RE: What would YOU have done?

[Guest guest]

honestly, the only time we ever " eat " inside is when we're at the playplace. i

say " eat " cause what happens is that the kids run back and forth between the

food and playing. i don't make them sit down and eat first before they can play.

it just wouldn't happen. but really, most of the time, we end up packing up most

of the food when it's time to go and they finish it in the car. it's weird, but

kailey actually eats better in the car. maybe it's cause she's in her own seat

and she can't see or hear anyone else eating, i don't know.

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

Penny,

That's why I answered the way I did. I've noticed with that there

are things that he does just to get his own way, and then there are the

things he NEEDS to do. I don't know how to explain the difference, but I

know it when I see it. (Does that make sense?) If I thought for a second

he was just being a brat and wanting it just to want it, then no go. We'd

either sit anywhere, or leave. Maybe because he's younger, I'd feel more

comfortable asking them to move, I don't know.

ellen

RE: What would YOU have done?

>>>>>>>>

when it comes to things that does wants his own way with.

Lori

<<<<<<<<<

See, that's the thing...I don't think she does this stuff to " get her own

way " ...not this kind of thing anyhow...I really think she NEEDS the

order..

I dunno.

Penny

[Guest guest]

You are more then likly right because you know your daughter the best. But

it took me a long time to make it clear to that some times we have to

take things out of order because therre is just no way it can be done in

order.

Jacquie seems like a smart girl I think that it may take a long time but she

would understand in time. You just have to stay with it and she will under

stand.

But Penny you have to do what is best for you and Jacquie not what we think

should be done.

I do give you credit for waiting it out. I would have never been able to.

Lori

-- RE: What would YOU have done?

>>>>>>>>

when it comes to things that does wants his own way with.

Lori

<<<<<<<<<

See, that's the thing...I don't think she does this stuff to " get her own

way " ...not this kind of thing anyhow...I really think she NEEDS the order..

I dunno.

Penny

[Guest guest]

Sara I am sorry, I am not trying to cause a debate here. You are right and

from know I won't make any comments. I know that every child is different

and I do not tell people how to raise their children. I just tell how and

what I would do with mine.

And no I do not force anything on my child.

Lori

-- RE: What would YOU have done?

> I do not let do anything that is inapropate. And if he does

> he does get

> punished for it.

> Right know I am having a hard time with dumping his milk on

> his meals.

> I make him eat them even if they are soggy. This has been going on for 2

> weeks. Tonight was the first time he did not dump his milk.

Apparently is able to connect his actions with his punishments, and

remember that in future situations, and avoid the action that resulted in

the punishment. I am glad for you. It also sounds like he is able to

understand verbal instructions, as I am sure you are not physically forcing

the soggy food down his throat. Also his sensory integration must be fair,

at least orally, because he can tolerate eating that wet food.

Really, I am glad for you that is doing so well and that you have been

able to solve problems in this way.

But those are not skills all of our children have. Some of them are not

able to understand the link between actions and consequences. Some of them

have very poor receptive language. Some of them have profound sensory

issues that interfere with every aspect of their lives. I feel it is

important to remember that all of our children are very different people,

and important to respect that what works for one child would not work for

another.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>. This has been going on for 2

>weeks. Tonight was the first time he did not dump his milk.

>

>Lori

that's progress - nice work kyle! good for you sticking to your guns lori!

michelle mg

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[Guest guest]

yikes sara!! clearly i caused offense since it was my post you quoted. i

apologize if i upset or offended you - that certainly wasn't my intention.

i am not sure why you took it personally or in reference to michael - it was

actually a response to a post by penny. she had asked for our honest

opinions about what we would have done in a similar situation. that's what

i did. my way is not the best way. it is simply that - my way. i do

realise that our children and all children have limitations. unfortunately

this is an unescapable reality when you are raising a child with autism. i

stongly believe in challenging rowan's limitations. within reason.

i am sincerely sorry for upsetting you. again, this was not a personal

attack on you or anyone - just what i would do in the situation presented by

penny.

michelle mg

>

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[Guest guest]

I sympathize. I know the anxious feeling. Or at least I have seen it in the

boys. I think I would have given her the option of eating or leaving. :/ It

stinks!

Jacquie H

Re: What would YOU have done?

Ok. I would have just picked a booth and sat down and ate my lunch. I would

have told Greggory (as I am assuming that Greggory is more like Jacqui than

Alec) that sometimes we dont get what we want and that is just the way it

will have to be. He would probably get upset and tell me that he didnt want

to eat. And I would say fine, its your choice. He would whine and whimper

or maybe cry and possibly fit. But I would tell him to stop. Jeff would

throw away his food and I would roll my eyes. We would get up and leave.

Jacquie H

[Guest guest]

Lori

That's what I do too and I don't think I'm a bad mom any more than I think

you are.

Hugs

[Guest guest]

>

>

> Well, yes, you have to know your own kids. Putter has surprised me

with his

> flexibility sometimes and then other times, well, not.

>

> Salli

Yep, exactly!!!

I probably would have just taken the food home and eaten there. Then

if there was a fit, heat up the food later.

But I'm usually not as patient as I should be when it counts.

Kerri

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>

On the other hand, when we go to " nice " restaurants, his behavior is

wonderful. My friend Nat operates a country club retaurant and Boone is

quite the little gentleman there -- as long as we don't linger too long

after the meal is finished. Boone's been going to all types of restaurants

since he was small. He acts like a kid at kid retaurants and like a little

grown-up at grown-up restaurants.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Same here.

And when we go out to eat at a " nice " restaurant, Jacqui is expected to have

what we call " restaurant behavior " . We have taught her what that is, ie; no

burping, or standing on the seats, or yelling that other people's food is

" disgusting " , etc., etc.

This Mc's thing (I should say " food court " thing), was different.

This was pure anxiety over control of her surroundings.

Penny

[Guest guest]

Penny, I know you're asking the question about what you would have

done about your child, but I just want to point out that it is

acceptable to leave trash on a table so it will be cleaned by the

staff. I never get more upset than when you think a table LOOKS

clean till you sit down then find it hasn't been washed down. Many

restraunts will ask you to leave it so they know its been used to

clean. Mcs here rarely wash their tables off unless it looks

like it needs it. Now on the other hand, I also work part time at a

convenience store. People dump trash in the parking lot, leave their

wadded up lottery tickets thrown on the floor or on the counter,

they're slobs. I wanna come out from behind the counter and scream

at them DO YOU THINK I DON " T HAVE ENUF TO DO THAN PICK UP AFTER YOUR

ASS! lol. Sorry but it's really irritating.

.

> I took Jacqui to the Luxor this afternoon to buy tickets for dh to

see Star

> Wars II at the IMAX theater there...(bad news was tonite is the

last night,

> only show, 10:45pm)...needless to say, I didn't buy the tickets.

>

> They have an arcade there, but I REALLY wasn't up for that...It's

dark and

> loud and I just wasn't interested. I bribed Jacqui with something

from

> Mc's since she had been so patient.

>

> We got our food and headed for a table. She had her eye on a

particular one,

> and unfortunately someone sat at it before she could get to it.

*sigh*.

>

> She cried. She pouted. She got angry.

> I stayed VERY calm. I explained I just couldn't get up and ask

those people

> to leave their seats!

>

> She said " Can we wait? "

>

> Oh brother. Fine. So we sat at a different table and literally

WAITED until

> the people were done. We just sat there. She didn't eat. She just

kept

> glancing at the couple...I know if she were a little older and a

little more

> bold she would've gotten up and asked them when the heck they were

going to

> be done!

>

> Finally...they left. She got up and sat down. The couple had left

all of

> their trash on the table. THIS is quite unacceptable...Nothing can

be left

> from a previous meal on a table, ESPECIALLY if it's been eaten by

other

> people. So I had to clean up other people's trash.

>

> Nice.

>

> The rest of the afternoon was pretty much a bust too.

>

> So, what would YOU have done?

>

> Penny

>

> Generosity begins with our recognition of our debt to others. -

Master

> Hsing Yun

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, what would YOU have done?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Probably the same thing. Which is why we usually get

take out.

Tuna

=====

Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope

outlives them all. "

- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

______________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

We have never had this problem since we always eat at a McD's with a play

park.

Our problem at places with no play park is that Boone will run behind the

counter trying to operate the fascinating fast food machinery.

The result is that I drag him out kicking and screaming and everybody in the

place staring at me. I've learned my lesson about those kind of places. So,

it's playpark or the drive through for us. Boone knows to wait until we get

home to eat.

On the other hand, when we go to " nice " restaurants, his behavior is

wonderful. My friend Nat operates a country club retaurant and Boone is

quite the little gentleman there -- as long as we don't linger too long

after the meal is finished. Boone's been going to all types of restaurants

since he was small. He acts like a kid at kid retaurants and like a little

grown-up at grown-up restaurants.

It the rest of the places in the world (doctor's offices, hospitals,

schools, etc) where he goes totally nuts.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Boone will run behind the counter trying to operate

the fascinating fast food machinery. The result is

that I drag him out kicking and screaming and

everybody in the place staring at me.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

does this too. I have to be sooo careful with

him near any kind of cash register or computer. So we

do the drive too, it's just easier.

Tuna

=====

Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope

outlives them all. "

- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

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