Re: Re: Body check

[Guest guest]

I agree totally too. I would judge those who I found attractive

because they were self-critical, not realizing that the self-

criticism wasn't related to actual appearance. A good friend, former

bulimic who is very thin, told me how hard it is for her to shop and

try on clothing because she feels so bad about herself. How sad!

And I was shocked...how could she, someone that others would find

gorgeous, think such a thing?

On another note, and excuse me if it offends, but this affects our

ability to have good intimacy with others too. If we're not

comfortable with our bodies, it's hard to relax in the bedroom or

have someone else look at us fondly. At least, in my experience and

in the experience of some friends I've spoken to about this. In

other words, it pays in EVERY realm of life to love one's body!!!

Ciao!

> You know, another insight that I had at some point in terms of body

> image which people's responses to this thread makes me think of is

> that not only do I feel both attractive and unattractive at certain

> times and that it is often unrelated to how I actually look, BUT I

> think at some point I realized that many/most women (in our

> culture, at least) feel unattractive, no matter what they look like.

>

> My best college friend was very good looking but she often

> complained about how fat she looked or whatever she didn't like

> about her appearance. A lot of the time I would kind of roll my

> eyes at this; after all I was very overweight, so didn't I have

> much more of a right than her to complain about my looks? But

> eventually I realized that it wasn't just me who had these

> feelings, which suggested that it might be something outside of

> myself or unrelated to reality that was making me have them.

> Instead of feeling isolated because I am so " different " from every

> other person because of my weight or whatever, I think I've reached

> a place where I feel like we're all in it together. That

> realization is a lot more powerful, I think.

>

> So it's good to hear responses from other people saying they've had

> some similar experiences.

>