Re: Venting!!!

[Guest guest]

awww . I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I have no advise

but just a (((HUG))) gently and I can understand to a degree as my ex-husband

did some of those things the last year before we sepated and divorced. Hang in

there girl. Know that we love you just the way you are.

Christi Randall

www.singingwomenoftexas.com

Venting!!!

It is Saturday and just as it always does the day after my husband's

paycheck is in the bank, he has ALL of these errands HE JUST HAS TO

run. I will admit, we talk about some of them the night before, but

at this point I am getting more and more hurt feelings. He will get

up, take his shower, get dressed and then tell me ALL of the long

list of places he is going, ask if I want anything and then leave.

Now my problem is that I almost never have had much if any sleep the

night before and when I hear him in the shower and drag myself out of

bed, I hurt all over. And that seems to be when the pain is at it's

highest level. Another thing about these Saturdays is that I do wish

he would take his cell phone so that should I need to, I could call

him!!!

But, also, if he DIDN'T have to GO so soon after getting up and would

wait at least an hour, he might find out, just as I am now, that I

could get my shower, dressed and go with him!!!

But I guess I have also realized that there is nothing stopping me

from taking the shower, getting dressed and leaving for 5 or 6

hours. And I could do nothing but run to one or two stores and then

find a place to park and wait to see when he comes home, spent

another thirty minutes doing some of my own " errands " and see what he

thinks when he can't reach me.

I feel as if I am a baby sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but

this is a pattern that he has done since I guit working and it is

beginning to hurt my feelings more and more --- I think this is the

first time I have actually even put it in words and I know it is the

first time I have cried so hard!!!

Sorry for that, but it seems so unfair ==== and especially when he

COULD NOT AFFORD TO DO ALL HE DOES IF I DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY I

INHERITED FROM MY FAMILY, NOR COULD HE HAVE CHANGED JOBS SO OFTEN SO

HE COULD MOVE UP HAD I NOT HAD A DIVORCE SETTLEMENT WHEN WE GOT

MARRIED.

I just feel as if he has no consideration for how I feel!!!

Sorry, for this but I had to get it out.

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as

to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr.

Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to

certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be

afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation

better.

3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is:

Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe

4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling bad at the

same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially take something

another member says the wrong way. And that includes the things that one member

may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal

with illness whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

of humor.

5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad day pls let

us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

,

I don't really understand why this is upsetting (that's just because

I've been single for 9 years lol) but anyway, have you thought about

possibly solving the problem by telling him that you would like to go

with him on his saturday errands and then just get up an hour or so

earlier than he does so that you have that extra time to get up and get

moving and ready before he gets up and gets dressed and out of the

house? You would be ready to go and actually able to just rest and wait

on him until you are both ready to leave the house.

lisa n.

[Guest guest]

>

> awww . I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I have

no advise but just a (((HUG))) gently and I can understand to a

degree as my ex-husband did some of those things the last year before

we sepated and divorced. Hang in there girl. Know that we love you

just the way you are.

>

> Christi Randall

> www.singingwomenoftexas.com

>

>

> Thank you, he's home now but I am only make small answers to his

questions and then I am off to bed. I guess I have to sit down (HA!

how do you get their full attention???) and tell him how he effects

me with these " little trips " . I got some donuts out of the trip and

1 package cigarettes so I can put a few nails in my coffin. I should

see how much my will says he gets in case I precede him in death!

It's like last night when I said something about did his family, i.e,

his mother & his sisters realize that he would not be where he is

professionally with out me???? Or who pays for their Christmas,

birtday presents, etc, Strange, I screwed my self when we got married

years ago, I had him add all of my professional memberships in fields

related to his job when he wrote resumes, I coached in the correct

phrases when he was appling for a job that was related to a field my

previous husband of 13 years had been in --- without my coaching, he

might never have got the job. And now I am using my inheritance to

pay 1/2 the cost of house we are buying. He had the nerve to say

something about how much is in his retirement fund --- actally his

pension, but if he controlled what he invested it in, he would lose

money just as he lost hafe of monies he had to take out of

aretirement fund in the first quarter!!!

I guess part of it is I know more about finances than he does and HE

CAN'T even READ a bank statement!!! the man is 64 years old; I

wonder what he would do on his own!

>

>

>

> Venting!!!

>

> It is Saturday and just as it always does the day after my

husband's

> paycheck is in the bank, he has ALL of these errands HE JUST HAS TO

> run. I will admit, we talk about some of them the night before,

but

> at this point I am getting more and more hurt feelings. He will

get

> up, take his shower, get dressed and then tell me ALL of the long

> list of places he is going, ask if I want anything and then leave.

> Now my problem is that I almost never have had much if any sleep

the

> night before and when I hear him in the shower and drag myself out

of

> bed, I hurt all over. And that seems to be when the pain is at

it's

> highest level. Another thing about these Saturdays is that I do

wish

> he would take his cell phone so that should I need to, I could call

> him!!!

> But, also, if he DIDN'T have to GO so soon after getting up and

would

> wait at least an hour, he might find out, just as I am now, that I

> could get my shower, dressed and go with him!!!

> But I guess I have also realized that there is nothing stopping me

> from taking the shower, getting dressed and leaving for 5 or 6

> hours. And I could do nothing but run to one or two stores and

then

> find a place to park and wait to see when he comes home, spent

> another thirty minutes doing some of my own " errands " and see what

he

> thinks when he can't reach me.

> I feel as if I am a baby sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but

> this is a pattern that he has done since I guit working and it is

> beginning to hurt my feelings more and more --- I think this is the

> first time I have actually even put it in words and I know it is

the

> first time I have cried so hard!!!

> Sorry for that, but it seems so unfair ==== and especially when he

> COULD NOT AFFORD TO DO ALL HE DOES IF I DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY I

> INHERITED FROM MY FAMILY, NOR COULD HE HAVE CHANGED JOBS SO OFTEN

SO

> HE COULD MOVE UP HAD I NOT HAD A DIVORCE SETTLEMENT WHEN WE GOT

> MARRIED.

> I just feel as if he has no consideration for how I feel!!!

> Sorry, for this but I had to get it out.

>

>

>

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on

the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always

check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along

with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just

dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is)

pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying

to make that situation better.

>

> 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-

unsubscribe

>

> 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling

bad at the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that

potentially take something another member says the wrong way. And

that includes the things that one member may find funny (even if it's

laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal with illness

whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

of humor.

>

> 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad

day pls let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> ,

>

> I don't really understand why this is upsetting (that's just

because

> I've been single for 9 years lol) but anyway, have you thought

about

> possibly solving the problem by telling him that you would like to

go

> with him on his saturday errands and then just get up an hour or so

> earlier than he does so that you have that extra time to get up and

get

> moving and ready before he gets up and gets dressed and out of the

> house? You would be ready to go and actually able to just rest and

wait

> on him until you are both ready to leave the house.

>

> lisa n.

>

Perhaps, I did NOT explain myself very well --- because I seldom

sleep when most people do, there is no way I can get up before he

does. I am often still awake at 6am and afternoons work so much

better for me!

[Guest guest]

I understand why this is upsetting, because my DH does the exact same thing

to me, he has done this for the last 5 years, since I started to need more

time to get up and move around. He does not even tell me what he is planning to

do, he just makes plans and does whatever he wants. We have had many fights

about this for the last 2-3 years, I have been contemplating divorcing him for

over a year. It feels like I am just here to take care of the house, kids,

bills, laundry and that he has a secret second life that he enjoys without

us...I understand your pain. I don't know what to do about it, that is what is

upsetting to me. This is what I fear will cause our marriage to end, and he

will use my illnesses as the reason.

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