Re: Isolation??? love it too! at times

[Guest guest]

Not an only child here, but my bro was 8 yrs older so basically an only growing

up. I find a real connection with you Ruthie, the gardening (flowers) OH and

all the birds, I love seeing a species I have never seen. I spend hours on end

with my 4 kitties and my sheltie. I've been acused of caring more for them then

some people, didn't argue the point. Lol I do love people, but I do need time

for myself to re-energize. People can drain me. I take on other people's

feelings too much and always feel I can fix things for others. Slowing learning

I can't.

I really stay busy and don't sit much during the day, but if I'm overcome by

the fatique and/or pain I have too. But to get going again is like cranking an

ole rusty engine. It's hard at times to keep going. But the pain is better if

you keep moving, for me.

I may have fibro, but refuse to let fibro have me.

Judy

Ruthie Dyer wrote:

Isolation? Love it, myself. As an only child I always had to be my own

entertainment, so I got good at it and can always have an enjoyable time. In

fact, sometimes people are an intrusion. LOL! (pains in the (_!_) LOL!) I love

reading, doing crossword or cryptogram puzzles and looking after my animal

friends. I also enjoy my garden and feeding the birds. I love looking up the

unusual birds I see in my birding book and keeping a list. Cooking and baking

are fun as well. I try to make myself be as active as possible because I know if

I rest, I rust. Just sitting in my recliner to watch a movie makes me totally

stiff so I know to get up and walk around a bit. Inactivity brings more in

activity so I try to keep moving as much as I can.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Yes its important to distinguish between people who are " down on their luck " and

people who are so ill that the concept of a routine, and a job are out of the

question. Don't quote me on this but the guys who came back from Vietnam who had

PTSD were MORE likely to have wanderlust, simply because the concept of getting

up and doing the same thing over and over everyday was so alien after the war

that they just could not do it.

There has been a lot written about the difference between WW1 and WW2 survivors

who also saw similar horror and Vietnam Vets and the difference seems to be that

in WW1 and 2 we (society) was globally affected so more support was given to

families and there was that global sense of group surival (one need only look at

Isreal for proof of that) whereas in Vietnam it was they went over there we

stayed home and watched it on TV there was no " us' and therefore no " us " to pull

it together at the other end. In WW1 and WW2 we all had to work together and no

one got left behind (well very few) whereas in Vietnam many simply could not

return to the life they had because it just wasnt there in a way that allowed

them to heal.

People who have wanderlust " buy them a burger for lunch " but don't try and

change their world, they quiet like it. I know that sounds odd to us because we

can think of nothing worse, but some really do like it, those down on their luck

give them a map, but they have to walk the path, thats how you can tell the

difference. One can if given the opportunity, the other can't no matter how much

you try.

Re: Isolation??? love it too! at times

I congratulate you on trying to rescue the homeless man, but you're right, it

might not 'take', and I hope you won't feel like a failure if it doesn't. It is

sometimes hard to reach someone like that. They need mental health help also if

there's much chance of it to work in the long run, oh and alcohol rehab which

usually is a function of the mental health services. Not all homeless people are

like that, of course. I know several down-on-their-luck people who aren't on the

streets by any choice of their own. My mental health group works with homeless

people as well, they have a lot of facilities to help them, but their success

rate is very low. Even when they provide housing, the people often prefer the

streets and 'camps'. It's a hard and often thankless task most of the time. It's

strange that the ones who would most benefit from these services are the ones

who most often 'fall through the cracks'. I do hope it works for your guy. It

does help us when

we try to help people. I'm glad you are making the effort..

That being said, I am pretty much a loner at most times as well. I do have

friends with whom I socialise when I am able, but prefer usually my own house

and life. I used to garden, I always had huge gardens in Washington which except

for the vegetables were quite well established. I had a dozen raised beds for

veggies. I could also afford help with it all back then when it began getting

too much for me on my own. However, just wandering through the gardens would

raise my spirits, and it was my only real 'indulgence'. Now that I'm living in

Arizona, it would just be too hard on me, cos the things that grow here aren't

the things I love. I do have a lot of potted plants, but outdoor gardening, even

if I had a house, would NOT be the same nor worth the effort to me. I know if I

moved back to Washington it would be different, and I would manage at least a

small flower garden and a small vegetable garden as well. I could kick myself

for moving, Now, due to

circumstances beyond my control, I can't afford to move back. Well, the many

houseplants at least help. They are now my 'indulgence' and may crowd me out of

here soon...LOL!! I am always making too many starts and repotting them. I gave

quite a few away for Christmas, to make room for more. I am careful to only

raise the kinds that aren't toxic to animals, as my cat does nibble at times,

even though she has her own little patch of grass and pot of catnip. I have a

problem keeping the catnip, as if I'm not careful she will 'nose' it all up

while barely past the seedling stage.

Sorry this has turned into a novel. I just woke up and can't go back to sleep

yet, so this is how I'm 'celebrating' New Year's Eve. The pain of my flare has

eased up just a bit for now, and I'm bored.

Peace and Love

Caroline

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1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as

to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some

treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain

health conditions or just dangerous in general.

2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be

afraid to ask for help.. It is the first step to trying to make that situation

better.

3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is:

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4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling bad at the

same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially take something

another member says the wrong way. And that includes the things that one member

may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal

with illness whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

of humor.

5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad day pls let

us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

I can speak with quite a bit of authority on Viet Nam vets. It wasn't only the

PTSD that affected them. It had a whole lot to do with the fact that they did

what they were ordered to do...most were drafted, then sent to fight a war that

most Americans didn't believe in. When they returned, after putting their lives

in so much danger and watching so many of their friends die, they came back

'home' and were treated like lepers. The government refused, for the most part,

to take any responsibility for them. The ones affected by Agent Orange, like my

brother, were not treated for the symptoms of that at all, as the 'official

line' was that it was harmless and could not be causing all of the symptoms the

GIs were returning with. The ones who lost limbs or worse, were not helped a lot

either, they were given a new artificial limb, if they were lucky, then sent off

to make it on their own with no rehab or retraining in a new job that they would

be able to do. The ones with PSTD got no help at all either. It wasn't even

recognised as a mental illness. When my brother came back, you would not dare to

wake him up, he could jump up quickly and attack you, as in his mind he was

still in Viet Nam. If he heard a helicopter, he would simply 'freak out'. He had

many other bizarre behaviours as well, all of them having to do with a type of

hallucination that he was still in Viet Nam, and still in danger at every turn.

It was obvious to everyone that he, as well as thousands of other vets with the

same symptoms had something drastically wrong, but the government still would

not help them. It took a long time for him to begin to heal, and luckily he

wasn't one who ended up on the streets. He now has quite a few very severe

health problems which the government has finally admitted are due to Agent

Orange. He now gets some disability from the Army, as well as treatment at the

VA. To top it off...our father was English, and I was born there, but my brother

was 'lucky' enough to have been born here. He was living in England when the

American government demanded that he be drafted into the American Army. We both

had dual citisenships, but still, cos he was born here, he was required to serve

for the US.

The point being that these men (and some women as well) put their lives on the

line for America, and instead of returning to a hero's welcome, as the vets from

the other 2 wars had, they were often spit on or worse. Add that treatment to

the PTSD and the illnesses caused by the chemicals, and what would one expect to

happen? I do know several vets who killed themselves within a few years of

returning, as they felt alone and abandoned as well as very ill with basically

the same things we have, and could get no help anywhere. When an injured vet

reurned home he was discharged at the first possible moment, and had no benefits

from the military at all. Many of the ones who now live on the streets developed

schizophrenia and other disorders on top of the PTSD, and got no help for those

things either. So, to lump these vets in with the other homeless, is just not

right. Although many homeless people also suffer from schizophrenia and related

disorders as well. There are no safeguards in place to make sure these people

receive treatment, and part of their illness is that they will not stay on their

meds on their own.

This is another reason I write letters to the government!!

Peace and Love

Caroline

> Yes its important to distinguish between people who are " down on their

> luck " and people who are so ill that the concept of a routine, and a job

> are out of the question. Don't quote me on this but the guys who came

> back from Vietnam who had PTSD were MORE likely to have wanderlust,

> simply because the concept of getting up and doing the same thing over

> and over everyday was so alien after the war that they just could not do

> it.

>

> There has been a lot written about the difference between WW1 and WW2

> survivors who also saw similar horror and Vietnam Vets and the difference

> seems to be that in WW1 and 2 we (society) was globally affected so more

> support was given to families and there was that global sense of group

> surival (one need only look at Isreal for proof of that) whereas in

> Vietnam it was they went over there we stayed home and watched it on TV

> there was no " us' and therefore no " us " to pull it together at the other

> end. In WW1 and WW2 we all had to work together and no one got left

> behind (well very few) whereas in Vietnam many simply could not return to

> the life they had because it just wasnt there in a way that allowed them

> to heal.

>

> People who have wanderlust " buy them a burger for lunch " but don't try

> and change their world, they quiet like it. I know that sounds odd to us

> because we can think of nothing worse, but some really do like it, those

> down on their luck give them a map, but they have to walk the path, thats

> how you can tell the difference. One can if given the opportunity, the

> other can't no matter how much you try.

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[Guest guest]

I might be beating the proverbial dead horse. My down on his luck man just

called me and he was rip-roaring drunk. Seems some kind soul gave him some money

and he immediately went to the liquor store for some cheap beer. I was very

upset with him. He wanted me to drive him somewhere and I told him I had an

appointment. Grrr! When I told my friend, who is also helping with him, what

transpired, she said that when he gets his social security money, he is just

going to be a " rich drunk " and lose his apartment again and be on the streets

being able to buy all the booze he wants and getting beaten and robbed for his

money. I am afraid she may be right. But, I couldn't live with myself if I

hadn't at least tried to give him his life back. *sigh*...I guess maybe there

are some people you can't help no matter what. I am just very down over this

right now. I have been in contact with his nephew who told me that his entire

family wants nothing to do with him anymore because he is an ungrateful soul

sucker. I am starting to believe it. After he gets his money, which will be in

March, I will just have to let him live his own life as he chooses and not worry

about him since he will have the means to help himself if he so chooses. Right

now, he doesn't. I don't NEED this stress.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

LOL! All I can say is thank GOD I am not married to the bum! I have a terrific

DH that is very supportive and understanding. He helps with the homeless guy

too, taking him to Soc. Services and talking to his case worker. We will all be

glad when the money comes in and we can cut bait. We have been fishing long

enough. LOL!

Ruthie