No more hope/Sure there is

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

That was a good post.

I really like the part about looking at what is going on today rather than

worrying about a 5 year plan. No one knows what is going to happen in the next

5 years, with Fibromyalgia or anything else.

I'm concentrating right now on getting through today, with another doctor's

appt that I will take myself too (this is new to me, back to driving myself

around). Other than that I will try to do something in the kitchen today to

declutter a little. It I can get both of those things done I will be content.

Next I'm concentrating on getting everything I can ready to start chemo next

week. I will have someone staying here with me for 3 nights, either my daughter

or my cousin, and the bedroom for them is a mess. I hope to be able to

straighten it out some, but I'll do what I can and they will be OK with whatever

I cannot do.

Next is enduring the chemo for three days and the aftermath.

But the best thing is the weekend after that when my grandson Jack 6 (or sons

if the 3 year old Brady will come) comes to stay for 3 nights. So I'm planning

what to have in the house to eat for them and what we will do. We play a lot of

games and read books and watch movies, and do quiet things. My cousin will take

him to play with 6 for a while each day so I will get a chance to rest.

I love for him to come.

So my hope is just that I can get through something a minute at a time and

make it through so I can enjoy what's on the other side.

I try not to think about Fibromyalgia anymore than absolutely necessary

because thinking about it doesn't make it any better. I just deal with what

comes as well as I can at the moment.

Thanks for the post,

Marti

Zimmy wrote:

Melody,

I'm confused. Your experience is your own. Other people's

experience is their own. Why on earth would your hope, or

hopelessness, depend on the experience of others, whether or not a

majority? Why would you lose hope because someone else is worse now

than five years ago?

I'm sitting at the computer right now and my arms are going numb.

I'm not in terrible pain today, wasn't yesterday. Wednesday, I was.

That's *my* pain, and *my* experience. Not yours, not anybody else's.

Last summer, after my fourth major surgery in less than 2 years, I

was in a period constant flare and was getting pretty desperate. Now

I'm not in a period of constant flare. I have bad days, and not so

bad days, and some pretty darned good ones. My physical condition is

*so* much better than it was a few years ago, because I've taken

major steps to try to fix it. The fibro pain, when it comes, is just

as bad as it was in 1962. I seem to come back from flares more

quickly than I did several years ago.

In 2004, I was in terrible pain from degenerated knees, was super

morbidly obese, and suffering constant fibro pain. When I looked

ahead, all I could see was more of the same, and like you, I lost

hope. I looked around and found some. I worked very hard, had to

make some hard changes to my life, and things got better. The fibro

pain is still there, but other things are better. When I was such a

complete physical disaster, the weight of the fibro was much

heavier. Now that I'm in better physical condition, the fibro flares

are still as bad, but the times in between are better, which seem to

make the bad times more bearable, because I can see past the pain to

where it will let up.

I don't know what will happen in the next five years. I'd like to go

back to work. I also know that if and when I go back to work, the

intense work I've been doing on my physical condition will take a

back seat. That could lead to all kinds of bad problems. I could

also get hit by a truck or develop a disease. In the end, hopefully

not for about 30 years, I will die. Nobody gets out of this life alive.

Between you and me and the fencepost, I'd personally rather dwell on

the company I'm having on Sunday and what I have to do to get ready

for that, and my garden path that I'm making that I need to finish,

and what I want to eat for the next week. Not whether my fibro will

be better or worse in five years.

You have subscribed to a religious philosophy based on hope. There

are resources in that philosophy that you can latch onto right now.

I suggest that you start looking. Call someone, perhaps a

clergyperson, who might be able to give you comfort and some

references for hope. Use what you can from this group and don't get

bogged down in other people's bad experiences. It's possible to have

empathy and sympathy without taking another person's pain as your

own, or feeling like you have to somehow fix it.

In the immortal words of ette Goddard ( " The Women " , MGM, 1940),

" Chin up, dear - both of them " ;D ;D

Z

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[Guest guest]

Replies to and Marti - I adored everything you said and

thank you for your reply it means so much.

Marti, you are an inspiration to many, including me. You seem very

strong and wise. Thank you for your replies, encouragement and words.

Thinking of you!

Melody

Marti Boguski wrote:

> Hi ,

> That was a good post.

> I really like the part about looking at what is going on today rather than

worrying about a 5 year plan. No one knows what is going to happen in the next

5 years, with Fibromyalgia or anything else.

> I'm concentrating right now on getting through today, with another doctor's

appt that I will take myself too (this is new to me, back to driving myself

around). Other than that I will try to do something in the kitchen today to

declutter a little. It I can get both of those things done I will be content.

> Next I'm concentrating on getting everything I can ready to start chemo next

week. I will have someone staying here with me for 3 nights, either my daughter

or my cousin, and the bedroom for them is a mess. I hope to be able to

straighten it out some, but I'll do what I can and they will be OK with whatever

I cannot do.

> Next is enduring the chemo for three days and the aftermath.

> But the best thing is the weekend after that when my grandson Jack 6 (or

sons if the 3 year old Brady will come) comes to stay for 3 nights. So I'm

planning what to have in the house to eat for them and what we will do. We play

a lot of games and read books and watch movies, and do quiet things. My cousin

will take him to play with 6 for a while each day so I will get a

chance to rest. I love for him to come.

> So my hope is just that I can get through something a minute at a time and

make it through so I can enjoy what's on the other side.

> I try not to think about Fibromyalgia anymore than absolutely necessary

because thinking about it doesn't make it any better. I just deal with what

comes as well as I can at the moment.

>

> Thanks for the post,

> Marti

>