Re: vent about hubby again~GRRR

[Guest guest]

,

The next time he threatens you with divorce pack up his suitcase and set it by

the door. You and your daughter do not have to take that kind of abuse. He

would not hurt you in anyway would he I mean physically?

You and your daughter deserve better.

Lori H

Moderator

wrote:

Hubby was back to his old tricks again last night. has not spoken more

than " 2 word sentences " to me in days. All because Paypal took money out of his

bank account to satisfy a negative balance due. You see a few months back he

decided to get my paypal account closed, by telling them I did not have

permission to use his debit card , which was untrue, so the account was closed.

When he closed it, it left a negative balance and they have been after it ever

since. He said that it was not his responsibility to pay it, so they just took

it. well he decided when he saw they money gone from the bank account that I had

made a purchase of some sort. {I wrote him a note explaining what happened} but

he still blames me for the money gone. He started this mess by closing my

account and leaving it with the negative balance. I use paypal for online

purchases. Mostly herbs and vitamins for my fibro. I am allowed so much per

payday. This charge added to what I already spent this

payday.

well anyhow, he yelled at me in front of Mel, called me names, would not listen

to reason or any explaination. Cut me off from looking at the bank account, cut

off the debit card I use and now I have to ask for money when I need something

and I will recieve cash only. It is bad enough he closed our joint account last

year and I have had to use his debit card since, but now he has gone too far. He

also took out a 200$ withdrawal of cash out of this paycheck for something not

to do with bills or necessity, but that is ok. this is all about control, abuse

and his anger issues. I am the easy target. But having a conversation of finger

pointing , name calling and threats of divorce, etc are non-productive. he is a

" right-fighter " ,so I have no chance of winning even if I am right. This time it

left me in tears, shaking and miserable. Oh and he also told me that my job is

the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care, etc because I owe it to him because he

supports the house with

money. I already do this as much as I can, but with fibro I have my bad days

too. TG is here to help me. She is an awesome daughter. Oh then he tell

me How great of a hubby he is because he does this. yes it is awesome that he

support us with money, but the rest of his bs is too much to deal with. wonders

why he gets no cooperation on our part. Gee I wonder. We receive no love,

kindness, friendship, compassion etc from him. what does he expect? Then he

started in about not having intimate contact in years. Who would want to? He

sleeps in the recliner at night, not in bed. Oh and as far as my health issues

go, I was told that he could care less about it. I am so over this crap. I

really am. It is affecting 's health and well being as well as my own. I

will never beat this flare with this going on here. I need help. Please pray for

us, if you believe in prayer. We need all we can get. Tysm for listening and as

always feel free to make any suggestions you may

have.

Hugs,

One of God's arrangements is that after winter there should come beautiful

spring days. It happens every year and it happens in every life.

Father ph (Submitted by LotusSong)

[Guest guest]

, this breaks my heart. I wish I had an easy answer for what you need to

do. You need to get out. But I understand that with FM it is not as easy said

as done. I hope you can see a way out someday soon. I won't knock you for

putting up with it, it is not your fault. We are so limited with this damn

disease that sometimes we get taken as prisoners. Honey, my heart is with you.

Write me personally anytime please. ladybug75901@...

love,

Debra V.

wrote:

Hubby was back to his old tricks again last night. has not spoken more

than " 2 word sentences " to me in days. All because Paypal took money out of his

bank account to satisfy a negative balance due. You see a few months back he

decided to get my paypal account closed, by telling them I did not have

permission to use his debit card , which was untrue, so the account was closed.

When he closed it, it left a negative balance and they have been after it ever

since. He said that it was not his responsibility to pay it, so they just took

it. well he decided when he saw they money gone from the bank account that I had

made a purchase of some sort. {I wrote him a note explaining what happened} but

he still blames me for the money gone. He started this mess by closing my

account and leaving it with the negative balance. I use paypal for online

purchases. Mostly herbs and vitamins for my fibro. I am allowed so much per

payday. This charge added to what I already spent this

payday.

well anyhow, he yelled at me in front of Mel, called me names, would not listen

to reason or any explaination. Cut me off from looking at the bank account, cut

off the debit card I use and now I have to ask for money when I need something

and I will recieve cash only. It is bad enough he closed our joint account last

year and I have had to use his debit card since, but now he has gone too far. He

also took out a 200$ withdrawal of cash out of this paycheck for something not

to do with bills or necessity, but that is ok. this is all about control, abuse

and his anger issues. I am the easy target. But having a conversation of finger

pointing , name calling and threats of divorce, etc are non-productive. he is a

" right-fighter " ,so I have no chance of winning even if I am right. This time it

left me in tears, shaking and miserable. Oh and he also told me that my job is

the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care, etc because I owe it to him because he

supports the house with

money. I already do this as much as I can, but with fibro I have my bad days

too. TG is here to help me. She is an awesome daughter. Oh then he tell

me How great of a hubby he is because he does this. yes it is awesome that he

support us with money, but the rest of his bs is too much to deal with. wonders

why he gets no cooperation on our part. Gee I wonder. We receive no love,

kindness, friendship, compassion etc from him. what does he expect? Then he

started in about not having intimate contact in years. Who would want to? He

sleeps in the recliner at night, not in bed. Oh and as far as my health issues

go, I was told that he could care less about it. I am so over this crap. I

really am. It is affecting 's health and well being as well as my own. I

will never beat this flare with this going on here. I need help. Please pray for

us, if you believe in prayer. We need all we can get. Tysm for listening and as

always feel free to make any suggestions you may

have.

Hugs,

One of God's arrangements is that after winter there should come beautiful

spring days. It happens every year and it happens in every life.

Father ph (Submitted by LotusSong)

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

I know that I'm new here, but I just had to respond to your post.

I was right were you are 14 yrs ago,except mine was verbal and

physical abuse. I had a 6 yr old son and a 23 month old daughter,but

I finally had had enough and kicked him out.I went through all

the " you'll never see the kids again " , " I'll be watching you

everywhere you go " ,and " If you leave,I'll beat the crap out of you "

that I could take. It just came to a point that I didn't care what he

did, I just couldn't live like that anymore. And you know what? He

NEVER did do anything to me or the kids! Actually, he pretty much

didn't have anything to do with any of us, and that was better than

all the verbal and physical abuse.

To me,verbal abuse is a lot more painful than anything someone

can do to me physically. I can heal physically,but I'm STILL dealing

with the way he treated me verbally - even after all this time.

That's why I've never remarried,because of trust issues. But I've

found that it's a lot better to be by yourself than to be with the

WRONG one! I don't know how true this is,but I've heard that Post

Traumatic Stress Disorder has been linked to Fibro. I know that it

was about 6 months after I'd had my daughter and a total (dating and

married to) of 12 years of dealing with him that I was beginning to

be diagnoised with Fibro and Chronic Fatigue. For me, Stress is one

of the biggest things that throws me into a flare up.

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. I know how hard

it is. If you would like to talk, feel free to email me anytime.

I'll be sending Hugs and Prayers your way...

Take Care ~ Ginger

>

> Hubby was back to his old tricks again last night. has not spoken

more than " 2 word sentences " to me in days. All because Paypal took

money out of his bank account to satisfy a negative balance due. You

see a few months back he decided to get my paypal account closed, by

telling them I did not have permission to use his debit card , which

was untrue, so the account was closed. When he closed it, it left a

negative balance and they have been after it ever since. He said that

it was not his responsibility to pay it, so they just took it. well

he decided when he saw they money gone from the bank account that I

had made a purchase of some sort. {I wrote him a note explaining what

happened} but he still blames me for the money gone. He started this

mess by closing my account and leaving it with the negative balance.

I use paypal for online purchases. Mostly herbs and vitamins for my

fibro. I am allowed so much per payday. This charge added to what I

already spent this payday.

> well anyhow, he yelled at me in front of Mel, called me names,

would not listen to reason or any explaination. Cut me off from

looking at the bank account, cut off the debit card I use and now I

have to ask for money when I need something and I will recieve cash

only. It is bad enough he closed our joint account last year and I

have had to use his debit card since, but now he has gone too far. He

also took out a 200$ withdrawal of cash out of this paycheck for

something not to do with bills or necessity, but that is ok. this is

all about control, abuse and his anger issues. I am the easy target.

But having a conversation of finger pointing , name calling and

threats of divorce, etc are non-productive. he is a " right-

fighter " ,so I have no chance of winning even if I am right. This time

it left me in tears, shaking and miserable. Oh and he also told me

that my job is the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care, etc because

I owe it to him because he supports the house with

> money. I already do this as much as I can, but with fibro I have

my bad days too. TG is here to help me. She is an awesome

daughter. Oh then he tell me How great of a hubby he is because he

does this. yes it is awesome that he support us with money, but the

rest of his bs is too much to deal with. wonders why he gets no

cooperation on our part. Gee I wonder. We receive no love, kindness,

friendship, compassion etc from him. what does he expect? Then he

started in about not having intimate contact in years. Who would want

to? He sleeps in the recliner at night, not in bed. Oh and as far as

my health issues go, I was told that he could care less about it. I

am so over this crap. I really am. It is affecting 's health

and well being as well as my own. I will never beat this flare with

this going on here. I need help. Please pray for us, if you believe

in prayer. We need all we can get. Tysm for listening and as always

feel free to make any suggestions you may

> have.

> Hugs,

>

>

> One of God's arrangements is that after winter there should come

beautiful spring days. It happens every year and it happens in every

life.

> Father ph (Submitted by LotusSong)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I totally understand and relate....that is why he is my EX now...I was where

you were.....afraid and because of health problems...felt like I needed to

kiss his _____ as he stated...no one else would put up with your illnesses..

..(I have ALOT of heart related problems...) in all actuallity...I was being

wheeled in the OR for my first Open Heart Surgery when hubby said....FOUND

SOMEONE ELSE...I AM SEEKING DIVORCE....right in front of all the nurses and

doctors....some gasped....some cursed him under their breaths...I was so

medicated...all I could do was nod.....after surgery....they were going to

put me on suicide watch because of what he did....but...I was so relieved

that all the verbal/physical abuse was over with and his alcoholism and his

anal retentive attitude that I was just smiling ....thinking about what I

was going to do next....please....if anything....get out...your daughter is

going to see him treating you that way....and going to think it is ok to be

treated that way too....and you wouldn't want that for your daughter.....I

am now married....been 5 yrs....and I wish I could have met him before my ex

....he has his moments....but then again....(don't all men...j/k)...not

really....anyways...if you (or anyone for that matter) ever want to talk..

give me a holler....I am disabled and I am a good listener.....

Please give me a holler....if you ever need it....

MSN: stevediggs@...

Yahoo: mamadigger0365

ICQ: 382690249

[Guest guest]

I'm fairly new here but I had a husband that was like your's. Thank god I

divorced him. I finally got on m feet and can somehow make it on my low monthly

income by living with m Aunt. It was so humiluating a situation with him that

I'd have rather lived in the streets than with him.

I realise that some are unable to make that choice so my heart goes out to you.

Is there any way you take take back some control?

Don't let him get you down, it's just want he wants.

Hope I didn't depree you further.

god bless

Little from Las Vegas

LINDA

---------------------------------

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

i would love to take control, but it seems easier to do what he wants sometimes,

to keep the peace. then I beat myself up and start taking the blame he puts out.

it weighs on me. I know I will have to divorce him as soon as I am able to

stand on my own 2 feet. i feel helpless not able to work or bring in any income.

I am dependent on him, and i really hate it. I am glad you were able to get out.

all my family is in WA state and I cannot move there for many reasons. #1 my

fibro. thank you for being there. It means so much.

wrote: I'm fairly new here but I had

a husband that was like your's. Thank god I divorced him. I finally got on m

feet and can somehow make it on my low monthly income by living with m Aunt. It

was so humiluating a situation with him that I'd have rather lived in the

streets than with him.

I realise that some are unable to make that choice so my heart goes out to you.

Is there any way you take take back some control?

Don't let him get you down, it's just want he wants.

Hope I didn't depree you further.

god bless

Little from Las Vegas

LINDA

---------------------------------

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

I think you need to be talking to someone about what your options

are. Neda

> Hubby was back to his old tricks again last night. has not spoken

> more than " 2 word sentences " to me in days. All because Paypal took

> money out of his bank account to satisfy a negative balance due.

> You see a few months back he decided to get my paypal account

> closed, by telling them I did not have permission to use his debit

> card , which was untrue, so the account was closed. When he closed

> it, it left a negative balance and they have been after it ever

> since. He said that it was not his responsibility to pay it, so

> they just took it. well he decided when he saw they money gone from

> the bank account that I had made a purchase of some sort. {I wrote

> him a note explaining what happened} but he still blames me for the

> money gone. He started this mess by closing my account and leaving

> it with the negative balance. I use paypal for online purchases.

> Mostly herbs and vitamins for my fibro. I am allowed so much per

> payday. This charge added to what I already spent this payday.

> well anyhow, he yelled at me in front of Mel, called me names,

> would not listen to reason or any explaination. Cut me off from

> looking at the bank account, cut off the debit card I use and now I

> have to ask for money when I need something and I will recieve cash

> only. It is bad enough he closed our joint account last year and I

> have had to use his debit card since, but now he has gone too far.

> He also took out a 200$ withdrawal of cash out of this paycheck for

> something not to do with bills or necessity, but that is ok. this

> is all about control, abuse and his anger issues. I am the easy

> target. But having a conversation of finger pointing , name calling

> and threats of divorce, etc are non-productive. he is a " right-

> fighter " ,so I have no chance of winning even if I am right. This

> time it left me in tears, shaking and miserable. Oh and he also

> told me that my job is the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care,

> etc because I owe it to him because he supports the house with

> money. I already do this as much as I can, but with fibro I have my

> bad days too. TG is here to help me. She is an awesome

> daughter. Oh then he tell me How great of a hubby he is because he

> does this. yes it is awesome that he support us with money, but the

> rest of his bs is too much to deal with. wonders why he gets no

> cooperation on our part. Gee I wonder. We receive no love,

> kindness, friendship, compassion etc from him. what does he expect?

> Then he started in about not having intimate contact in years. Who

> would want to? He sleeps in the recliner at night, not in bed. Oh

> and as far as my health issues go, I was told that he could care

> less about it. I am so over this crap. I really am. It is affecting

> 's health and well being as well as my own. I will never

> beat this flare with this going on here. I need help. Please pray

> for us, if you believe in prayer. We need all we can get. Tysm for

> listening and as always feel free to make any suggestions you may

> have.

> Hugs,

>

>

> One of God's arrangements is that after winter there should come

> beautiful spring days. It happens every year and it happens in

> every life.

> Father ph (Submitted by LotusSong)

>

>

[Guest guest]

Have you considered going to a womens shelter for help? He may not be

physically abusing you, but he is mentally and verbally abusing you. You know

what this does to you, think of your child. I was able to get out of a

mentally/verbally abusive marriage 18 yrs ago. Please consider at least calling

an abused women help line and see what they can do for you. They are there to

help you. They can help you form a plan to leave and can help with just about

everything you will need. I have been praying for you and will continue to do

so. Please do not let the fibro be the reason you do not get out. I would bet

that once you can make the transition some of the stress will decrease and some

of your fibro pains will decrease also. Godd luck.

Christi Randall

www.singingwomenoftexas.com

Re: vent about hubby again~GRRR

I think you need to be talking to someone about what your options

are. Neda

> Hubby was back to his old tricks again last night. has not spoken

> more than " 2 word sentences " to me in days. All because Paypal took

> money out of his bank account to satisfy a negative balance due.

> You see a few months back he decided to get my paypal account

> closed, by telling them I did not have permission to use his debit

> card , which was untrue, so the account was closed. When he closed

> it, it left a negative balance and they have been after it ever

> since. He said that it was not his responsibility to pay it, so

> they just took it. well he decided when he saw they money gone from

> the bank account that I had made a purchase of some sort. {I wrote

> him a note explaining what happened} but he still blames me for the

> money gone. He started this mess by closing my account and leaving

> it with the negative balance. I use paypal for online purchases.

> Mostly herbs and vitamins for my fibro. I am allowed so much per

> payday. This charge added to what I already spent this payday.

> well anyhow, he yelled at me in front of Mel, called me names,

> would not listen to reason or any explaination. Cut me off from

> looking at the bank account, cut off the debit card I use and now I

> have to ask for money when I need something and I will recieve cash

> only. It is bad enough he closed our joint account last year and I

> have had to use his debit card since, but now he has gone too far.

> He also took out a 200$ withdrawal of cash out of this paycheck for

> something not to do with bills or necessity, but that is ok. this

> is all about control, abuse and his anger issues. I am the easy

> target. But having a conversation of finger pointing , name calling

> and threats of divorce, etc are non-productive. he is a " right-

> fighter " ,so I have no chance of winning even if I am right. This

> time it left me in tears, shaking and miserable. Oh and he also

> told me that my job is the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care,

> etc because I owe it to him because he supports the house with

> money. I already do this as much as I can, but with fibro I have my

> bad days too. TG is here to help me. She is an awesome

> daughter. Oh then he tell me How great of a hubby he is because he

> does this. yes it is awesome that he support us with money, but the

> rest of his bs is too much to deal with. wonders why he gets no

> cooperation on our part. Gee I wonder. We receive no love,

> kindness, friendship, compassion etc from him. what does he expect?

> Then he started in about not having intimate contact in years. Who

> would want to? He sleeps in the recliner at night, not in bed. Oh

> and as far as my health issues go, I was told that he could care

> less about it. I am so over this crap. I really am. It is affecting

> 's health and well being as well as my own. I will never

> beat this flare with this going on here. I need help. Please pray

> for us, if you believe in prayer. We need all we can get. Tysm for

> listening and as always feel free to make any suggestions you may

> have.

> Hugs,

>

>

> One of God's arrangements is that after winter there should come

> beautiful spring days. It happens every year and it happens in

> every life.

> Father ph (Submitted by LotusSong)

>

>