Re: To Lupy-- Make up and fibro To Marti and Melody

[Guest guest]

I understand Marti. Of course you have more to deal with having sarcoidosis. I

am so sorry sweetie.

Melody, I guess I don't want people to give me sympathy but I do want them to

believe me and understand this to some degree. I would like for them to at

least acknowledge it once in a while. I just think they don't believe I have

anything " that bad " . I look like crap almost all the time. I hate it. But if

I even mention a word about the fibro, most people just don't act like I said a

word.

I hate that too Marti.... when they ask if I am all better from something

else. It is like ...well they don't give a shit that I am here at work all the

time with this fibro and feel like crap but when I get something else or someone

around me gets a " virus " .... it is acknowledged. Like getting over some virus

that hung on for a few days makes me all better. They just don't realize what I

go through on a day to day basis. I don't expect anyone to change my job

description or make accomadations on my schedule because of it. I just want to

be believed.

Thanks,

love and hugs,

Debra V.

Marti Boguski wrote:

Dear Debra and Melody,

I do like it when someone asks how I'm feeling, just like you Debra. I know I

look terrible. I am so pale and it took a lot to make me paler since I'm already

blond, blue eyed and pale. Even when I wear make up I look just a smidge better.

It's not like I can wear anything dark enough to make me look a nice warm color.

It would look fake as could be. But I do put some on sometimes when I feel like

it. Then there's the Sarcoidosis that makes my eyes red and watery, which is so

attractive - not.

I too am healthy most of the time, except now when I have pneumonia complicated

by Sarcoidosis. I don't catch many colds or flus. So I don't like it when

someone acts like I'm sick and asks if I'm better or well yet. They know I have

fibro and it's a constant condition and it's like asking if any disabled person

is better or well.

Both of you take care,

Marti

Melody wrote:

Hubby's Mom was asking how I was feeling when he talked with her on

Christmas. That just made me feel funny. I hate sympathy, pity, or to

be looked at like I'm 'sick.' Because I'm not sick, I rarely get

viruses/bugs, I just hurt. I consider myself healthy but someone who

'deals with' fibro.

I told Jim that, I said " I don't want your Mom to think of me as sick "

he said I don't think she does, I think she was just wondering how you

were doing.

I'm queen of dismissing how I really feel though. If someone asks how I

feel, I'll say fine. I don't like to draw attention to 'it' because I

feel like I give 'it' power.

debra van ness wrote:

> I have the same problem with looking pale all the time. If I don't wear make

up I look like death warmed over. Of course no one says anything but I look like

crap most days even with make up.

> The thing that gets me is they know I have FM...... yet they never ackowledge

it or even ASK how I am feeling. They know I look like shit... yet they don't

believe that " fibro is that bad " . Go figure.

> hugs,

> Debra V.

>