Ammends was Re: Oxford House: Govt Supported 12 Step Homes

[Guest guest]

Wow, thanks for showing that link, Judith! The writer gave his reasons for the essay, then gave some background, scenery. The first real point I saw was that nobody is required to grant the sanction of the victim. Those rape victims and battered women who first stood up and spoke up about their rights - those who FORCED the issue - have done a great service to every woman since (and men, too, indirectly, by causing them to behave more like men, less like animals). That until someone does stand up and force the issue, whatever form of victimization he is suffering from will remain in the dark. So, if we keep forcing our issues with AA, we will be heard, eventually, louder and louder.

Then the author quoted leggy pop music sensation Tina , "being with Ike was like being in a small cult."

I could picture myself in Ike's or Tina's place; either one made me feel like I was dispicable.

OK, so, I am man, not an animal. I don't want to abuse people - it's wrong to abuse people. I owe some ammends to some human beings I have harmed during my time in AA, don't I? I suppose that is one reason it is difficult to let go of the lies of XA (or anything else bad) - that by admitting I was wrong, I not only admit I believed wrong - that I was fooled, I must also admit I did wrong. I was a stepper. I was telling the same lies. I pushed those lies on others. I helped brainwash people. I helped perpetuate this monstrosity we call XA. Kinda like a Nazi or a KKK guy. I feel pissed about that. That I lost control of my faculties to the point that I was helping brainwash people for someone else's ends. I am glad I escaped, but sorry for the harm I caused. Though my part was miniscule in the whole scope of AA, I did do my part; I have to be responsible for that. I'd like to go to those people I used to know and say I am sorry I helped reinforce that bullshit in their head. But would that do any good? Wouldn't they just rebel? Isn't it the least I can do to help them get away, too? To help dismantle AA - to steal away its members? They might get mad, they might not listen, but eventullay that part inside them which seeks knowledge might give into the possibility that I am right - and they might start thinking for themselves again. Maybe I will make some ammends one day, after all.

Re: Oxford House: Govt Supported 12 Step Homes

> and what abuse of alcohol or drugs isnt ultimately and arguably > based on ones "own willful misconduct or abuse of alcohol or > drugs"? no one is forced agianst thier own will to smoke crack or > lift up that glass to their lips. I do think, though, that when people make some choices, they are not really aware on a conscious level that they have an alternative. Like a woman in an abusive relationship. She does not choose to be abused. She actually believes that the abuse is over, and is genuinely surprised when it happens again, or when it gets worse. In fact, there was a really good essay posted here by Apple that I downloaded way last February. It was written by Vaughn Young, "a former high-ranking Scientologist" who compared his induction into Scientology to a woman in an abusive relationship. /message/12-step-free/12775I'm not saying that people are not responsible for their behavior. however...I learned how to be direct and assertive as an adult. I did not learn it as a kid. I did not learn anything about boundaries as a kid--I learned to be obedient when authority figures were watching. That's not the same as being responsible.I guess this is meaningful to me because I can't point to obvious coercion in my 12 step experience; I wasn't threatened with loss of a job or jail. Yet I don't feel I entered treatment voluntarily. Some people I know were direct and assertive about saying no to treatment and that intrigues me. I think they were more responsible than me.judith