christi

[Guest guest]

i guess i have thought about it in the back of my mind. i don't know what is

holding me back from doing so. Fear i spose. maybe i am hoping for a miracle and

for him to change though i am not sure that is possible. he does not get that

what he is doing is controling, abusive, and plain mean. he says that it is

because he is trying to run a budget, make a living, etc and i am getting in the

way by spending money on herbs for my fibro. he has no choice. what does that

mean? it isn't like i spend bill money on them. they are planned every payday.

he cannot see that what happened with paypal and the bank, was not my doing and

that he is partly responsible. i don't understand why he can look at my faults

but not any of his. both need to change, not just one. anyhow ty for being there

and for the suggestions and prayers. Y'all are awesome friends. I am so blessed.

Christi Randall wrote: Have you considered going

to a womens shelter for help? He may not be physically abusing you, but he is

mentally and verbally abusing you. You know what this does to you, think of your

child. I was able to get out of a mentally/verbally abusive marriage 18 yrs ago.

Please consider at least calling an abused women help line and see what they can

do for you. They are there to help you. They can help you form a plan to leave

and can help with just about everything you will need. I have been praying for

you and will continue to do so. Please do not let the fibro be the reason you do

not get out. I would bet that once you can make the transition some of the

stress will decrease and some of your fibro pains will decrease also. Godd luck.

Christi Randall

www.singingwomenoftexas.com

Re: vent about hubby again~GRRR

I think you need to be talking to someone about what your options

are. Neda

> Hubby was back to his old tricks again last night. has not spoken

> more than " 2 word sentences " to me in days. All because Paypal took

> money out of his bank account to satisfy a negative balance due.

> You see a few months back he decided to get my paypal account

> closed, by telling them I did not have permission to use his debit

> card , which was untrue, so the account was closed. When he closed

> it, it left a negative balance and they have been after it ever

> since. He said that it was not his responsibility to pay it, so

> they just took it. well he decided when he saw they money gone from

> the bank account that I had made a purchase of some sort. {I wrote

> him a note explaining what happened} but he still blames me for the

> money gone. He started this mess by closing my account and leaving

> it with the negative balance. I use paypal for online purchases.

> Mostly herbs and vitamins for my fibro. I am allowed so much per

> payday. This charge added to what I already spent this payday.

> well anyhow, he yelled at me in front of Mel, called me names,

> would not listen to reason or any explaination. Cut me off from

> looking at the bank account, cut off the debit card I use and now I

> have to ask for money when I need something and I will recieve cash

> only. It is bad enough he closed our joint account last year and I

> have had to use his debit card since, but now he has gone too far.

> He also took out a 200$ withdrawal of cash out of this paycheck for

> something not to do with bills or necessity, but that is ok. this

> is all about control, abuse and his anger issues. I am the easy

> target. But having a conversation of finger pointing , name calling

> and threats of divorce, etc are non-productive. he is a " right-

> fighter " ,so I have no chance of winning even if I am right. This

> time it left me in tears, shaking and miserable. Oh and he also

> told me that my job is the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care,

> etc because I owe it to him because he supports the house with

> money. I already do this as much as I can, but with fibro I have my

> bad days too. TG is here to help me. She is an awesome

> daughter. Oh then he tell me How great of a hubby he is because he

> does this. yes it is awesome that he support us with money, but the

> rest of his bs is too much to deal with. wonders why he gets no

> cooperation on our part. Gee I wonder. We receive no love,

> kindness, friendship, compassion etc from him. what does he expect?

> Then he started in about not having intimate contact in years. Who

> would want to? He sleeps in the recliner at night, not in bed. Oh

> and as far as my health issues go, I was told that he could care

> less about it. I am so over this crap. I really am. It is affecting

> 's health and well being as well as my own. I will never

> beat this flare with this going on here. I need help. Please pray

> for us, if you believe in prayer. We need all we can get. Tysm for

> listening and as always feel free to make any suggestions you may

> have.

> Hugs,

>

>

> One of God's arrangements is that after winter there should come

> beautiful spring days. It happens every year and it happens in

> every life.

> Father ph (Submitted by LotusSong)

>

>