Re: Re: My lurking days are over.

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Thank you for your kinds words. I'm sorry as well for the loss of our dog two years ago.

I used to wish that being upset would take my appetite away but it never has. Now I think I'm glad it doesn't. I like that even when life is awful there's still the possibility of a nice meal.

April, I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I don't know when youlost him (and don't mean to pry--not asking, just commenting) but--it'ssuch a horrific loss. I can't think of anything worse--no matter howold he was, what the circumstances were, etc. We have one healthyson, and the thought of losing him is unthinkable.Also, regarding putting your beloved dog down on Christmas day--we alsohad to do the very same thing, two years ago, just a few days before NewYear's eve. It's as if it just happened, as each New Year's since thenhas been very painful. A beloved pet is a family member, in many waysalmost like a child. Our little dog was almost 17 (little dogs livelonger in general). I kept trying to rationalize that he'd lived out hislife, the time had come, blah, blah, blah-- I kept wishing that he wouldjust go in his sleep. But he didn't--just kept on suffering, so we hadto take over and put him out of his misery. I have a lump in my throatjust writing about it. It just is what it is.This type of thing--mourning--takes my appetite away completely--butonly for a very short time. Then the old behaviors kick right back in,even through tears.You're so correct--we have to be very compassionate with ourselves. Iguess we need to speak to ourselves internally as we would to a bestfriend who we are trying to comfort, regardless of the cause of thestress. For me, it's a matter of identifying that stress is present andcausing me to turn to food.I know that I would not tell my best friend to go eat a pint of Ben andJerry's if something miserable were happening in her life! (It doessound kind of funny, doesn't it?)>> Thanks, .>>> >>>>> April I'm so sorry you had to put your dog down. I have two 14 yrold> dogs that are declining in health. >>>> ____________________________________> To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Mon, January 3, 2011 12:28:35 PM> Subject: Re: My lurking days are over.>>> Hi, Jeanne.> Wow, what a lot to go through!> We had to put our beloved dog down on Christmas Day, and two dayslater> is the anniversary of my son's death, and I too had more feelingsthan I> could quite manage without food, especially in the presence of somany> sweets.> The answer to this that I'm trying to work with is this: we getback> by going very, very gently. Without any negative judgments abouthaving used> food emotionally. Understanding that we needed - and my still need -to do> that. Being very, very compassionate toward ourselves, noticing thatwe're> sad, or angry, or overwhelmed or whatever, with tremendously gentle> compassion. It seems when I do that I'm more likely to calm downenough to wait> until I'm hungry to eat.> April>>> >>>> Hi,>> Since others have had the courage to come forth, I think I need toalso> because I've been lurking in the shadows myself for several months.>> So much has happened since June that my head is spinning! My> mother-in-law almost died. We adopted two really wonderfulAustralian shepherds from> a local rescue organization (a highlight but we've never had rescue dogs!).> We had to foreclosure on a property we owned. We were the victimsof> identity theft. Prior to that my husband was thought to maybe havecancer> (he's okay). Of course, it didn't help when the holidays camebecause> Christmas Eve was the anniversary of my father's death! Sounds likesome awful> black comedy, doesn't it? But it really happened!>> I've gotten a bit off track, both with my eating and thinking, andwould> greatly appreciate some help or advice on how to turn it aroundplease!> I'm not totally out of control (binging), but eating way too much, mostly for> comfort, I guess! When you think or seem to be on a negative spiral,how> do you stop it and get back on track? Thanks!>> Happy New Year to you all!>> Best wishes,> Jeanne>------------------------------------