Re: Out of commission for a few days

[Guest guest]

Michele- I am so sorry to hear that you got so sick! I'm glad you're

feeling better though. What is this about your MIL calling you a bad wife

and mother? Sounds crappy and inaccurate just from the little I know about

you! S

[Guest guest]

>From: Jsachieve@...

>

>Michele- I am so sorry to hear that you got so sick! I'm glad you're

>feeling better though. What is this about your MIL calling you a bad wife

>and mother? Sounds crappy and inaccurate just from the little I know about

>you! S

LOL well, it was a big thing back in August, before I even joined this list.

DH and I were living with her for a year but after she said that we moved

out and we are much happier now :-) She is " angry " about this pregnancy,

doesn't think we should have more than two, this from a woman who had eight.

Dh and I always planned on more than two and never made a secret out of it

so I don't know why she was so surprised and pissed off when it happened

lol. She never bf her kids so she doesn't understand any of this and she

thinks letting the kids sleep with us is " just plain wrong " . Part of what

happened is when we moved in a year ago she took over some of the parenting

stuff, like the cooking, and feeding the kids, I didn't say anything about

it, dh and I thought she was doing it because she wanted too, cooking and

feeding people makes her happy, she was even making dh's lunches for him and

special casseroles for Keely and freezing them in portions. Then a year

later she's saying I don't know how to feed my family....whatever, Keely has

gained 2 1/2 lbs since we moved out lol We have a lot of different views

about parenting things, she doesn't seem to get that dh and I made these

decisions together so by calling me a " bad mother " she was insulting him

too. Anyway, dh didn't take any of her crap, gave her a dirty look one day

when he was over visiting with Keely and she made a comment about him being

a better mother than me, she knows now that dh won't listen to her and he is

siding with me :-) so, that's why he thinks she's trying to make ammends,

so he isn't mad at her anymore, he's her " baby " . She is 67, so she's more

like a grandmother figure to me than a mother figure. My mom may not

understand some of the stuff we do (she couldn't bf us and we never slept

with them etc) but she asks questions and doesn't judge us. MIL and one of

dh's sister's (who is divorced with grown kids and living with her mom-it

was a big house) both seem to think that the medical community has learned

nothing in the past 20-30 years and since they gave their kids pablum at 1

month and diluted orange juice at 2 months that it must still be ok and are

insulted in a way that I'm not following their advice lol Oh, they also

think my kids will turn out badly because dh and I don't spank them, they

can't seem to step into the 90's and it's about over now lol

Michele, mom of Arran 12-27-93 & Keely 12-5-97 #3 EDD 3-13-00 It's a Boy!

ICQ# 13092478

Our Family Pages ~ http://www.telusplanet.net/public/jcrocker/index.html

[Guest guest]

Wow , that sounds complex! Neither my dh's family or mine agree with

anything that we're doing. His family hates me, but they would never say

because they hate " confrontation " . My family, on the other hand, will let

you know they're opinions even when you don't want them. No matter what I

do, I'll never be a good mother in either of their sights, but considering

that I think they're all nuts, being the opposite suits me just fine.

Like your dh's family, neither of ours thought we should've had a third

child let alone a fourth now. We decided that we're just going to let them

figure out for themselves that we're expecting, since it will be negative

anyway. S.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/1999 9:26:05 PM Eastern Standard Time,

mcrocker@... writes:

<< I did avoid being in the room when dh told her

though lol

>>

So what happen when he told them? I'm noisy!

<3,

Robin

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/1999 10:20:35 PM Eastern Standard Time,

mcrocker@... writes:

<< I avoid being anywhere near her lol It was about a month later that she

decided she needed to tell us what she thought of me as a wife and mother. >>

I know how you feel about staying away from M-I-L, I try to stay away from

mine as well, lol, but mine isn't so brave as to say something like that to

me, she'd be afraid she'd never get to see her ONLY grandchild/ren (dh is

their only living child). I'm sorry you have to put up with that stuff!

<3,

Robin

[Guest guest]

>From: Jsachieve@...

No matter what I

>do, I'll never be a good mother in either of their sights, but considering

>that I think they're all nuts, being the opposite suits me just fine.

LOL that's exactly what I feel about my in-laws!

> Like your dh's family, neither of ours thought we should've had a third

>child let alone a fourth now. We decided that we're just going to let them

>figure out for themselves that we're expecting, since it will be negative

>anyway. S.

I would have done that too with this one but we were living with her at the

time and it would have been impossible for her not to find out. Ever since

Keely was born we have heard constantly that anyone who has more than two

children is " an idiot " " a moron " " stupid " so we KNEW we wouldn't get a good

reaction to this pregnancy, I did avoid being in the room when dh told her

though lol

Michele

[Guest guest]

>From: sMommy@...

>So what happen when he told them? I'm noisy!

><3,

> Robin

She said " should I shoot myself now or later? " meaning she thought she

should kill herself because of the news. Needless to say I don't miss her

and I avoid being anywhere near her lol It was about a month later that she

decided she needed to tell us what she thought of me as a wife and mother.

Michele