Re: 12 step free

[Guest guest]

Yes, I agree. I've been here since post 1 and left other list

becuase AA shit seeped in.

Pls don't quote AA garbage, except in small. necessary clips.

Pls no links to AA sites.

The 12 steps is toxic and I want it out of my life.

-G

> I thought when I joined this list I would see alot of posts

relating

> to how people got away from AA. Wether they indulge in

alternatives

> or just go at it on their own. After reading posts for the last

week

> or so it seems that AA is all everyone talks about. Why does

everyone

> continually quote AA literature? Maybe I misunderstood what this

list

> was all about.

[Guest guest]

> I thought when I joined this list I would see alot of posts

relating

> to how people got away from AA. Wether they indulge in

alternatives

> or just go at it on their own. After reading posts for the last

week

> or so it seems that AA is all everyone talks about. Why does

everyone

> continually quote AA literature? Maybe I misunderstood what this

list

> was all about.

No, you didn't misunderstand at all--if you want to know how folks

got away from AA and what they have done since, just ask. Over the

pat couple of years this list has " matured, " I guess you could say,

and a lot of the regular, longtime posters tend to be pretty involved

in deconstructing the Big Book and analyzing AA history. Don't let

it put you off--it's not unreasonable to ask for information, and it

helps keep things fresh around here!

As ar as my own story goes, i was in AA for 4-1/2 years, and have

been gone since about May of 1993. I did alright for the first year

in AA, but got progressively more disenchanted with it as time went

on. I was unable to " get " the religious aspects of it, and much of

what I heard seemed to be illogical or reduced to slogans. I would

have left a lot sooner, had I thought there was any alternative.

When I did leave, it was because my mental state was rapidly

declining, and I found that going to meetings only made things worse.

I bumped around for awhile, briefly trying SOS, Rational Recovery,

and a women's group based on the book " Many Roads, One Journey. "

None of them were what I was looking for. I read a lot of books

during the summer of 1993; the most eye-opening and ultimately

freeing of these was " The Truth About Addiction and Recovery " by

Stanton Peele. I had bought into the idea of alcoholism as

a " disease " , and Peele's book shattered that myth for me. After a

few more months, I felt confident enough to try drinking moderately;

seven years later I am still doing so.

The question of abstinence vs. moderation is one I don't try to

answer for anyone else--that is a personal choice, to be based on

your own circumstances, and neither is superior to the other, so long

as your own best interests are seved.

I had tried to find a new group after leaving AA, based on the idea

that I needed the support of a group to stay abstinent, but the fact

is this: I really needed to get a life and learn how to have social

contact with people who were healthy and good role models--not a

bunch of former drunks who kept talking about the same old stupid

behavior years after the fact. My way of meeting healthier people

was to take night classes; in fact, when I took my first post-AA

drink it was while I was on a weekend geology field trip, north of

San Francisco. Joining a group of people who liked doing things I

did might have been another way to do it, too. I reestablished some

old, pre-AA friendships, and decided to grow up, quit dwelling on

every way my parents screwed up, and try to have a healthy

relationship with my parents.

The hardest part of leaving AA was learning to accept full

responsibility for what I had done with my life, and learn to *deal*

with my problems rather than temporarily blot them out with booze. I

do see alcoholism as a behavioral problem, not a disease. I abused

drink, but not because I had the disease of alcoholism--I have

clinical depression, compounded by occasional bouts of anxiety, and

since I have opted not to take medication for it I have to find other

ways of dealing with it. While I may not have control over my moods,

I do have control over what I put into my body. If I don't want to

get drunk, I won't.

If you want to try any or all of the groups that are out there, go

for it--you might get something valuable out of the experience. I

ended up going it alone because I tend to be very much a loner,

anyway. I'd rather read books and write in my diary and have quiet

time to think things through, but a lot of people do better by

talking to others. You could combine different approaches, if you

like. The whole point, though, is that it should work for you, help

build you up, and bring you some real joy now and again.

I don't know if any of this helps, but if you have any questions,

ask...

Cheers,

.