RE: Tired of pretending, anger, and tearsDera

[Guest guest]

You could have written that post for me today. Every other day has been

rain. Every other day I want to throw myself under a bus. Every day I have

two kitties that tell me they love me and need me.

Chronic pain is a bitch. No getting around that. I just wish they could do

something about it. I had a doctor tell me that he couldn't give me pain

meds because it would mask the problem. duh! There is no cure, so let's

mask the pain. It's ridiculous the logic they try to use on us. Most of us

a smart enough and have done enough research to know this. The last time a

doctor told me that I said, " Good bye and have a nice pain free life. " He

said I took him wrong. No. He was either going to treat me or not.

I hate doctors.

Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island

_____

From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

[mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Jeanne and

Dave

Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2008 3:14 PM

To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

Subject: Re: Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

I'm sorry you were so upset, Debra. I know it gets hard to just go on like

things are normal. I really wonder if you posted a letter at work it would

help people to understand you better. Or make up a small poster for the

work area that reads, " Debra has FM. She is not a drug addict or alcoholic.

Thanks for understanding. " I don't know. These are just what comes off the

top of my head.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Jeanne in WI

>I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

>pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a

>marathon just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the

> " cheerful attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't

>give a damn. I know it too.

> Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

> supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She

> depicted her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she

> does not understand is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on

> top of it all. And she had made a comment that " she did not work like you

> do " . And said " she is a prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able

> to freaken work. Damn it! Not a person on earth gives a crap but the

> people here.

> I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she

> told me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to

> that friend anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for

> her " .. and made comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay

> awake. (It is probably from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

>

> I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me

> greatly. If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel

> so bad " . Then they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro.

> I know that any comment I make about it probably makes them roll their

> eyes.

>

> I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I

> can take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect

> any special treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either.

> And if I call in and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just

> talk about me then the next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

>

> I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me

> today without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel

> every day of my life without me trying to hide it.

>

> love ya all,

> Debra V.

[Guest guest]

Hey Tigger,

Pain use to be my middle name. Now it is my first name. Last Sunday began the

10+++++pain. I had called in on Thursday for a refill for my vics. Needless to

say I didn't get them. The dr was off. On Mon she was at the hospital but called

me because I called about 5x. She ordered them and my husband picked them

up.There were only 30 and not the right dose. When I saw her Thursday she

ordered the correct dose and 90 for the month. By Thursday the pain was 8-10.

Now it is back up to 9-10++++. If it isn't doing any better by Monday I will

need to call her again. She couldn't do the stress test on my legs because the

pain is so bad.

How is the weather in your neck of the woods? Yesterday my husband called me to

tell me it was pouring out. He works in Middletown. The sun was shining here in

Newport. It is so crazy here. The ocean makes such a big difference.

My Nephew was just signed by Ashland University in Ohio to play football for

them next year. They had a big signing ceramony. He isn't 18 yet so his dad

also had to sign.

I still haven't gotten my court date yet and it was suppose to be in Jan or Feb.

I hope I hear soon.

JudyMer

---- Tigger wrote:

> You could have written that post for me today. Every other day has been

> rain. Every other day I want to throw myself under a bus. Every day I have

> two kitties that tell me they love me and need me.

>

>

>

> Chronic pain is a bitch. No getting around that. I just wish they could do

> something about it. I had a doctor tell me that he couldn't give me pain

> meds because it would mask the problem. duh! There is no cure, so let's

> mask the pain. It's ridiculous the logic they try to use on us. Most of us

> a smart enough and have done enough research to know this. The last time a

> doctor told me that I said, " Good bye and have a nice pain free life. " He

> said I took him wrong. No. He was either going to treat me or not.

>

>

>

> I hate doctors.

>

>

>

> Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

> [mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Jeanne and

> Dave

> Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2008 3:14 PM

> To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

> Subject: Re: Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

>

>

>

> I'm sorry you were so upset, Debra. I know it gets hard to just go on like

> things are normal. I really wonder if you posted a letter at work it would

> help people to understand you better. Or make up a small poster for the

> work area that reads, " Debra has FM. She is not a drug addict or alcoholic.

> Thanks for understanding. " I don't know. These are just what comes off the

> top of my head.

> I'll keep you in my prayers.

> Jeanne in WI

>

> >I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

> >pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a

> >marathon just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the

> > " cheerful attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't

> >give a damn. I know it too.

> > Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

> > supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She

> > depicted her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she

> > does not understand is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on

> > top of it all. And she had made a comment that " she did not work like you

> > do " . And said " she is a prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able

> > to freaken work. Damn it! Not a person on earth gives a crap but the

> > people here.

> > I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she

> > told me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to

> > that friend anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for

> > her " .. and made comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay

> > awake. (It is probably from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

> >

> > I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me

> > greatly. If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel

> > so bad " . Then they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro.

> > I know that any comment I make about it probably makes them roll their

> > eyes.

> >

> > I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I

> > can take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect

> > any special treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either.

> > And if I call in and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just

>

> > talk about me then the next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

> >

> > I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me

> > today without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel

> > every day of my life without me trying to hide it.

> >

> > love ya all,

> > Debra V.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Judy,

I'm so sorry you have such terrible pain and also such a hard time getting

relief from you meds because of your doctor.

I forgot that you live in Newport. I have a place there and went there every

summer for years. Now I have money problems and have to rent it out, but I at

least get to the beach some when my son will drive me. It's so beautiful there.

But I guess your husband in Middletown is having the rain that Tigger and I are.

I want sunshine. I don't know if you remember but I live in Connecticut and we

have about the same weather, except we get a little more snow.

I hope you feel better soon,

Marti

loveit1@... wrote:

Hey Tigger,

Pain use to be my middle name. Now it is my first name. Last Sunday began the

10+++++pain. I had called in on Thursday for a refill for my vics. Needless to

say I didn't get them. The dr was off. On Mon she was at the hospital but called

me because I called about 5x. She ordered them and my husband picked them

up.There were only 30 and not the right dose. When I saw her Thursday she

ordered the correct dose and 90 for the month. By Thursday the pain was 8-10.

Now it is back up to 9-10++++. If it isn't doing any better by Monday I will

need to call her again. She couldn't do the stress test on my legs because the

pain is so bad.

How is the weather in your neck of the woods? Yesterday my husband called me to

tell me it was pouring out. He works in Middletown. The sun was shining here in

Newport. It is so crazy here. The ocean makes such a big difference.

My Nephew was just signed by Ashland University in Ohio to play football for

them next year. They had a big signing ceramony. He isn't 18 yet so his dad also

had to sign.

I still haven't gotten my court date yet and it was suppose to be in Jan or Feb.

I hope I hear soon.

JudyMer

---- Tigger wrote:

> You could have written that post for me today. Every other day has been

> rain. Every other day I want to throw myself under a bus. Every day I have

> two kitties that tell me they love me and need me.

>

>

>

> Chronic pain is a bitch. No getting around that. I just wish they could do

> something about it. I had a doctor tell me that he couldn't give me pain

> meds because it would mask the problem. duh! There is no cure, so let's

> mask the pain. It's ridiculous the logic they try to use on us. Most of us

> a smart enough and have done enough research to know this. The last time a

> doctor told me that I said, " Good bye and have a nice pain free life. " He

> said I took him wrong. No. He was either going to treat me or not.

>

>

>

> I hate doctors.

>

>

>

> Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

> [mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Jeanne and

> Dave

> Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2008 3:14 PM

> To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

> Subject: Re: Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

>

>

>

> I'm sorry you were so upset, Debra. I know it gets hard to just go on like

> things are normal. I really wonder if you posted a letter at work it would

> help people to understand you better. Or make up a small poster for the

> work area that reads, " Debra has FM. She is not a drug addict or alcoholic.

> Thanks for understanding. " I don't know. These are just what comes off the

> top of my head.

> I'll keep you in my prayers.

> Jeanne in WI

>

> >I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

> >pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a

> >marathon just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the

> > " cheerful attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't

> >give a damn. I know it too.

> > Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

> > supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She

> > depicted her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she

> > does not understand is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on

> > top of it all. And she had made a comment that " she did not work like you

> > do " . And said " she is a prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able

> > to freaken work. Damn it! Not a person on earth gives a crap but the

> > people here.

> > I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she

> > told me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to

> > that friend anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for

> > her " .. and made comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay

> > awake. (It is probably from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

> >

> > I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me

> > greatly. If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel

> > so bad " . Then they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro.

> > I know that any comment I make about it probably makes them roll their

> > eyes.

> >

> > I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I

> > can take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect

> > any special treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either.

> > And if I call in and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just

>

> > talk about me then the next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

> >

> > I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me

> > today without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel

> > every day of my life without me trying to hide it.

> >

> > love ya all,

> > Debra V.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow Tigger, what a moron, huh? I'm so sorry he treated you like that,

you deserve better. I haven't had the best of luck with doctors either.

I have a long time friend who is a doctor and one time I was brave

enough to talk about fibro with him. He was one of " those " who said it

was all in our heads. Oh I was so upset because he used to be one of my

best friends! He said depression causes it. I told him I may have BEEN

depressed but I'm not now. But when I'm in a flare, I AM depressed.

The pain makes me depressed, not the depression causes me pain. He said

good point. And that was that. I haven't talked to him about it again.

All the other doctors I went to gave me various mood meds and I just

quit going to them. Isn't that just another way they are telling me

it's all in my head? They said I was depressed, or had anxiety, or

OCD! Or stressed. Generalized anxiety disorder was the last one. I

tried all the meds, and to no avail, they made me worse or sick or hives

or rapid heartbeat or fever, you name it, and they made my moods worse

which made the fibro worse.

Yeah I'm like you, don't like many doctors. I like my gyno and my

chiro, and my newest PCP is a'ight but I haven't talked with HIM yet

about fibro. If he tells me it's in my head then I have to stop going

to him and I'm not ready to do that just yet. He's nice. *knocks wood.*

Tigger wrote:

> You could have written that post for me today. Every other day has been

> rain. Every other day I want to throw myself under a bus. Every day I have

> two kitties that tell me they love me and need me.

>

>

>

> Chronic pain is a bitch. No getting around that. I just wish they could do

> something about it. I had a doctor tell me that he couldn't give me pain

> meds because it would mask the problem. duh! There is no cure, so let's

> mask the pain. It's ridiculous the logic they try to use on us. Most of us

> a smart enough and have done enough research to know this. The last time a

> doctor told me that I said, " Good bye and have a nice pain free life. " He

> said I took him wrong. No. He was either going to treat me or not.

>

>

>

> I hate doctors.

>

>

>

> Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

> [mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Jeanne and

> Dave

> Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2008 3:14 PM

> To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

> Subject: Re: Tired of pretending, anger, and tears

>

>

>

> I'm sorry you were so upset, Debra. I know it gets hard to just go on like

> things are normal. I really wonder if you posted a letter at work it would

> help people to understand you better. Or make up a small poster for the

> work area that reads, " Debra has FM. She is not a drug addict or alcoholic.

> Thanks for understanding. " I don't know. These are just what comes off the

> top of my head.

> I'll keep you in my prayers.

> Jeanne in WI

>

>

>> I just have to vent today. I am just feeling do down. I am so tired of

>> pretending I am fine when I am not. Yesterday was like trying to run a

>> marathon just going to work. They could not see under the makeup and the

>> " cheerful attitude " that I felt like $hit. What is worse is they don't

>> give a damn. I know it too.

>> Things come back to me when I feel this bad. I remember the comments my

>> supervisor has made to me about a sister in law of hers with FM. She

>> depicted her to me as lazy. She said " she slept all day " .... what she

>> does not understand is that this damn crap comes with sleep disorders on

>> top of it all. And she had made a comment that " she did not work like you

>> do " . And said " she is a prescription drug addict " . Well, I am not able

>> to freaken work. Damn it! Not a person on earth gives a crap but the

>> people here.

>> I also remember what the nurse that I work with said one day. When she

>> told me about her friend who has fibro. She said she does not talk to

>> that friend anymore because " she just wants people to feel sorry for

>> her " .. and made comments about her pain meds and how she can hardly stay

>> awake. (It is probably from the damn fibro fog and not her pain meds).

>>

>> I am fed up with people just not believing this shit. It hurts me

>> greatly. If I have larnyngitis or a cold, I get " oh, I can tell you feel

>> so bad " . Then they acknowledge that I am sick. But not with the fibro.

>> I know that any comment I make about it probably makes them roll their

>> eyes.

>>

>> I am angry, pissed, and so fed up. I just don't know how much longer I

>> can take the " don't give a shit " attitude of these people. I don't expect

>> any special treatment, but I don't want to be considered an idiot either.

>> And if I call in and say " I am sick... It is the fibro " .... they will just

>>

>

>

>> talk about me then the next time I come in NO ONE will even ask how I am.

>>

>> I am just so angry. Thanks for listening. Guess what? They get me

>> today without makeup. I don't care. Let them see how I look and feel

>> every day of my life without me trying to hide it.

>>

>> love ya all,

>> Debra V.

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>