Compassionate people are out there.

February 8, 2008

It is hard to find caring and compassionate people, but they are out there. I

would like to think I am one of those. I try to help others, even if it is just

lending an ear or making a suggestion. I am praying for all of y'all that are

having difficult times right now. I wish there was something more I could do to

help.

Hugs,

wrote:

Wow Marti, you have been dealt such a bad hand, I sure hope someone

starts dealing you some aces real soon. I am in awe of how strong you

are being. I don't think I could walk a mile in your shoes(not that I

can walk a mile,lol).

God Bless You

You are in my prayers

> Debra,

> I'm so sorry. This is what I have been saying about what I went

through. People don't care. For the most part they look for anything

to talk bad about you. I don't know what the hell happened to

compassion, but it is sure hard to find anymore. I was so sick the

last few months I was at work I didn't wear makeup anymore and my

hair was in a ponytail most of the time because that way I didn't

have to fuss with it.

>

> They all knew I had Lupus for 2 years and all they did was berate

me behind my back. I'd drag in there looking so bad and being so sick

and I still worked circles around them. So they badmouthed me because

of that. Then they tell me to take it easy and not work so hard and

then they'd badmouth me because I wasn't doing everyone's job

anymore.

>

> The truth is that we start to believe that its because of our

illness, but its not. It's the nature of the environment and

unfortunately its very common today. We just become extra sensitive

to it because we have something for them to sink their teeth into.

When we are absent we aren't there to defend ourselves. However, if

it wasn't our health it wouldn't make them stop. They would find

something anyway.

>

> So try not to let it get to you like it did me. I was devastated by

it. It damn near killed me; and it damn near killed at least 5 other

people at my place of employment that I know of. People that did NOT

have any chronic diseases. It DID kill one guy that I know of; at 38.

ly, I wasn't even diagnosed with Lupus when I went to work

there; and my blood pressure was normal without medication.

>

> The disease is hard enough to live with. The backbiting isn't

because of your disease; its there anyway. You just worry about you

and not what people are saying.

>

> Angie Harley Mama Double-D

> Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 4 cats,

snow skiing, camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong

Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers member, LFA Advocate, independent,

opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

>

> " It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

>

> " While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is

to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit,our creativity,

or our glorious uniqueness. " ~~~Gilda Radner

>

> http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

> http://www.myspace.com/amkg

> http://doripost.agrato.info/

>

> http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

> http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

> http://www.revolutionhealth.com/blogs/angiemg

>

> Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

>

> I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired

of pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to

run a marathon just going to work. They could not see under the

makeup and the " cheerful attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is

worse is they don't give a damn. I know it too.

>

> Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the

comments my supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers

with FM. She depicted her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all

day " .... what she does not understand is that this damn crap comes

with sleep disorders on top of it all. And she had made a comment

that " she did not work like you do " . And said " she is a prescription

drug addict " . Well, I am not able to freaken work. Damn it! Not a

person on earth gives a crap but the people here.

>

> I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When

she told me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not

talk to that friend anymore because " she just wants people to feel

sorry for her " .. and made comments about her pain meds and how she

can hardly stay awake. (It is probably from the damn fibro fog and

not her pain meds).

>

> I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me

greatly. If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you

feel so bad " . Then they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the

fibro. I know that any comment I make about it probably makes them

roll their eyes.

>

> I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much

longer I can take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I

don't expect any special treatment, but I don't want to be considered

an idiot either. And if I call in and say " I am sick... It is the

fibro " .... they will just talk about me then the next time I come in

NO ONE will even ask how I am.

>

> I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me

today without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel

every day of my life without me trying to hide it.

>

> love ya all,

>

> Debra V.

>

> ------------ --------- --------- ---

>

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>

February 9, 2008

At least I found out why I went into suicidal mode for 32 hours the scarest of

my life. When you mix endep with valium which Dr's do often it leads to chemical

exchange in the brain that turns the depression up x 100 fold. one minute I was

fine the next I was literally under the table crying and shaking thinking i was

going to die. thank g-d it is over and I hate these Dr's who just add one drug

to another without a care in the world.

Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

>