 4 years till it got this bad . Now it might be to late.

Night sweats, can't breath. He also has a cyst or something on his liver.

Per his decession they have decided to take the nodule out of his lung

this Thursday.. his lymph nodes r affected and he's positive e 4 hep

c. I was very ill before now (it's all in my Blogs),I'm fine I'm

driving, skating,even working at my friends tattoo shop., but as a

favor ,not getting paid yet.I can't loose my disability or I'm screwed

free medical and meds.Medicare Low income. Seth, my boyfriend has been

living to paycheck to paycheck to pay rent and feed us. He's probably

going to have to stop working he's in to much pain and is too sick. In

his current state, not that he wasn't before,has become extremely

abusive though I know alot of it comes from fear and the hep c. the

possible cancer might be messing with his mind as well but 2 night ago

he kicked my dog out of the way she fell against a table and

everything fell on top of her. I was at work. She is an abused rescue

,11 years old and a cancer surviver of 3 years now.When I got home she

couldn't see straight, she couldn't hold herself up ,her legs would go

out from under her.She had a panic attack he said and possibly a

stoke. He said he saw red and couldn't control it from work and the

people not taking him seriously or caring. .All my animals r terrified

but my sweet Luna is gone right now.She just not the same I took her

to the vet the next morning. took x-rays and said shes in pain and

completely tramatised .It's hard to forgive him she is my child and my

familiar,but he needs me now as much as I 'd like to leave I have no

where to go and he took care of me after my spinal fusion.I am in

depted while everything is crashing down around me. This is the

scariest feeling ever cuz I'm feeling helpless.

Thank u

and much Love to all my brothers and sisters in light.

Laurie

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