It IS real

January 23, 2008

Just a ramble/vent.

All the discussion on that article about whether it's real - we all know

that it's real, we feel this pain and it is VERY (bleeping) real. As I

type this, I have that 'been beaten' feeling all over, and my outer

sides of the very top of my legs/below my hips area is on-fire feeling.

The way I feel today happens during the winter, and then I usually get

one spring time flare. Oh yes, this is most definitely real. What my

body has been feeling for almost 13 years is very real!

Doctors will say that it is because you are depressed. My doctor friend

told me that, I said " But I'm NOT depressed! " He was baffled

then! Because I have been depressed before, but now I'm not. But when

a flare hits, THEN I get depressed. Not " depression brings on flare " ,

but " flare hurts so I feel less happy. " Who is happy go lucky when you

feel like you've been beaten by a baseball bat!? Find me that person.

I may wear a smile when around others, but those are just old habits.

I don't see a doctor for my fibro at this time. You want to know why?

Because of all the years I spent going from doctor to doctor to doctor

to bleeping doctor, asking what is wrong with me, only to be told I'm

stressed, or depressed, or OCD or generalized anxiety disorder or

working too hard, burning the candles at both ends, to being given that

look. A decade of that is enough to make anyone lose trust and belief

in doctors.

And now there is lyrica but I'm so scared to try that. You want to know

why? Several years ago one of the MANY doctors I visited prescribed me

VIOXX!!!! My 'gut' said wait this one out, don't take it, it's kind of

new and you don't know enough about it. Well I waited, then there was

the recall and people dying etc.

So now it's the same thing with Lyrica, I'm just too overly cautious to

take it! I don't want these drug companies who spend a ton of money on

advertising to get MY money only if it is going to hurt me long term or

not make me feel better. And the side effects terrify me, honestly. I

hate spending money on something that is going to make me feel worse.

I do hope this Lyrica is a good thing, and not another drug for

companies to get rich off. I always find it funny when I am taking

something and then it becomes available for generic, so they make a new

'formula' so they can charge you more money. Example - Flonase. It

used to cost me $30! It went generic (praise the heavens!) and that

only cost me $10. Well the company went and made Veramyst. I want to

laugh in their faces and say you think I'm going to buy THAT when I get

generic flonase and it works just fine? Why can't they consider the

patient and their health concerns instead of holding out their hands for

all our money!? Do they think we actually have any money left after how

much we spend on prescriptions, supplements, remedies? If they wouldn't

spend so much on advertising, you'd think Americans could afford our

prescriptions. It's just another thing that I could go on and on

about. I do generic when I can. Most of my meds are generic. But

Aciphex isn't generic yet. So I spend $30 a month on that, and I

refuse to try and live without it.

Sometimes I feel like doctors don't know a damn thing about this and

have no clue how to treat it, what causes it, and anything else about

it. Those that do are a million miles from my home. So I tend to feel

extremely frustrated when I so much as ponder the thought of talking to

my doc, he'll laugh at me! Or he'll give me 'that look' and you all

know what look I'm talking about. I'm so fed up with that look! I lost

faith in doctors, but found one I like okay, and I only go to him for my

GERD meds and sinus/allergy meds. I know the time has come to discuss

this with him, but I keep putting it off because if he gives me 'that

look' then I'll walk out right then and there! And right now I like him

and I don't want to not like him.

Anyhow, that article about real vs not real, I think the writer was

thinking that the drug companies want to make money off of us for any

purpose or non purpose. These drug commercials are actually helping

educate the public about what Fibro really is, and helping the public

see that it IS VERY real. That part I do like. I have so many people

who are a bit more compassionate than many years ago. I remember trying

to explain fibro to my friend seven years ago and she just

wouldn't accept it at all. She was doing that 'well are you sure it's

not...' or 'have you tried....' like I just woke up today and decided I

have this. No it doesn't work that way. Don't you hate it when normals

think you've not tried EVERYTHING? They think they have this green

light to offer all these suggestions like " Ohhhh why didn't I think of

that? " Well most cases we did think of that, and have tried that. Right?

Anyhow, nothing I said made her believe it was real. Then later on she

said her friend so-and-so had fibro and suddenly she was a believer.

Why was my explanation not good enough?

We've come a long way, but still we have a long way to go to get doctors

to believe us and HELP us!

Sending love, hugs, concern, compassion and sympathy all around. I'm

sorry to be such a bad list member who doesn't reply much. I needed to

type this vent out because it makes me feel emotionally better, and I do

skim posts when I can. Today is bad, bad with pain. I took a naproxen

and thank goodness it's starting to work. Sorry for the novel. This

monster has been affecting my life for nearly 13 years now so it is a

blessing to be able to talk to others who know.

Melody

January 23, 2008

Melody, you are so right. I can relate to everything you are saying. That is

why I get so angry with people who don't believe fibro is a real miserable life

changing illness.

It is ok not to respond all the time here. It is fine to just read. And it

is fine to vent when you need to. That is why we are here.

Hope you get a little break from the pain soon.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

Melody wrote: