Husband has BF'ing Problem

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I'm sending this out to two lists I'm on. I apologize if you get this more than

once. I'm just desperate for some personal experience and stories and helpful

support.

Let me give you some background. This email might end up a tiny bit long, but

please bear with me. I *really* need your feedback.

I was married before, and have three children. I breastfed all of them. The

first weaned (on her own) at 14 mths. The second weaned at 3 years when I got

pregnant with #3, and bf'ing HURT. The third was born with cleft birth defects

and I pumped round the clock and breastfed, both, for about 14 months.

I'm a retired LLL Leader, who has spent hours upon hours counseling nursing moms

on the LLL HotLLLine and in monthly groups. Plus, I'm an ex-midwife's apprentice

and certified childbirth educator, and doula-monitrice.

I know better than anyone what a wonderful bunch of benefits there are to

nursing a baby the way God intended!

I'm remarried now. Happier than I ever thought possible. We're expecting our

first baby together ... and s/he is due to arrive late January.

My husband is FOR breastfeeding, but has found numerous books which state

breastfeeding is a sexually stimulating thing, and is now turned off and

disgusted by it.

He's ALWAYS had a problem with extended nursing and once, when he found out I'd

nursed my second til she was three, wouldn't talk to me at all for a day. He was

that angry about it!

He's stated that he expects he'll be jealous of me and the baby (doesn't want to

hear there are SOOO many other " jobs " left for him to do!) and doesn't want to

" share " my breasts.

He's stated that he expects me to PUMP milk to feed the baby if we ever go

anywhere. Doesn't want me nursing in public... (I've nursed, in my experience

with my other three, everywhere from parks and church to restaurants and malls!

You name it! I'm feeding the baby not having sex!)

This has been a major set of issues for my husband and myself since finding out

I'm pregnant.

In a way, Steve is a breath of fresh air. He wants to be *so* involved with this

baby. That's something new and unusual to me. In my experience, I was always

left holding the bag (or in this case, the babies! LOL!) while the man went and

did his own thing -- after all kids are women's work.

Yet on the other hand... breastfeeding is more than just FEEDING. I'll need to

nurse to soothe and comfort as well. And in the first hours, days and weeks of

the baby's life outside the womb... the baby WILL be nursing a LOT.

Have any of you had husbands/mates with issues similar to my husband???

I want this to be a happy experience, not one riddled in upset.

Can some of you share what you did, how the postpartum was for you and your

mate, etc...?

Thanks!

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Mom to , 9; Rose, 6; Gaelin,3; and Baby ??? (due Jan 25, 00)

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