Re: A question for women who had children... pain with childbirth

[Guest guest]

That's highly possible Debra. Actual labor for me was not bad at all

but that's because of being on demoral at the time. I had heard enough

horror stories by that time to know that there was no way I would do

natural childbirth. Got fussed at about that by parents and inlaws but

I figured they had no say so in it, they were not the ones having to

endure it. Same comeback I used when they gripd and griped at me about

not breastfeeding.

anyway, i would bet that it did have something to do with the high

level of pain.

lisa n.

[Guest guest]

Hi Debra,

When I had my first child in 1973, I had a terrible time. My water broke so I

had to go into the hospital before I was dilated very far. It seemed like it

took forever for me to dilate and they gave me pertossin to speed it along.

When it was OK I got an epidural, but it only took on one side so I could feel

the other side the whole time. It took 32 hours for me to give birth and I was

in mind, numbing pain that I couldn't even begin to describe. I vomited the

whole time from the pain. It also took me at least two weeks to recover.

When I had my second in 1977, everything was different. I woke up early in a

little pain but it was 2 weeks past my due date so I was ready to go for

anything. Just in case I got up and showered and washed my hair. I realized

the pain was getting worse, so I called my doctor and told him I couldn't tell

if I was in labor or if I was having colitis pain. I'm sure he wanted to say

" dumby " , but he didn't. He did ask if the pain was at regular intervals and if

so then it was probably labor. They were so I got my bag and finally woke my

husband and said I would wait for him to get ready to go. No biggy. The pains

did get worse, but nothing like before. We were 45 min from the hospital, so we

left when he was ready and when we got there I was dilated 8cm and didn't have

time for an epidural. It was all over by 9am, 4 hours, and I felt great. Was

ready to go home then, but didn't. We stayed overnight at least back then. (Not

like my daughter's 3 times in a birthing

center where you have to be out in 8 hours after birth and can't go in until

you are 3cm dilated.) I had no recovery time at all and continued to feel

great.

So none of this makes sense I know. I will say the first child is high strung

and egocentric; while the second is laid back and nurturing. Could it be the

deliveries? Who knows?

Sorry I wasn't much help.

I didn't start getting the symptoms of fibro until 1989 so I don't know if it

had anything to do with anything. Wish I could have been more help.

Take care,

Marti

debra van ness wrote:

I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I might

ask just as a little poll here for me.

Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of death pain I ever

had. I have heard so many other women that have said " it was not that bad " ....

or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was much worse for

me? Of course, at the time my children were born I did not know yet that I had

FM.

Thanks,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

The pain of childbirth was different for every child I bore. Keep in

mind, I bore four children. The first I had no pain medication. The

second, my pain medication didn't kick in until after he was already

born, by that time I wasn't anything but groggy for two days

afterwards. That was my largest child.

The third child, again, no medication, but honestly the one with the

worst toll on my body. I was bed bound for the last six weeks of my

pregnancy due to both premature labor other bodily chaos. Forced on a

nearly liquid diet, drinking three gallons of fluid a day. After my

third child was born I spent three weeks in bed, mainly because

moving was beyond challenging. They said I'd suffered back labor.

My fourth child put me in the hospital two and a half days before his

birth, because my body was actually trying to abort a full-term

infant, who was still breathing and with a strong heartbeat as well.

When I got pregnant the last time, I chose to ensure that no more

children would be born afterwards.

In all honesty, it was the best decision I ever made. I was 28 on the

very day they ensured I would have no more children via surgical

means. That was nearly ten years ago, as my birthday approaches with

the swiftness of eagles. Since the day of my surgery, my health has

gone into a steadily deteriorating spiral. I cannot afford insurance,

mainly due to serious financial setbacks since 2005. I cannot qualify

for disability without being able to afford going to a doctor. I want

to be able to work, but honestly don't know that I'd ever be able to

work outside the home. Finding jobs I can do from home is an

impossible task since the best boss in the world died last year. I

worked for him as an audio transcriptionist, because he used good

tapes, great equipment and sent me quality recordings. His followers

were anything but in that sense. Their tapes were horrid, and after a

torturous six months of working with ever-worsening quality, I left

the position.

I've been writing, but haven't truly been taken seriously as

yet. " New " writers have to have the ability of Shakespeare, Thoreau,

or Dante first shot out of the box if they're to be published in the

industry filled with more barracuda per square foot of water than

there are square miles in the state I call home. Honestly, I've been

a published writer half my life, small press and newspapers mostly,

but that apparently doesn't count when you go beyond the strictures

of poetry toward novels and such. I guess finding a reputable

publisher is about the same as finding a reputable fibro doctor, a

needle in a haystack endeavor.

A. Neff

>

> I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I

might ask just as a little poll here for me.

>

> Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of

death pain I ever had. I have heard so many other women that have

said " it was not that bad " .... or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

>

> My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was

much worse for me? Of course, at the time my children were born I

did not know yet that I had FM.

>

> Thanks,

> Debra V.

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

, I wish you good luck on becomeing a published author... and

just think, no more money troubles if that blessing happens!! Just

look at J.K. Rowling, living off welfare when her first book was

publishd and now one of the richest people in the world!

Good luck!

N.

[Guest guest]

Hi Debra, I also was not yet diagnosed with 3 my 4 children. My labors were

easy IM a wimp so I got an epidural but even before that it wasnt bad.

Actually id rather go through labor than have a tooth pulled, Im telling the

truth based on MY experiance. Everyone is different. Plus I may be a little

selfish here I like that in labor everyone is paying attention to ME. As in

everyday life no one really cares.lol hope this helps-

> I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I might

> ask just as a little poll here for me.

>

> Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of death pain I

> ever had. I have heard so many other women that have said " it was not that

> bad " .... or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

>

> My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was much

> worse for me? Of course, at the time my children were born I did not know

> yet that I had FM.

>

> Thanks,

> Debra V.

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it

> now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ditto, go for it !

Marti

Mystic wrote:

, I wish you good luck on becomeing a published author... and

just think, no more money troubles if that blessing happens!! Just

look at J.K. Rowling, living off welfare when her first book was

publishd and now one of the richest people in the world!

Good luck!

N.

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Hi Debra. I think the pain of childbirth is different for everybody.

And of course it depends on whether you had an epidural or not.I will

tell you this, it totally sucked, until getting an epidural. Then it

was easy sailing from there. I had a very difficult pregnancy from

about 30 weeks on. I had cholestasis which made me itch 24 hours a

day with no relief. and experienced pre-term labor on and off for

weeks. so i just couldn't wait to have my son. and he came 4 1/2

weeks early. and thank god was totally healthy at 7 pounds. my point

being is that i suffered for so long that the pain of childbirth was

welcomed by me just to stop the suffering....

Jerilyn

>

> I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I

might ask just as a little poll here for me.

>

> Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of

death pain I ever had. I have heard so many other women that have

said " it was not that bad " .... or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

>

> My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was

much worse for me? Of course, at the time my children were born I

did not know yet that I had FM.

>

> Thanks,

> Debra V.

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My labor pains were what I would consider to be normal. I never screamed,

just breathed through them. Both labors ended up in C-sections, however.

After six hours of steady labor with the first, I was worn out, and my BP

plus the baby's was going up. So that was an emergency C-section. Second

labor never progressed enough in spite of regular contractions. I had an OB

come in and shove his whole hand inside me to decide if I had a wide enough

birth canal for the baby's head to fit. Ouch! That was horrible. And it

was decided to go with a C-section again. So for me, the fatigue got to me

first, just like it does with the FM.

Jeanne in WI

>I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I might ask

>just as a little poll here for me.

>

> Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of death pain

> I ever had. I have heard so many other women that have said " it was not

> that bad " .... or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

>

> My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was much

> worse for me? Of course, at the time my children were born I did not know

> yet that I had FM.

>

> Thanks,

> Debra V.

[Guest guest]

Oh Bonnie, what a time you've had. You've had so much trauma you must have a

killer case of FM. I assume you went to the women's refuge because your first

husband was abusive. My husband was too. I volunteer at a women's shelter now,

maybe something like you went to. And your second husband killed your son? How

terribly tragic. I have tears streaming down my face. Then you had such trauma

giving birth to your other children. I am so sorry for all of this. I wish I

could give you a hug, but this will have to do ((((((Kate)))))).

I agree with you that people deal with their pain in the ways you mentioned.

There are the mentally ill, which some of people with fibro are, the drug

addicts and the alcoholics and us, who are trying to get by whatever way we can.

Those terrible things that have happened to us have to find their way out

someway. That is why I agree that we are the strong ones, because we are trying

to deal with our pasts and our lives without becoming one of the above.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Take care of yourself,

Marti

Kate Court wrote:

My life is sooo traumatic I don't know WHICH one caused the FM.

My first husband sent me to a women's refuse and convent,

My second husband tried to kill me, then killed himself and my baby son.

I too almost died with the birth of my second and third children.

Both are autistic, one is home schooled, my divorce 5 years ago was

horrific during which I was held hostage by my divorce lawyer.

I started having syptoms after a saw him again after a 2 year absence.

Do I think he caused it NO, do I think my body was ready for this

OHHHHHH YYYYEESSS, I think everyone expresses " symptoms "

in their own way, I think there are drunks, drug addicts and then the mentally

ill and then I think there is US. If " depression " is " anger turned inward "

then we are the people who have learnt to channel their

feelings inward and " pain " is an expression of the things we can't

get rid of so we just " toxic build " those feelings until they literally

hurt our system, now if anyone can build us a pain dialysis we are

onto a winner. I firmly beleive that within the next 5 years FM will be

diagnosed as a " toxic " build up of something in our system.

Bonnie

A question for women who had children... pain with childbirth

I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I might ask just

as a little poll here for me.

Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of death pain I ever

had.. I have heard so many other women that have said " it was not that bad " .....

or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was much worse for

me? Of course, at the time my children were born I did not know yet that I had

FM.

Thanks,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

I never had kids, but my sister who also has fibro has two young sons.

She wanted many more children but had so much fibro pain during her

second pregnancy, that she opted to have her tubes tied.

debra van ness wrote:

> I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I might ask

just as a little poll here for me.

>

> Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of death pain I

ever had. I have heard so many other women that have said " it was not that

bad " .... or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

>

> My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was much worse

for me? Of course, at the time my children were born I did not know yet that I

had FM.

>

> Thanks,

> Debra V.

>

[Guest guest]

Marti,

Dry your tears for me hun, g-d gave me a huge gift with my FM, I got " neurally

mediated hypotension " ,(syncope episodes). 6 months ago I hit the ground during

one of my " seizures " (NOT - another misdiagnosis at the time) and I lost all my

memories, the good, the bad, the horrible, I came too and discovered I was a

single mum with 2 autistic kids. The kids were great they introduced themselves

and said to me " just pretend you adopted us today " and so we did that, so I have

known them THAT long now. They are a full handful and after 3 months of anxiety

attacks I have gotten used to it now.

The beginning was the hardest because people in the street would say " hi, how

are you ? " and I never knew whether they knew me or not, but now I worked out

that if they say " hi " to the kids they actually know me and if they just say

'hi " they don't, it seems that because of my experiences I am very mother bear

with my kids so only inner circle people know them or have access to them.

It also made cleaning out my closet easier, having met my mother for the first

time as an adult with no emotional attachment I realised I would not have her as

a friend and that she really wasn't " normal " or " supportive " and with the luxury

of no historical attachment I was able to see people for who and what they are.

My life got heaps better when I ditched the family imposed guilt.

The biggest guilt by far is the why is a women with five degrees at home with 2

kids doing nothing with her life when she could put them in foster care and live

a fabulously wealthy and productively normal life. Well I'm sorry but I actually

do think that my life is productive and dont think raising to two children (now

three) is " unproductive " and as far as work goes well if gd wants me in the

workforce he will get my son off distance education so I dont have to home

school him and a job will arrive for me, Until that happens my day is filled

with enough to fun 6 households and I " work " ENOUGH.

Man I sound miliantant these days. hehehe

BOnnie

A question for women who had children... pain with childbirth

I just have had a question in my mind for some time. I thought I might ask just

as a little poll here for me.

Childbirth for me was the most excruciating horrible brink of death pain I ever

had.. I have heard so many other women that have said " it was not that bad " .....

or " it was like a backache " .... etc....

My question is, do you think that because of the FM the pain was much worse for

me? Of course, at the time my children were born I did not know yet that I had

FM.

Thanks,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

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