Loving Yourself Completely!

[Guest guest]

When the expressions " loving yourself " or " self-love " are first

heard, there may be confusion about what is meant. This is because we

think in terms of the love we are familiar with, dependent love. If

we try to love ourselves, we may take an approach similar to that

used in dependent love, using ourselves as the object of our love. We

may try to escape into ourselves, as we escaped into others. We may

become self-absorbed and self-indulgent, putting our own needs first.

The motive is still to escape. We reject unhappiness and, in so

doing, reject ourselves.

Self-love has nothing to do with using yourself as the object of your

love. Self-love means that your love comes from within, is generated

from within, not from " loving " any object because it may please you

tremendously, whether that object is someone else or yourself. Self-

love is a condition of awareness, a way of perceiving, an attitude,

which results in an integrated perception of the world.

The art of loving yourself begins with self-acceptance. They are

essentially the same. You begin loving yourself when you stop

rejecting yourself, especially on the feeling level. When you

practice self-acceptance of your feelings as they are now, you will

experience real changes in consciousness. You no longer try to juggle

people or possessions in the external world in order to find

fulfillment. You find fulfillment from within, simply by accepting,

without acting out, your feelings as they are right now.

Do not underestimate the importance of self-acceptance. It can end

the emotional pain that you feel or lead to the spiritual experience

you want. Starting with the mundane, you will reach the highest of

inner realization. In welcoming all your feelings, you become whole;

life becomes holistic. You experience oneness. You no longer

compulsively search for oneness in the external world, whether with

another person or with an achievement. You accept and love yourself.

In life, we may find it easy to allow ourselves to love and accept

multitudes of other people, but when it comes to loving ourselves

we're not as forgiving. In fact, we can be quite relentless in our

pursuit of perfection. So, how then do you learn to put aside all the

shoulds and should nots we face, and really begin a love affair with

yourself?

The first step is to realize that you are somebody. You're a friend,

someone's daughter or son, possibly a lover, an employee or employer,

or maybe even someone's spouse. No matter how your role changes,

you're still somebody. Nothing will ever change that.

The next step is to take time out to actually love yourself. In

romantic relationships it is often said that true love is shown

through actions, not words. Often people will buy others roses,

Godiva chocolates, expensive items… these things that symbolized an

idealized love but never for themselves. Why? Because, you must

feel that you yourself are worthy of being loved in order to

symbolize love. Although these are just simple things, the act of

doing the same for youself that you would do for others internalizes

love within you and awakens you God-like DNA. Learn to apply this to

yourself with the following ideas, and you'll be on the road to a

lifetime romance, with yourself!

Dear Me...

Write a love letter to yourself. In the letter describe what you

really like about you, and what you'd like to improve about yourself.

Keep it in a special place you can refer to when needed.

Scheduling Time

Make appointments with yourself to do artistic or spiritually

uplifting activities. For example, you might enjoy going on a picnic

at the park, taking a tour through an art museum, or taking a walk in

a secluded area.

The Finer Things In Life

Enjoy the finer things in life! Eat on your " good " dishes. Enjoy a

candlelit meal. Listen to a favorite CD over champagne. Wear your

favorite clothes. Treat yourself to unexpected present.

Enlighten Yourself

Try learning an enlightening hobby such as yoga or meditation.

Freedom Of Yourself

Give yourself freedom to make mistakes. Instead of questioning why

you are doing, or may have done, something, just accept that you did

it. Know inside that you'll handle it when you're ready to, and that

it is okay to do just that.

Forgiveness

Forgive yourself for something in your past. Write a letter of

apology that includes everything you might have done. Seal it in an

envelope, and keep it somewhere private.

Day-By-Day

Live life day-by-day. Try not to worry about what will, or will not

happen in the future. Or, what may, or may not have happened in your

past. All things are created in the present. Remember, your future

and your past are created by what you are doing right now this very

moment.

Louise Hay offers these helpful suggestions. Try them! They really

work.

1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to

criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody

changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative.

When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your

thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that

gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch

your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be

kind to yourself. Be patient

with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself

as you would someone you

really loved.

4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own

thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently

change the thoughts.

5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise

builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how

well you are doing with every little thing.

6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to

friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for

help when you need it.

7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them

to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill

those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of

fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn

about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and

revere the temple you live in.

9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this

growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself

looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the

mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: " I love you, I

really love you! "

10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or

lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship.

Begin NOW - do the best you can.

Any act of love is a step in the evolution of life. Love does not

differentiate between the love you give yourself and the love you

give others. Loving yourself is not self-centered. If you truly love

yourself, your actions do not exclude others' well-being. Your true

self-interest includes what is best for everyone. If you do what you

truly love to do, you are in harmony with the whole.

Love is. You cannot honor the wisdom of the ages without coming to

love. You cannot love others without loving yourself. You cannot love

yourself without loving others. You cannot express love without being

love. You are love, so that is not a problem.