Re: Pain Pain Pain.... need support

[Guest guest]

Save your breathe this is way more painful than cancer, get a new Dr you won't

convert this one.

Re: Pain Pain Pain.... need support

First of all YOUR doctor needs to get some grip with the fact that many of us

are in pain that is equal to the pain of cancer. Just because he cannot see it

on some damn test does not mean the pain is not excruciating. Just another

example of ingnorance.

I know how you feel about fearing you are a burden. But remember, your

husband does obviously love you and if I remember right there is something in

those vows that mentions " for better or for worse.... in sickness and in

health " ... he may be one of the few that take those vows to heart.

As for the suicide thing.... I see your point. But as I said before I really

don't think it is an answer.

Just know we are here for you.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

" carmen.niemi " wrote:

I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what

was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor

there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some

reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said,

people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

cancer etc.

In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and

a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him

too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I

just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

for him, though in different ways.

Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

say, " what is it now... "

I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic

pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But

I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel

like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about

wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

one seems to understand anymore.

I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

more than I could handle. Would he?

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

If you ever again find the doctor you saw in the ER, you could ask

him if he could recommend a doctor for you. I find that sympathetic

doctors often know of other ones. You do have to find one who will

help you, there's no two ways about that. His name should be on the

prescription bottle, so you might think about calling him, often even

ER docs have offices.

Have faith in your husband. He has made it clear that he loves you.

I'm sure he values your marriage and your family. I am certain there

are times he may feel overwhelmed, but only in the sense that he

wants to make it go away for you and is helpless to do so.

It might help if you print out a few good articles on FM, etc. and

give them to your friends, co-workers and family. Tell them this is

what you are dealing with on a daily basis. It is very hard for us to

try and explain it to them in our own words, we tend to get flustered

and lose our train of thought, partially due to our brain fog.

Remember, you are NOT a burden to your family. They love and need

you. I know that deep down, at least, you know this.

Please shop around for a new doctor. Interview them over the phone

first, at least ask relevant questions to the person who answers the

phone.

I hope you are able to find relief quickly. We all deserve a good

doctor who treats us with respect.

Peace and Love

Caroline

> I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what

> was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

> possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

> December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor

> there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me

some

> reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

> That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and

said,

> people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

> cancer etc.

> In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor,

and

> a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid

of

> losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for

him

> too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but

I

> still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know,

I

> just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

> for him, though in different ways.

> Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

> say, " what is it now... "

>

> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with

chronic

> pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all.

But

> I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I

feel

> like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about

> wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

> one seems to understand anymore.

>

> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

> being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>

> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

> can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

> more than I could handle. Would he?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Carmen - Your last paragraph said it all. There is some sort of reason

for you having to endure all this. You may never know for sure what that

reason is, but learning to live with it, and possibly overcome it are your

new goals in life.

I am glad you aren't suicidal. We all get frustrated and feel weighed

down by the pain and depression. I believe you need to switch from Effexor

to Cymbalta. It's obvious the Effexor isn't helping you anymore. Cymbalta

is similar in that it can give you energy, but it also has an added

component to help with the pain.

You need to shop for a doctor who will treat your pain with the needed

meds and treat you with respect. Fire the other guy's butt!!! I'm sure

cancer pain is the worst, but this guy obviously doesn't believe that anyone

else could be even close on the pain scale. What a jerk.

As for your family, instead of dwelling on all you cannot do for them

now, try to dwell on how much you love them and are glad to be with them.

Guilt is the worst thing for us, it just sinks us down further into the

black pit of depression. Tell your kids and husband every day that you love

them and feel so lucky to be blessed with them in your life. Like I told

another mom, if you can't attend their concert/ballgame/whatever, let them

know that you are cheering them on from the couch or bed or whatever. They

are so much better off with you, than without you.

I hope some of this hopes and I will pray for you to get some relief

from your pain and your depression.

Jeanne in WI

>I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what was

>coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought possible. My

>left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since December 22. That day

>my husband took me to the ER. The doctor there was kind and respectful to

>what was going on. He gave me some

reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me proper

medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. That was it. I

saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, people who take that

level of pain medication should be dying of cancer etc.

In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and a very

large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of losing my

handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him too. He has

found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I just

know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult for him,

though in different ways.

Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to say, " what is

it now... "

>

> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic pain

> was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But I

> understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel like I

> am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about wanting

to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no one seems to

understand anymore.

>

> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and being.

> I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>

> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I can't

> quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more than I

> could handle. Would he?

[Guest guest]

A great place to find something that makes others 'feel' and understand our pain

is on a web site I was lead to =)

www.butyoudontlooksick.com

Lynn

[Guest guest]

Looks as if the religious brigade is back again. I'm out!

Margaret B

> Hi Carmen - Your last paragraph said it all. There is some sort of

> reason

> for you having to endure all this. You may never know for sure

> what that

> reason is, but learning to live with it, and possibly overcome it

> are your

> new goals in life.

> I am glad you aren't suicidal. We all get frustrated and feel

> weighed

> down by the pain and depression. I believe you need to switch from

> Effexor

> to Cymbalta. It's obvious the Effexor isn't helping you anymore.

> Cymbalta

> is similar in that it can give you energy, but it also has an added

> component to help with the pain.

> You need to shop for a doctor who will treat your pain with the

> needed

> meds and treat you with respect. Fire the other guy's butt!!! I'm

> sure

> cancer pain is the worst, but this guy obviously doesn't believe

> that anyone

> else could be even close on the pain scale. What a jerk.

> As for your family, instead of dwelling on all you cannot do

> for them

> now, try to dwell on how much you love them and are glad to be with

> them.

> Guilt is the worst thing for us, it just sinks us down further into

> the

> black pit of depression. Tell your kids and husband every day that

> you love

> them and feel so lucky to be blessed with them in your life. Like

> I told

> another mom, if you can't attend their concert/ballgame/whatever,

> let them

> know that you are cheering them on from the couch or bed or

> whatever. They

> are so much better off with you, than without you.

> I hope some of this hopes and I will pray for you to get some

> relief

> from your pain and your depression.

> Jeanne in WI

>

>

>> I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for

>> what was

>> coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

>> possible. My

>> left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since December 22.

>> That day

>> my husband took me to the ER. The doctor there was kind and

>> respectful to

>> what was going on. He gave me some

> reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> proper

> medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. That

> was it. I

> saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, people who

> take that

> level of pain medication should be dying of cancer etc.

> In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor,

> and a very

> large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

> losing my

> handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him too.

> He has

> found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

> still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I

> know, I just

> know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult for him,

> though in different ways.

> Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to say,

> " what is

> it now... "

>>

>> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with

>> chronic pain

>> was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But I

>> understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I

>> feel like I

>> am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is

> about wanting

> to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no one

> seems to

> understand anymore.

>>

>> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

>> being.

>> I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>>

>> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

>> can't

>> quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more

>> than I

>> could handle. Would he?

>

>

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on

> the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always

> check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along

> with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just

> dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is)

> pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to

> trying to make that situation better.

>

> 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-

> unsubscribe

>

> 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling

> bad at the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that

> potentially take something another member says the wrong way. And

> that includes the things that one member may find funny (even if

> it's laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal with illness

> whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

> of humor.

>

> 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad

> day pls let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Margaret,

I think it's time you seriously thought about some therapy.

" the religious brigade it out " Come on you can't be serious,

Are you just deliberately misreading the posts because of your

own issues or are you just itchin for a fight. I hope G-d knocks

enough sense into you to learn to respect other people's

mention of the word " G-d " . Im not religious but if it gets

you thru the day use it. In meantime work on reading a person's

intent not the letter of the post. If you read religious zealot out

of that then I'm a monkey's uncle, how about next time you

just delete, if you are powerless not too, remove yourself

from the group. g-d is a mention of faith nothing more

nothing less and at the end of the day FAITH is the only

thing most of us have got to hold on too.

Re: Pain Pain Pain.... need support

Looks as if the religious brigade is back again. I'm out!

Margaret B

> Hi Carmen - Your last paragraph said it all. There is some sort of

> reason

> for you having to endure all this. You may never know for sure

> what that

> reason is, but learning to live with it, and possibly overcome it

> are your

> new goals in life.

> I am glad you aren't suicidal. We all get frustrated and feel

> weighed

> down by the pain and depression. I believe you need to switch from

> Effexor

> to Cymbalta. It's obvious the Effexor isn't helping you anymore.

> Cymbalta

> is similar in that it can give you energy, but it also has an added

> component to help with the pain.

> You need to shop for a doctor who will treat your pain with the

> needed

> meds and treat you with respect. Fire the other guy's butt!!! I'm

> sure

> cancer pain is the worst, but this guy obviously doesn't believe

> that anyone

> else could be even close on the pain scale. What a jerk.

> As for your family, instead of dwelling on all you cannot do

> for them

> now, try to dwell on how much you love them and are glad to be with

> them.

> Guilt is the worst thing for us, it just sinks us down further into

> the

> black pit of depression. Tell your kids and husband every day that

> you love

> them and feel so lucky to be blessed with them in your life. Like

> I told

> another mom, if you can't attend their concert/ballgame/whatever,

> let them

> know that you are cheering them on from the couch or bed or

> whatever. They

> are so much better off with you, than without you.

> I hope some of this hopes and I will pray for you to get some

> relief

> from your pain and your depression.

> Jeanne in WI

>

>

>> I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for

>> what was

>> coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

>> possible. My

>> left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since December 22.

>> That day

>> my husband took me to the ER. The doctor there was kind and

>> respectful to

>> what was going on. He gave me some

> reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> proper

> medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. That

> was it. I

> saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, people who

> take that

> level of pain medication should be dying of cancer etc.

> In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor,

> and a very

> large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

> losing my

> handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him too.

> He has

> found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

> still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I

> know, I just

> know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult for him,

> though in different ways.

> Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to say,

> " what is

> it now... "

>>

>> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with

>> chronic pain

>> was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But I

>> understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I

>> feel like I

>> am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is

> about wanting

> to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no one

> seems to

> understand anymore.

>>

>> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

>> being.

>> I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>>

>> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

>> can't

>> quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more

>> than I

>> could handle. Would he?

>

>

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on

> the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always

> check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along

> with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just

> dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is)

> pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to

> trying to make that situation better.

>

> 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-

> unsubscribe

>

> 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling

> bad at the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that

> potentially take something another member says the wrong way. And

> that includes the things that one member may find funny (even if

> it's laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal with illness

> whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

> of humor.

>

> 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad

> day pls let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>

[Guest guest]

WHAT?

Margaret Badner wrote: Looks as if the

religious brigade is back again. I'm out!

Margaret B

> Hi Carmen - Your last paragraph said it all. There is some sort of

> reason

> for you having to endure all this. You may never know for sure

> what that

> reason is, but learning to live with it, and possibly overcome it

> are your

> new goals in life.

> I am glad you aren't suicidal. We all get frustrated and feel

> weighed

> down by the pain and depression. I believe you need to switch from

> Effexor

> to Cymbalta. It's obvious the Effexor isn't helping you anymore.

> Cymbalta

> is similar in that it can give you energy, but it also has an added

> component to help with the pain.

> You need to shop for a doctor who will treat your pain with the

> needed

> meds and treat you with respect. Fire the other guy's butt!!! I'm

> sure

> cancer pain is the worst, but this guy obviously doesn't believe

> that anyone

> else could be even close on the pain scale. What a jerk.

> As for your family, instead of dwelling on all you cannot do

> for them

> now, try to dwell on how much you love them and are glad to be with

> them.

> Guilt is the worst thing for us, it just sinks us down further into

> the

> black pit of depression. Tell your kids and husband every day that

> you love

> them and feel so lucky to be blessed with them in your life. Like

> I told

> another mom, if you can't attend their concert/ballgame/whatever,

> let them

> know that you are cheering them on from the couch or bed or

> whatever. They

> are so much better off with you, than without you.

> I hope some of this hopes and I will pray for you to get some

> relief

> from your pain and your depression.

> Jeanne in WI

>

>

>> I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for

>> what was

>> coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

>> possible. My

>> left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since December 22.

>> That day

>> my husband took me to the ER. The doctor there was kind and

>> respectful to

>> what was going on. He gave me some

> reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> proper

> medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas. That

> was it. I

> saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said, people who

> take that

> level of pain medication should be dying of cancer etc.

> In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor,

> and a very

> large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

> losing my

> handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him too.

> He has

> found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

> still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I

> know, I just

> know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult for him,

> though in different ways.

> Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to say,

> " what is

> it now... "

>>

>> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with

>> chronic pain

>> was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But I

>> understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I

>> feel like I

>> am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is

> about wanting

> to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no one

> seems to

> understand anymore.

>>

>> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

>> being.

>> I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>>

>> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

>> can't

>> quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me more

>> than I

>> could handle. Would he?

>

>

>

> 1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on

> the list as to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always

> check with your dr. Some treatments are dangerous when given along

> with other meds as well as to certain health conditions or just

> dangerous in general.

>

> 2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is)

> pls don't be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to

> trying to make that situation better.

>

> 3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-

> unsubscribe

>

> 4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling

> bad at the same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that

> potentially take something another member says the wrong way. And

> that includes the things that one member may find funny (even if

> it's laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal with illness

> whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

> of humor.

>

> 5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad

> day pls let us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

>

> Have a nice day everyone.

>

>