Re: Re: Relationships with Fibro -- When to tell -- a question? To Kate

[Guest guest]

Have you thought about winging it. Like if its a bad day just saying im not

feeling up to it,

and once you have had a few of those days " just saying well I have fibro and I

need to pace myself. I would not blurt it out in a " dying " fashion but rather

just drop it in to convresations as it comes up. Im sorry todays not such a good

day, but I do want to see you so how about a pizza and DVD at home instead of

dinner and a movie out etc. Over time if he sees you " dealing " with your illness

not malingering over it, he is more likely to " love " you and accept that the

illness comes with you not defines you.

Bonnie

Re: Relationships with Fibro -- When to tell -- a question? To

Kate

I just found this person off of OKCupid the other day. We have

exchanged several emails and talked on the phone. We look really good

on paper and over the phone but it really is too soon to say. We are

meeting/having a first date on Sunday. I have to make sure I don't

over do it so I can handle going out and being " social " . So no, I

don't know his medical stuff. I just wonder how to deal with it in

relationships and how others on here have. But you are right, it is

about me. Having FMS doesn't define me but it is something that is

apart of me. Just like me having a mood disorder. It is something

that I feel is ingrained no matter how much I don't like it. So yeah,

I can see myself saying something early on. I just don't want to get

treated with kid gloves or shitty b/c of it.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

>

> Tell AFTER you have told him you leave your dirty socks on the floor

and everything you eat has to fit in the microwave. Seriously its a

matter of perspective, on your list of important things how important

is it ? does it define who you are or is it something you live with.

Do You know his medical history ? DO you knwo about his gammy foot

that plays up in footy season ? Is it important for you to know that.

Or is his personality and the way he views his gammy foot more

important. This is not a " you " question its an " us " question. What do

you need to know about him ? Where are his priorities ?

>

>

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as

to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr.

Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to

certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be

afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation

better.

3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is:

Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe

4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling bad at the

same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially take something

another member says the wrong way. And that includes the things that one member

may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal

with illness whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

of humor.

5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad day pls let

us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

Have a nice day everyone.