Re: christi

[Guest guest]

> i guess i have thought about it in the back of my mind. i don't

> know what is holding me back from doing so. Fear i spose. maybe i

> am hoping for a miracle and for him to change though i am not sure

> that is possible. he does not get that what he is doing is

> controling, abusive, and plain mean. he says that it is because he

> is trying to run a budget, make a living, etc and i am getting in

> the way by spending money on herbs for my fibro. he has no choice.

> what does that mean? it isn't like i spend bill money on them. they

> are planned every payday. he cannot see that what happened with

> paypal and the bank, was not my doing and that he is partly

> responsible.

,

I think you've posted before about this husband of yours. He is

being abusive, and I hope that you are talking to someone about plans

of action in case things escalate.

It's easy to say " leave " , but you must weigh that against a number of

factors. One, of course, is how you will support yourself,

especially if you are ill and can't work. Another is the potential

for harm to you if you stay, or potential for harm to you from him if

you leave.

You can twist yourself up in knots trying to please this guy and it

won't work. You can't change him. I hope that you can find a way to

minimize damage to yourself. I hope that you will talk to someone -

somebody suggested talking to a women's shelter. Perhaps there are

resources for women with abusive spouses, that you can plan out how

to stay safe, and possibly how to get out of that situation.

Resources like that often will advise you how to put aside money so

you have some if you have to get out in a hurry, and how to tell when

it's time, and how to stay safe and hopefully defuse the situation so

it won't escalate until you can get out.

It's apparently not physically violent - yet. But he is abusing you

badly, emotionally and psychologically, and I wonder how long it will

be before he's not satisfied with that and proceeds to physical

violence.

Please get some advice on this.

Z