Re: PTSD... maybe I DO have it~~sensitive topic: child abuse~~

[Guest guest]

I can only cry for all of you who have experienced these kinds of things. I

believe that any person who would molest or abuse a child in any way deserves to

die!! I would support the death penalty for these people. I also think they

should die a long, slow and agonising death!! Even though I didn't suffer sexual

abuse as a child, I was always so careful with my daughter as I knew those kinds

of people were out there!! I had talked to her in a 'child appropriate' way when

she was very young about the importance of telling me if any person ever touched

her in an inappropriate manner, and I also told her that some bad people would

tell children that they would do something bad to their families if they told,

and she couldn't believe them. I didn't want to frighten her, just make her

aware of the danger. It seemed to work. She wasn't frightened of men. She also

never was molested, as I know she would have told me had she been.

I know it's not my job to say this, but when we discuss things like this, we

need to mark our posts to warn those in our group who may not want to read about

these things for whatever reason. It could cause flashbacks for some people.

Peace and Love

Caroline

>> I was reading the posts here about PTSD. I don't think I have

> that. But again, maybe I do.

> Debra, I think I shared with you personally about the sexual abuse I

> experienced via a neighbor of my grandparents sometime after the age

> of 8 or 9 --- I could no longer tell anyone just how old I was when

> it happened, perhaps my sister or cousin would remember better as

> they somehow escaped the level I did. But on the other hand, no

> matter what the age, it does NOT change the fact that it occurred.

> My mother was aware of a change in me but she believed that was

> triggered by the fact that my paternal grandfather lived with us for

> at least a year or 2 and we seldom had a pleasant family meal during

> the time he was a member of the household --- he and my father argued

> constantly at meals, which was not pleasant but I know upon

> reflection, that those arguments were NOT the largest or even much of

> the changes in me that my mother saw. I find it interesting that I

> once, many years ago, told my present husband about that abuse and at

> that time, he shrugged it off as something that should have no impact

> on me as a young woman. But in the late 1960's or early 1970's, many

> if not most people, did not or would not believe the impact such acts

> could have on a child. Today, that same man becomes very angry when

> he hears of such acts and has acknowledged that it did have a large

> impact on me. But perhaps I should also mention that he himself

> suffered/suffers from PTSD from the months he spent in Vietnam, which

> he would not ever acknowledge as a form of any kind of stress! I

> could be wrong about why he seems to believe that but, I think much

> of it is because, to him, serving his country was what one did and

> his family/ancestors had fought in many wars if not all of the wars

> that have been fought from the beginning of the settlement of the US.

> One thing that I find interesting when I read the posts of many

> people in this groups is how many of us have suffered some form of

> abuse at some period or periods of our lives --- but then that also

> gives me another insight as I write that --- we have concealed the

> abuse and in concealing the abuse from others, we have, unknowingly,

> caused pain that we cannot or could not understand. I am reminded

> that when I talk about certain subjects, I automatically put my right

> hand over the area I think of as my heart --- and that is the area

> where what I now know I first began experiencing what has now been

> diagnosed as Fibro. But also that abuse and other events, such as

> the fact that I saw, at the age of 11 months, my older brother killed

> violently by a drunk driver, were occurances that I could not

> verbalize and because of the inability to express, were suppressed

> physically and mentally!

> And in relation to the sexual abuse, I also have had some feelings of

> guilt in recent years as I wonder if any of my younger female

> cousins, who lived close to the man who abused me, may have done the

> same to any of those three (more guilt, more stress!)

> I do know that I have finally verbalized some of what happen to me to

> others, including my niece when I called her last summer and asked

> her if she knew how many registered sex offenders lived close to

> her. I was startled at her response as it was a very dismissive on

> which alarmed me as she has three daughters of her own. Before

> ending the conversation, I said " Perhaps I am more concerned about

> that because of the sexual abuse I experienced as a child! " And I

> also said something to a former classmate when she made a remark that

> she " knew it could not be true about several of her neighbors who are

> on the list in our home town! " I said pretty much the same thing to

> her as I did to my niece!

> So, now that I am on my soapbox again, perhaps one thing that might

> be helpful is if adults who do realize they experienced abuse spoke

> out more, others would not be so dismissive or believe " they couldn't

> do that! "

> Debra and Marti, I just want you to know that I am here and do care

> as I know you share the same pain that I had buried for so long.

>

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