Re: I just could'nt resist

[Guest guest]

If you have the entire thing I would love to have it.

Thanks

XXXOOO to all

Larry

Baby Strange wrote:

>

> LOL! I have the complete text of this, somewhere. It was one of the

> first things I ever saved off the Web...<misty-eyed with nostalgia>

>

> I can find, and post, the entire thing, if you don't already have

> it. It still cracks me up, to this day.

>

> Cheers,

> .

>

>

> > " Today I made a Black Forest cake out of five pounds of cherries

> and a live

> > beaver, challenging the very definition of the word cake. I was very

> > pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but could not stay for

> > dessert. "

> >

> >

> > -- Jean- Sartre Cookbook,

> >

> >

> > Larry

>

[Guest guest]

LOL! I have the complete text of this, somewhere. It was one of the

first things I ever saved off the Web...<misty-eyed with nostalgia>

I can find, and post, the entire thing, if you don't already have

it. It still cracks me up, to this day.

Cheers,

.

> " Today I made a Black Forest cake out of five pounds of cherries

and a live

> beaver, challenging the very definition of the word cake. I was very

> pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but could not stay for

> dessert. "

>

>

> -- Jean- Sartre Cookbook,

>

>

> Larry

[Guest guest]

> If you have the entire thing I would love to have it.

> Thanks

> XXXOOO to all

>

> Larry

Okay, Larry, here goes!

Jean- Sartre Writes a Cookbook---

October 3 - Spoke with Camus today about my cookbook. Though he has

never actually eaten, he gave me much encouragement. I rushed home

immediately to begin work. How excited I am! I have begun my formula

for a Denver omelet.

October 4 - Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling

blocks. I keep creating omelets one after another, like soldiers

marching into the sea, but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone.

I want to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of

existence, and instead they taste like cheese. I look at them on the

plate, but they do not look back. Tried eating them with the lights

off. It did not help. Malraux suggested paprika.

October 6 - I have realized that the traditional omelet form (eggs

and cheese) is bourgeois. Today I tried making one out of cigarettes,

some coffee, and four tiny stones. I fed it to Malraux, who puked. I

am encouraged, but my journey is still long.

October 10 - I find myself trying ever more radical interpretations

of traditional dishes, in an effort to somehow express the void I

feel so acutely. Today I tried this recipe:

Tuna Casserole Ingredients: 1 large casserole dish Instructions:

Place the casserole dish in a cold oven. Place a chair facing the

oven and sit in it forever. Think about how hungry you are. When

night falls, do not turn on the light.

While a void is expressed in this recipe, I am struck by its

inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle. How can the eater

recognize that the food denied him is a tuna casserole and not some

other dish? I am becoming more and more frustrated.

October 25 - I have been forced to abandon the project of producing

an entire cookbook. Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by

itself, embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling

God, as well as providing the eater with at least one ingredient from

each of the four basic food groups. To this end, I purchased six

hundred pounds of foodstuffs from the corner grocery and locked

myself in the kitchen, refusing to admit anyone. After several weeks

of work, I produced a recipe calling for two eggs, half a cup of

flour, four tons of beef, and a leek. While this is a start, I am

afraid I still have much work ahead.

November 15 - Today I made a Black Forest gateau out of five pounds

of cherries and a live beaver, challenging the very definition of the

word gateau. I was very pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly,

but would not stay for dessert. Still, I feel that this may be my

most profound achievement yet, and have resolved to enter it in the

Betty Crocker Bake-Off.

November 30 - Today was the day of the Bake-Off. Alas, things did not

go as I had hoped. During the judging, the beaver became agitated and

bit Betty Crocker's wrist. The beaver's powerful jaws are capable of

felling blue spruce in less than ten minutes and proved, needless to

say, more than a match for the tender limbs of America's favorite

homemaker. I only got third place. Moreover, I am now the subject of

a rather nasty lawsuit.

December 1 - I have been gaining twenty-five pounds a week for two

months, and I am now experiencing light tides. It is stupid to be so

fat. My pain and ultimate solitude are still as authentic as they

were when I was thin, but seem to impress girls far less. From now

on, I will live on cigarettes and black coffee.