Guest guest Posted December 3, 2010 Report Share Posted December 3, 2010 MJ-That's it, in many ways, I do 'get it,' and right now, I'm finding I'd rather not. Sounds so counter intuitive doesn't it. I mean, we all want to 'get it.' That's the end goal right. So, why is 'getting it' making me so mad.I'm working on me time, but my oldest doesn't nap, and my youngest, sometimes naps and we went on vacation and I'm really struggling with getting my exercise going again, which is a great me time. I've been thinking, today about my post and I think what I've come to is this. My IE Voice and my Dieting Voice are too close to each other. When the IE Voice says, "You can have that, sure, but do you want it?" and the answer comes back, "Hmm, no, I'm not really hungry, I guess I won't eat that." There is another little voice, not the same but very close saying, "Yes, that was a very good choice, you don't need those calories or the fat, that's not healthy food." That voice, right there, the sneaky one who keeps whispering (like the devil on your shoulder) right underneath the IE voice is making me mad. I guess a large part of what I'm fighting is how to include the junk food that comes with the seasons, brings good memories to mind, in IE. Oh, I watched my step sister eat ice cream while we all ate a proper dinner at Disneyland, and you could do that, but I usually don't want ice cream instead of dinner and I don't want to set that example for my kids, although isn't IE the best example we could set. DawnTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, December 3, 2010 9:35:58 AMSubject: Re: Resenting IE Hello Dawn, I daycare my 3 year old grandson & so I know how frustrating it can be to have to be 'serving' all the time & it also seems like I don't get time for myself. I'm learning to take that time when he is napping & also this year he is at preschool so those 3 mornings I spend at the gym just taking good care of myself. My suggestion would be to ask yourself what would make you feel good in terms of your own needs. And when you figure it out, do it for yourself because you deserve it. It sounds to me like IE is starting to become a way of life for you & it is awesome that you have all that food still in the cupboards & freezer because "you didn't want it." I think that is the place we are all wanting to get to with becoming intuitive eaters. It sounds like maybe you just have to work on distinguishing which voices are coming from the "real" you & which ones are coming from "THE VOICE" that has been created for you by external sources - parents, friends, diets, media. I find that when I start listening to MY own internal "voice" I find out what my body REALLY wants, not what my mind (emotions) tell me I want. I think that the part of you that is getting "upset & resentful" about IE is yet another of those OTHER VOICES trying to get you to go back to being the way you were; to dealing with life by "using" food as a drug; to solving problems by digging into the ice cream. I remember Geneen saying on Oprah, "when we are truly hungry, we DON'T want cheesecake, we want something that will make our bodies feel good, something that will nourish us." Maybe all those 'treats' are going to waste because you are 'getting IT'. mj > > This is a vent, and ask for ideas post. > > I'm feeling frustrated with IE right now. > > For one, I have two small children, who are home with me most all the time still. The oldest is in preschool 3 mornings a week, but that's it. The only meal I have any peace at is dinner, and even that is small peace. Trying to eat peacefully and mindfully is difficult at best and with their ages, I can't not eat around them. I know, I do eat less when not constantly distracted and interrupted by them, and that often I eat more because of the stress a meal can be. But at the same time, I'm too close to the situation and don't know what to do about it. > > Secondly, I never get to eat what I want! Okay, that sounds like a crazy statement. Isn't part of IE allowing ourselves, giving ourselves permission to eat what we want. Well, I want ice cream and cookies and candy. I don't however want those items for breakfast, lunch or dinner. At those times of the day, I want the appropriate types of foods. Then, it turns out, most of my eating has been stress induced, not hunger, and it comes around, that I'm almost never hungry when I mentally want, or my taste-buds (still not my stomach,) wants the junk. Then I hear the voices in my head. I hear the diet voices, saying, "Oh the calories and the fat! horrors, tsk." and I even hear the IE voice saying, "you can have that if you want it, it is okay, but do you really want it?" Turns out the answer is usually no, I don't really want that. (I too have found I don't really like mochas, even though I used to drink many.) I'm starting to resent that gentle IE voice, because even though it's telling me I can have it, it also feels like it's telling me I can't because the answer is, I don't really want it, and that's part of IE learning that difference so I don't eat it, and I have wonderful yummy peppermint ice cream going bad in my freezer and it's December and I have all sorts of holiday goodies in my pantry, and they are going to rot there before I reach the 'right' hunger to eat them! > > So, anyone got any ideas? What's wrong here. I should be happy that I'm distinguishing better between my head, mouth and emotional hunger and my true stomach hunger. Instead, I'm getting upset and resentful. > > Dawn > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 3, 2010 Report Share Posted December 3, 2010 HI , I like the idea of having your own special little bowl that is just YOURS. nne on talks about doing something similar by going out & buying a very special plate, cutlery, placemat, glass that is just for ourselves. I like the idea of putting the sacredness into the act of eating. sounds very nourishing for the spirit. mj > > I think perhaps stress is keeping you bound up in a cycle with it. Yes, it is hard to eat peacefully with small children and it also is difficult to find the best level of matching hunger and meals around a busy or chaotic schedule. > > I see IE as a guide as are many of the mindful eating programs. They are not absolutes. They are not meant to cause frustration, only asking us to be aware by giving us lessons to practice and think about. So it is fabulous that you are aware that something is out of kilter for you and you seek an alternative. > > I love the idea of eating only when hungry. when I am alone, that works perfectly. But I have a traditional husband who wants his three meals a day. Since he prefers to eat at the table and have me there, it only makes sense for me to eat my meals with him. I have spent my 55 years on this earth eating 3 meals a day too. It’s natural for us and for me. What I have learned to do is eat small and pay attention to when the earliest moment there is to stop eating and feel fine about it, body and mind. This way of eating adjusted itself to me being truly hungry at meal times. So I can practice mindful eating as I eat, even if it just has to be under a more traditional structure. Otherwise, I would be stressed cooking and preparing meals so many times a day! > > I eat out of a very small bowl that holds only 1 cup of food at a time. This is my way of nourishing my body and providing a natural break to decide if I want more. The bowl is unique, I am the only one who eats from it, whatever I put in it, it is my gift of food to myself. It is a small ceremony for me to get out my bowl, fill it, see the food as delightful mixture of scents, textures and colours, eat from it, wash it by hand and set it aside. This “ceremony†pulls me away mentally from the constant distractions and helped me find a moment of peace when eating because it is MY bowl, MY moment. I have been able to eat with 4 squirming children with food flying over my head and still appreciate that whatever is in my bowl is mine to eat and my choice to enjoy. > > Just an idea. > > > > > From: Dawn Rittenbach > Sent: Thursday, December 02, 2010 8:54 PM > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Subject: Resenting IE > This is a vent, and ask for ideas post. > > I'm feeling frustrated with IE right now. > > For one, I have two small children, who are home with me most all the time still. The oldest is in preschool 3 mornings a week, but that's it. The only meal I have any peace at is dinner, and even that is small peace. Trying to eat peacefully and mindfully is difficult at best and with their ages, I can't not eat around them. I know, I do eat less when not constantly distracted and interrupted by them, and that often I eat more because of the stress a meal can be. But at the same time, I'm too close to the situation and don't know what to do about it. > > Secondly, I never get to eat what I want! Okay, that sounds like a crazy statement. Isn't part of IE allowing ourselves, giving ourselves permission to eat what we want. Well, I want ice cream and cookies and candy. I don't however want those items for breakfast, lunch or dinner. At those times of the day, I want the appropriate types of foods. Then, it turns out, most of my eating has been stress induced, not hunger, and it comes around, that I'm almost never hungry when I mentally want, or my taste-buds (still not my stomach,) wants the junk. Then I hear the voices in my head. I hear the diet voices, saying, " Oh the calories and the fat! horrors, tsk. " and I even hear the IE voice saying, " you can have that if you want it, it is okay, but do you really want it? " Turns out the answer is usually no, I don't really want that. (I too have found I don't really like mochas, even though I used to drink many.) I'm starting to resent that gentle IE voice, because even though it's telling me I can have it, it also feels like it's telling me I can't because the answer is, I don't really want it, and that's part of IE learning that difference so I don't eat it, and I have wonderful yummy peppermint ice cream going bad in my freezer and it's December and I have all sorts of holiday goodies in my pantry, and they are going to rot there before I reach the 'right' hunger to eat them! > > So, anyone got any ideas? What's wrong here. I should be happy that I'm distinguishing better between my head, mouth and emotional hunger and my true stomach hunger. Instead, I'm getting upset and resentful. > > Dawn > > > > ------------------------------------ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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