Re: Eating out and with others

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

I ABSOLUTELY do feel the way you so aptly described. There's that rush that

comes when food and restaurants are mentioned. I have yet to turn down an offer

to go out. For myself, I would probably do better not going at all rather than

going and not ordering anything. Not sure I could follow through on that one! I

also lose focus when eat with others.

Another rush for me is when my husband says he is going out. This has

historically been my time to binge. My heart leaps with joy, though I am really

working on this and it has

diminished a bit.

You have lots of company here and I hope that as you are going through these

especially difficult times you will keep coming back to us and allow us to

support you. I am fortunate because I not only have you lovely people here but a

lovely, loving and supportive therapist who is also dealing with IE issues and

is helping me with all of this " stuff! " Bless her.

Take care,

Virginia

>

> Hi everyone!

>

> First of all, I want to say that I am so very grateful I found this forum.

You are all so sweet and helpful and insightful and I feel very fortunate to

have people who understand exactly what I am going through in terms of my

compulsive eating and especially people that are committed to changing the way

they approach food!

>

> I wanted to present the issue of eating out and eating with others. I find

this to be a HUGE struggle. I have always reacted to the question from my

husband )or anyone else for that matter), " Hey, Jen- you want to go out to eat

tonight? " with extreme excitement and enthusiasm. My heart lifts, my face

brightens, my mood lightens and I feel high. I've never needed illegal drugs

because food always makes me high! I also get this way in social situations

that involve eating.

>

> There have been occasions in which my husband will ask, " Do you want to go to

's Deli? " (or whatever) and I'm not hungry but I battle with myself about

how to respond. Should I just go and not eat while he eats? Should I go and

eat something small? Should I say " No. I'm not hungry " ? And turning down this

" opportunity " feels scary to me. Especially if it's a restaurant I really LOVE!

>

> Does anyone else experience this sort of thing?

>

> Jen

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Virginia and Jen,

I wonder if a way to handle this would be to plan ahead for going out to your favorite places? If you know that you're going out to someplace you love Sunday for brunch, for example, you can then plan your Saturday dinner to be one that won't be too heavy so that you'll be hungry in time for your special meal. I have a couple of restaurants that I love, and will mention days ahead of time to my husband that I want to go on a certain day. That way I get the fun anticipation of a nice meal out, and can plan to be hungry for it, too.

Spur of the moment things are harder, but sometimes they're negotiable. If you're not hungry when someone asks, how about saying "Could we wait a bit? I'd love to go, but am not quite hungry yet." I do this all the time with my friend Judy, who is my lunch buddy at work. We negotiate together when we'll have lunch, and if one is hungry and the other not, the hungry one will have a few crackers and tea to hold her over a bit.

I do like to eat out sometimes (mostly because I am getting sick of cooking and sick of the things I regularly cook, LOL!), but I'm also a cheap screw and a bit of a recluse, so often will suggest we just eat at home instead of going out, unless it's a place I really love. Even then, I don't think I get quite the thrill that you describe at the prospect of going out to eat.

Laurie

Re: Eating out and with others

Hi Jen,

I ABSOLUTELY do feel the way you so aptly described. There's that rush that comes when food and restaurants are mentioned. I have yet to turn down an offer to go out. For myself, I would probably do better not going at all rather than going and not ordering anything. Not sure I could follow through on that one! I also lose focus when eat with others.

Another rush for me is when my husband says he is going out. This has historically been my time to binge. My heart leaps with joy, though I am really working on this and it has

diminished a bit.

You have lots of company here and I hope that as you are going through these especially difficult times you will keep coming back to us and allow us to support you. I am fortunate because I not only have you lovely people here but a lovely, loving and supportive therapist who is also dealing with IE issues and is helping me with all of this "stuff!" Bless her.

Take care,

Virginia

>

> Hi everyone!

>

> First of all, I want to say that I am so very grateful I found this forum. You are all so sweet and helpful and insightful and I feel very fortunate to have people who understand exactly what I am going through in terms of my compulsive eating and especially people that are committed to changing the way they approach food!

>

> I wanted to present the issue of eating out and eating with others. I find this to be a HUGE struggle. I have always reacted to the question from my husband )or anyone else for that matter), "Hey, Jen- you want to go out to eat tonight?" with extreme excitement and enthusiasm. My heart lifts, my face brightens, my mood lightens and I feel high. I've never needed illegal drugs because food always makes me high! I also get this way in social situations that involve eating.

>

> There have been occasions in which my husband will ask, "Do you want to go to 's Deli?" (or whatever) and I'm not hungry but I battle with myself about how to respond. Should I just go and not eat while he eats? Should I go and eat something small? Should I say "No. I'm not hungry"? And turning down this "opportunity" feels scary to me. Especially if it's a restaurant I really LOVE!

>

> Does anyone else experience this sort of thing?

>

> Jen

>

[Guest guest]

Right now, I'd say I try to avoid restaurants more than anything, because I do

still have trouble stopping when satisfied and will eat a big restaurant

portion. But when I do go, (and I do often eat out with colleagues from work

more than is ideal, because it's still hard to urn down the invite), I'm working

to just not beat myself up if I eat more than I would like (which is pretty much

always). And I also try hard to then not eat as much for the rest of the day,

which is usually pretty easy to do because I end up fuller than I'd like to be

and often don't get hungry again for the rest of the day.

Josie

new post up @ www.artofintuitiveliving.blogspot.com

>

> Hi everyone!

>

> First of all, I want to say that I am so very grateful I found this forum.

You are all so sweet and helpful and insightful and I feel very fortunate to

have people who understand exactly what I am going through in terms of my

compulsive eating and especially people that are committed to changing the way

they approach food!

>

> I wanted to present the issue of eating out and eating with others. I find

this to be a HUGE struggle. I have always reacted to the question from my

husband )or anyone else for that matter), " Hey, Jen- you want to go out to eat

tonight? " with extreme excitement and enthusiasm. My heart lifts, my face

brightens, my mood lightens and I feel high. I've never needed illegal drugs

because food always makes me high! I also get this way in social situations

that involve eating.

>

> There have been occasions in which my husband will ask, " Do you want to go to

's Deli? " (or whatever) and I'm not hungry but I battle with myself about

how to respond. Should I just go and not eat while he eats? Should I go and

eat something small? Should I say " No. I'm not hungry " ? And turning down this

" opportunity " feels scary to me. Especially if it's a restaurant I really LOVE!

>

> Does anyone else experience this sort of thing?

>

> Jen

>