Re: Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

February 7, 2008

Debra, (((gentle hugs))) and I'm here for you. I wish I could move you

out here into my neighborhood and you could get to know my community.

So far I have not encountered anyone who doesn't believe me out here.

You would be accepted, loved, embraced, and BELIEVED!!!!!

Today is just a bad day all around I think, for me as well. I've

already cried and vented but deleted. I'm having a pretty rough one

myself. I don't usually open up when I do because of years of nobody

listening, plus years of not being very well liked, it takes time to

feel comfortable opening up during a bad day. I want you to know that

I'm here to listen anytime you want to vent. You are not alone, not

while I'm on the planet.

debra van ness wrote:

> I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a marathon

just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the " cheerful

attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't give a damn. I

know it too.

> Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she does not

understand is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on top of it all.

And she had made a comment that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is

a prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it!

Not a person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

> I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she told

me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for her " .. and made

comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably

from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

>

> I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me greatly.

If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then

they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro. I know that any

comment I make about it probably makes them roll their eyes.

>

> I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I can

take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect any

special treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either. And if I

call in and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me

then the next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

>

> I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me today

without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of my

life without me trying to hide it.

>

> love ya all,

> Debra V.

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it

now.

>

February 7, 2008

Debra,

I am so sorry you are feeling crappy today. I know when we are feeling that

way we start rehashing things that have made us angry. And from what you have

shared with the group you have every right to be angry.

As far as make-up goes, at first I would never even think of leaving the

house without my face on. I have been that way since I was a teen and first

started wearing makeup. Or even letting anyone except my dh see me without.

But that has changed if I scare someone oh well! Lately that hasn't been the

case. Especially when we are camping. Make up gets to be big hassle. So, I

have gradually not worn make up so people get use to it. I feel naked, but

somedays just do not feel like putting it on. It also saves on the pocketbook

not having to buy it all the time. You are not lazy!

Its a good idea going without so they can see how you really feel.

Hugs,

Lori H

debra van ness wrote:

I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a marathon

just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the " cheerful

attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't give a damn. I know

it too.

Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she does not understand

is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she had

made a comment that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is a

prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she told me

about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for her " .. and made

comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably

from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me greatly. If I

have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then they

acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro. I know that any comment I

make about it probably makes them roll their eyes.

I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I can take

the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect any special

treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either. And if I call in

and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me then the

next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me today without

makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of my life

without me trying to hide it.

love ya all,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

February 7, 2008

Debra,

I'm so sorry. This is what I have been saying about what I went through.

People don't care. For the most part they look for anything to talk bad about

you. I don't know what the hell happened to compassion, but it is sure hard to

find anymore. I was so sick the last few months I was at work I didn't wear

makeup anymore and my hair was in a ponytail most of the time because that way I

didn't have to fuss with it.

They all knew I had Lupus for 2 years and all they did was berate me behind my

back. I'd drag in there looking so bad and being so sick and I still worked

circles around them. So they badmouthed me because of that. Then they tell me

to take it easy and not work so hard and then they'd badmouth me because I

wasn't doing everyone's job anymore.

The truth is that we start to believe that its because of our illness, but its

not. It's the nature of the environment and unfortunately its very common

today. We just become extra sensitive to it because we have something for them

to sink their teeth into. When we are absent we aren't there to defend

ourselves. However, if it wasn't our health it wouldn't make them stop. They

would find something anyway.

So try not to let it get to you like it did me. I was devastated by it. It

damn near killed me; and it damn near killed at least 5 other people at my place

of employment that I know of. People that did NOT have any chronic diseases.

It DID kill one guy that I know of; at 38. ly, I wasn't even diagnosed

with Lupus when I went to work there; and my blood pressure was normal without

medication.

The disease is hard enough to live with. The backbiting isn't because of your

disease; its there anyway. You just worry about you and not what people are

saying.

Angie Harley Mama Double-D

Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow skiing,

camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers

member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

" It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

" While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow

part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious

uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner

http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

http://www.myspace.com/amkg

http://doripost.agrato.info/

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg

Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so

tired of pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a

marathon just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the

" cheerful attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't give a

damn. I know it too.

Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she does not

understand is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on top of it all.

And she had made a comment that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is

a prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it!

Not a person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she told

me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for her " .. and made

comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably

from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me greatly.

If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then

they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro. I know that any

comment I make about it probably makes them roll their eyes.

I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I can

take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect any

special treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either. And if I

call in and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me

then the next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me today

without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of my

life without me trying to hide it.

love ya all,

Debra V.

------------ --------- --------- ---

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

February 7, 2008

Debra,

You can vent anytime you need too!!!! Remember how big your shoulders are,

you always seem to be the strong one in the group and support all of

us.........sometimes that's just to much to put on yourself. Venting and

relieving some of that weight is so good. I recently broke down and vented

about my hubby and his mean, mean words...........what a weight lifted. You

hang in there sweetie, and vent vent vent.

Luv ya, Judy in WI

debra van ness wrote:

I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a marathon

just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the " cheerful

attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't give a damn. I know

it too.

Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she does not understand

is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she had

made a comment that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is a

prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she told me

about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for her " .. and made

comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably

from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me greatly. If I

have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then they

acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro. I know that any comment I

make about it probably makes them roll their eyes.

I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I can take

the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect any special

treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either. And if I call in

and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me then the

next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me today without

makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of my life

without me trying to hide it.

love ya all,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

February 7, 2008

Hi Debra,

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad today. It must be really hard to stay up

when you have to contend with people you work with all the time not

acknowledging how badly you feel. You deserve a medal in my opinion that

feeling like you do, you're able to make it to work. You're one of the Heroes.

You battle it every day and yet you push yourself to work to make a living. I

don't know how you do it.

Good for you going to work today without any makeup. Let go of the smiles all

the time and let them see what you are feeling. I know your job requires you to

be up for your patients, but not when you're not around them. How would you act

at work if you had that cold or flu? Act that way.

Not getting validation is a terrible thing. I'm glad you can come here and

vent and get it out how angry you are and how sad you feel. I understand along

with lots of others how hard you have it. I know you are doing all you can to

make it through.

I had some of those " friends " like the one who you describe who doesn't speak

to her friend with Fibromyalgia. Some friend. Don't think that's the right

word.

I wish for you better days and more understanding.

Blessed be,

Marti

debra van ness wrote:

I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a marathon

just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the " cheerful

attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't give a damn. I know

it too.

Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she does not understand

is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she had

made a comment that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is a

prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she told me

about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for her " .. and made

comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably

from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me greatly. If I

have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then they

acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro. I know that any comment I

make about it probably makes them roll their eyes.

I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I can take

the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect any special

treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either. And if I call in

and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me then the

next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me today without

makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of my life

without me trying to hide it.

love ya all,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

February 7, 2008

Debra,

Thx for being there for all of us. You should vent anytime you

need to. I know how you feel. As I have told you before I am also a nurse and

although I do homecare it is also very hard. I am looking forward to starting a

new job from home on the puter. But just wanted you to know that you may want to

be careful about what you tell people at work about your illness and meds you

take especially if you are on narcotics, I lost my job at my last home care

agency because of the fibro. and mainly the fact that I am on narcotics which I

believe I told someone in confidence and it got to the supervisor, I think they

they were afraid I would either make a big mistake at my job or they thought I

was a druggie and might steal my patients pain meds.(this has happened with

other drug addict nurses) I even got a note from my rheumy, saying my disease

and pain are under control and I see him every one to two months and my job

should not be affected in any way.I worked my

a--- off for that company for more than 12 years,There were many times that I

was the only nurse available to see patients and if not for me they would be out

of buissness a long time ago, At least they had to pay me 6 months of

unemployment and I got a break from working. Things are better now and I have

new opportunities presenting themselves.I hope things get better for you. Have

painfree days/nights.

Jodi

Judy Thurow wrote:

Debra,

You can vent anytime you need too!!!! Remember how big your shoulders are, you

always seem to be the strong one in the group and support all of

us.........sometimes that's just to much to put on yourself. Venting and

relieving some of that weight is so good. I recently broke down and vented about

my hubby and his mean, mean words...........what a weight lifted. You hang in

there sweetie, and vent vent vent.

Luv ya, Judy in WI

debra van ness wrote:

I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a marathon

just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the " cheerful

attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't give a damn. I know

it too.

Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she does not understand

is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she had

made a comment that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is a

prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she told me

about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for her " .. and made

comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably

from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me greatly. If I

have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then they

acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro. I know that any comment I

make about it probably makes them roll their eyes.

I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I can take

the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect any special

treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either. And if I call in

and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me then the

next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me today without

makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of my life

without me trying to hide it.

love ya all,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

February 7, 2008

Hi Angie and Debra,

It is amazing how few people there really are who care about others and what

they are going through. Several years ago I had Leukemia (well I guess I still

do, but it's in remission and I am fine) and went through two rounds of

chemotherapy. I was still working at the time and really didn't get any

sympathy at all, after the beginning well wishes. People there and everywhere,

including my family, really did not want to know about it. I think people get

scared of having cancer themselves and can't talk about it or something - the

same happens with Fibromyalgia. There are also those who say they don't know

what to say. (My mother says that's the way the cookie crumbles.)

Now I'm starting chemo again next week for the bone cancer and the few people

left that haven't already fallen out of my life because of Fibro don't want to

talk about it. At least I'm not working now, so I don't have to look at the

faces of the people I worked with like I did the other time. That was terrible.

Seeing the uncaring faces look away really fast.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with the lack of compassion that so many

people have.

You certainly don't deserve it. I wish I could put you (and me and everyone

else) in a place where people actually care what others are going through and

where it's second nature to be compassionate. I'm glad I have the people on

this site to talk to and glad that you have them too. Nothing's too bad to vent

about here. I hope you feel better,

Blessed be,

Marti

Angie wrote:

Debra,

I'm so sorry. This is what I have been saying about what I went through. People

don't care. For the most part they look for anything to talk bad about you. I

don't know what the hell happened to compassion, but it is sure hard to find

anymore. I was so sick the last few months I was at work I didn't wear makeup

anymore and my hair was in a ponytail most of the time because that way I didn't

have to fuss with it.

They all knew I had Lupus for 2 years and all they did was berate me behind my

back. I'd drag in there looking so bad and being so sick and I still worked

circles around them. So they badmouthed me because of that. Then they tell me to

take it easy and not work so hard and then they'd badmouth me because I wasn't

doing everyone's job anymore.

The truth is that we start to believe that its because of our illness, but its

not. It's the nature of the environment and unfortunately its very common today.

We just become extra sensitive to it because we have something for them to sink

their teeth into. When we are absent we aren't there to defend ourselves.

However, if it wasn't our health it wouldn't make them stop. They would find

something anyway.

So try not to let it get to you like it did me. I was devastated by it. It damn

near killed me; and it damn near killed at least 5 other people at my place of

employment that I know of. People that did NOT have any chronic diseases. It DID

kill one guy that I know of; at 38. ly, I wasn't even diagnosed with Lupus

when I went to work there; and my blood pressure was normal without medication.

The disease is hard enough to live with. The backbiting isn't because of your

disease; its there anyway. You just worry about you and not what people are

saying.

Angie Harley Mama Double-D

Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow skiing,

camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers

member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

" It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

" While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow

part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious

uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner

http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

http://www.myspace.com/amkg

http://doripost.agrato.info/

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg

Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a marathon

just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the " cheerful

attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't give a damn. I know

it too.

Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she does not understand

is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she had

made a comment that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is a

prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she told me

about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for her " .. and made

comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably

from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me greatly. If I

have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then they

acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro. I know that any comment I

make about it probably makes them roll their eyes.

I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I can take

the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect any special

treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either. And if I call in

and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me then the

next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me today without

makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of my life

without me trying to hide it.

love ya all,

Debra V.

------------ --------- --------- ---

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

February 7, 2008

Hi to all.

I am injoying this list more and more. From what I

can gather here is that all of us have something very

real in common, that we have been stong spirited

people and enjoy life.

But life with Fibro and the other illnesses that come

with it has made life turn very different.Just because

so many people around us and in our life's don't

either want to understand how we have good and bad

days.or they can't understand. Sort of like how people

act when some one has lost a love one due to death.

and in someways that is us. we have been dealt a deck

of cards that gave us life with out pain. the Sick not

Sick sceanario. I teach my EMT students that just

because people don't look sick does not mean they are

not. I use the analogly of a call I did on a man

having a heart attack, we arrived on the scene and

here was a 60 or so year old man who said he felt

faint and dizzy. My partner was getting vital signs

and history. No cardiac problems no big history. But

there was something I just had in my gut that there

was something more going on. In general for this type

sign and sympton call of course finger sticks are done

for sugar, an Iv started for possible dehydration and

transport, I had not been a paramedic critical care

medic very longbut something just told me attach the

cardiac monitor and pulse ox, just as that was done i

looked back and i swear the man's skin color was

green.

I looked at my monitor and saw that he went from a

perfect rythim to a heart block in just seconds.

sick not sick, .

My husband is learning this crap i have, I am thankful

in the aspect that he has epilepsy, he don't look sick

is what i told him recently, so neither do i. but i

can go 0 to 10 in a heartbeat, and poop too.

crohns , fibro, dengerative disk and joint disease,

hypertension, ect. none of them make me look sick. and

if i need to sathler on makeup we really don't look

sick.

Diane

--- Marti Boguski wrote:

> Hi Angie and Debra,

> It is amazing how few people there really are who

> care about others and what they are going through.

> Several years ago I had Leukemia (well I guess I

> still do, but it's in remission and I am fine) and

> went through two rounds of chemotherapy. I was

> still working at the time and really didn't get any

> sympathy at all, after the beginning well wishes.

> People there and everywhere, including my family,

> really did not want to know about it. I think

> people get scared of having cancer themselves and

> can't talk about it or something - the same happens

> with Fibromyalgia. There are also those who say

> they don't know what to say. (My mother says that's

> the way the cookie crumbles.)

> Now I'm starting chemo again next week for the

> bone cancer and the few people left that haven't

> already fallen out of my life because of Fibro don't

> want to talk about it. At least I'm not working

> now, so I don't have to look at the faces of the

> people I worked with like I did the other time.

> That was terrible. Seeing the uncaring faces look

> away really fast.

>

> I'm so sorry you are having to deal with the lack

> of compassion that so many people have.

> You certainly don't deserve it. I wish I could

> put you (and me and everyone else) in a place where

> people actually care what others are going through

> and where it's second nature to be compassionate.

> I'm glad I have the people on this site to talk to

> and glad that you have them too. Nothing's too bad

> to vent about here. I hope you feel better,

>

> Blessed be,

> Marti

>

> Angie wrote:

> Debra,

> I'm so sorry. This is what I have been saying about

> what I went through. People don't care. For the most

> part they look for anything to talk bad about you. I

> don't know what the hell happened to compassion, but

> it is sure hard to find anymore. I was so sick the

> last few months I was at work I didn't wear makeup

> anymore and my hair was in a ponytail most of the

> time because that way I didn't have to fuss with it.

>

> They all knew I had Lupus for 2 years and all they

> did was berate me behind my back. I'd drag in there

> looking so bad and being so sick and I still worked

> circles around them. So they badmouthed me because

> of that. Then they tell me to take it easy and not

> work so hard and then they'd badmouth me because I

> wasn't doing everyone's job anymore.

>

> The truth is that we start to believe that its

> because of our illness, but its not. It's the nature

> of the environment and unfortunately its very common

> today. We just become extra sensitive to it because

> we have something for them to sink their teeth into.

> When we are absent we aren't there to defend

> ourselves. However, if it wasn't our health it

> wouldn't make them stop. They would find something

> anyway.

>

> So try not to let it get to you like it did me. I

> was devastated by it. It damn near killed me; and it

> damn near killed at least 5 other people at my place

> of employment that I know of. People that did NOT

> have any chronic diseases. It DID kill one guy that

> I know of; at 38. ly, I wasn't even diagnosed

> with Lupus when I went to work there; and my blood

> pressure was normal without medication.

>

> The disease is hard enough to live with. The

> backbiting isn't because of your disease; its there

> anyway. You just worry about you and not what people

> are saying.

>

> Angie Harley Mama Double-D

> Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home),

> 2 dogs, 4 cats, snow skiing, camping, Harley Rider,

> Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong

> Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent,

> opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

>

> " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

>

> " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the

> only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether

> it is our spirit,our creativity, or our glorious

> uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner

>

> http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

> http://www.myspace.com/amkg

> http://doripost.agrato.info/

>

> http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

>

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

> http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg

>

> Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

>

> I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do

> down. I am so tired of pretending I am fine when I

> am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a marathon

> just going to work. They could not see under the

> makeup and the " cheerful attitude " that I felt like

> $hit. What is worse is they don't give a damn. I

> know it too.

>

> Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I

> remember the comments my supervisor has made to me

> about a sister in law of hers with FM. She depicted

> her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " ....

> what she does not understand is that this damn crap

> comes with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she

> had made a comment that " she did not work like you

> do " . And said " she is a prescription drug addict " .

> Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

> person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

>

> I also remember what the nurse that I work with said

> one day. When she told me about her friend who has

> fibro. She said she does not talk to that friend

> anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry

> for her " .. and made comments about her pain meds and

> how she can hardly stay awake. (It is probably from

> the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

>

> I am fed up with people just not believing this

> shit. It hurts me greatly. If I have larnyngitis or

> a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel so bad " . Then

> they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the

> fibro. I know that any comment I make about it

> probably makes them roll their eyes.

>

> I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know

> how much longer I can take the " don't give a shit "

> attitude of these people. I don't expect any special

> treatment, but I don't want to be considered an

> idiot either. And if I call in and say " I am sick...

> It is the fibro " .... they will just talk about me

> then the next time I come in NO ONE will even ask

> how I am.

>

> I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess

> what? They get me today without makeup. I don't

> care. Let them see how I look and feel every day of

> my life without me trying to hide it.

>

> love ya all,

>

> Debra V.

>

> ------------ --------- --------- ---

>

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with

> Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

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________________________________________________________________________________\

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February 7, 2008

Wow Marti, you have been dealt such a bad hand, I sure hope someone

starts dealing you some aces real soon. I am in awe of how strong you

are being. I don't think I could walk a mile in your shoes(not that I

can walk a mile,lol).

God Bless You

You are in my prayers

> Debra,

> I'm so sorry. This is what I have been saying about what I went

through. People don't care. For the most part they look for anything

to talk bad about you. I don't know what the hell happened to

compassion, but it is sure hard to find anymore. I was so sick the

last few months I was at work I didn't wear makeup anymore and my

hair was in a ponytail most of the time because that way I didn't

have to fuss with it.

>

> They all knew I had Lupus for 2 years and all they did was berate

me behind my back. I'd drag in there looking so bad and being so sick

and I still worked circles around them. So they badmouthed me because

of that. Then they tell me to take it easy and not work so hard and

then they'd badmouth me because I wasn't doing everyone's job

anymore.

>

> The truth is that we start to believe that its because of our

illness, but its not. It's the nature of the environment and

unfortunately its very common today. We just become extra sensitive

to it because we have something for them to sink their teeth into.

When we are absent we aren't there to defend ourselves. However, if

it wasn't our health it wouldn't make them stop. They would find

something anyway.

>

> So try not to let it get to you like it did me. I was devastated by

it. It damn near killed me; and it damn near killed at least 5 other

people at my place of employment that I know of. People that did NOT

have any chronic diseases. It DID kill one guy that I know of; at 38.

ly, I wasn't even diagnosed with Lupus when I went to work

there; and my blood pressure was normal without medication.

>

> The disease is hard enough to live with. The backbiting isn't

because of your disease; its there anyway. You just worry about you

and not what people are saying.

>

> Angie Harley Mama Double-D

> Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats,

snow skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong

Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent,

opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

>

> " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

>

> " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is

to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity,

or our glorious uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner

>

> http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

> http://www.myspace.com/amkg

> http://doripost.agrato.info/

>

> http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

> http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

> http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg

>

> Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

>

> I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired

of pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to

run a marathon just going to work. They could not see under the

makeup and the " cheerful attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is

worse is they don't give a damn. I know it too.

>

> Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the

comments my supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers

with FM. She depicted her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all

day " .... what she does not understand is that this damn crap comes

with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she had made a comment

that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is a prescription

drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

>

> I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When

she told me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not

talk to that friend anymore because " she just wants people to feel

sorry for her " .. and made comments about her pain meds and how she

can hardly stay awake. (It is probably from the damn fibro fog and

not her pain meds).

>

> I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me

greatly. If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you

feel so bad " . Then they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the

fibro. I know that any comment I make about it probably makes them

roll their eyes.

>

> I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much

longer I can take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I

don't expect any special treatment, but I don't want to be considered

an idiot either. And if I call in and say " I am sick... It is the

fibro " .... they will just talk about me then the next time I come in

NO ONE will even ask how I am.

>

> I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me

today without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel

every day of my life without me trying to hide it.

>

> love ya all,

>

> Debra V.

>

> ------------ --------- --------- ---

>

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

February 7, 2008

I'm sorry you have to deal with ignorant people.I hope things get better for you

@ work. Get this! I am the hypochondriac of my family!!!! Aint that nice! I

have FM,I don't think I have every illness in the world and my doctor diagnosed

me,NOT ME! GRRRRRRRRR!

debra van ness wrote: I

just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of