Re: Think it is possible??? (very long) Debi Y/Judy

[Guest guest]

I do not think the people who kill themself realize what damage they do. Their

own pain is so over welmbing that logic is gone. A dear friend from one of my

FMS groups could not hold on and took her own life leaving behind a loving

husband and children.

I had to see a doctor who only treated the surviors of homicide and suicide

which it all of the people left behind. It is a delicate and guilt ridden bunch

of folks left behind wondering if they could have done something to chance it.

I call it the

" Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda Gang "

It never goes away. THere are just longer waves between the pain and sorrow.

I am so sad he had to experince something so terrible. Poor dear boy. There is

hope for all of us. DebiY

Judy Thurow wrote:

OMG Debi, how awful, how does anyone rid themselves of that. I'm

speechless, you poor thing. I often wonder what I can do for my son, for he will

always have a traumatic experience that will haunt him. He found his best friend

hanging at a graduation party. It worries me how it will effect him in years to

come.

I'm so sorry Debi, that you have had to live with this.

Judy

Deborah Younce wrote:

I also had a very bad childhood with an abusive stepfather who threatened kill

my mother if I ever told. I told when I was 24 and he did kill her. Every time I

try to talk about it or write about it the flashbacks are like a tidal wave. I

am now 50 and know in some areas I will never grow up. I still want my mommy.

Debi Y

Zimmy wrote:

> And to close those thoughts, it's possible, that if I had such buried

> memories that no one who even talk about, how many others may have had

> pains that were not explained to them?

, this was a tragic tale with interesting implications. I'm so

sorry for your loss. Congratulations on your efforts to investigate

it and make it part of your experience without the mystery and

vagueness that surrounds a 2-year-old's memory. I had a similar

experience with a vague memory and associated fear that was

subsequently explained, quite unexpectedly, by someone else.

I found that although it doesn't make the experience go away, it can

put it into an adult perspective, rather than flashbacks which

essentially have me viewing and feeling it like I did at age 5. As

I said above, it's now part of my experience, part of what makes me

who I am, rather than a vague feeling and unexplained terror.

Good work!

Z