Carlin On Aging

[Guest guest]

Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when

we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that

you think in fractions.

" How old are you? " " I'm four and a half! " You're never thirty-six and a half.

You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next

number, or even a few ahead.

" How old are you? " " I'm gonna be16! " You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be

16! And then the greatest day of your life .. . Youbecome 21. Even the words

sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad

milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a

sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes,

it's all slipping away. Before you know it, youREACH 50 and your dreams are

gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30,PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day

thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you

TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start

going backwards; " I Was JUST92. "

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid

again. " I'm 100 and a half! "

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the

doctors worry about them. That is why you pay " them. "

2. Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.

Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop. " And the

devil'sname is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with

us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes,

music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve

it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to

a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,butby the moments that

take our breath away.