RE: Sorry not participating - Painful and Emotional/Marti

February 5, 2008

Don't apologize for not being able to post. It puts unnecessary guilt on us

(I'm the queen of guilt). I'm not surprised how you feel. I'm not that far

away and I'm suffering with you. All I want to do is pull the blankets up

over my head, but I can't because I've got more appointments. I'm tired of

appointments. For that matter, I'm just plain tired.

I really hope that when the weather gets better that we can meet some day

for lunch. That would be nice.

Tigger (Ruth) in Rhode Island

_____

From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

[mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of Marti

Boguski

Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2008 10:15 AM

To: fibromyalgia_support_group

Subject: Sorry not participating - Painful and Emotional

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry I have not been an active member in this great group. I can stay

caught up for a little while and then the pain gets worse and emotionally

I'm a wreck and my eyes won't work and I give up. That doesn't make me a

very viable member of this site. I've been thinking about leaving because I

don't really participate enough but then I would be all alone and that

really scares me. I start chemo next week. I go in for some consultations

this week to set every thing up. I'm going to drive myself into Hartford,

which I haven't done in over a year and I'm really scared.

I'm so afraid I'll get there and spend a couple of hours and be too tired or

overcome with fibro fog I won't be able to drive back. I think it's just a

fear, but I know it used to happen when I drove to the mall. They are both

about 30 min away. My eyes do fine usually at a distance right now; it's the

close up reading that's become too hard to do. I not only can't read most of

the posts without some type of enlargement, I can't read magazines or books

either - and I love to read.

It's raining here. It snowed Sunday and some of Monday and now the temp has

gone up and it's just raining. I used to love the rain, but now it makes me

cold and achy and makes all my symptoms worse, including emotionally.

Well, that's me for now. I will keep trying to participate in the group if

that's OK. I would really be lost without you, but I will try hard to answer

posts too.

Thanks to you all for your thoughts and prayers as I enter yet another stage

in life - beating this bone cancer.

Blessed be, Marti

---------------------------------

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February 5, 2008

Hi Tigger,

I don't mean at all to put guilt on anyone. I'm sorry if that's what I'm

doing. I know you all suffer so much. Sometimes I just think you can " grin and

bear " it better than I can. Please don't feel guilty - queen or not. I see

that you and so many others post all the time when I just can't bring myself to

do it. I'm in awe of the rest of you. I know you are going through things as

bad or worse than I am. I don't mean to not validate that. It's just me. I

can't seem to keep up. I don't have any idea how the rest of you do it, but my

hat's off to you.

It would be fun to have lunch or something sometime. Maybe at Crystal Mall,

that's about 45 min from me; If I can get up the nerve. Maybe the trips to the

doctor and hospital will give me more courage if I can do them myself, without

my daughter taking me.

I'm sorry if I came across making it seem like I had more to deal with. That

was not my intent. I know you all have so much to deal with from fribro, cfs

and many other ailments. But you seem to handle it better than I do right now.

You all seem more brave and can reach out to others when I'm just wallowing. I

apologize if I hurt anyone.

Marti

Tigger wrote:

Don't apologize for not being able to post. It puts unnecessary guilt

on us