Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 1:07:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time, barbotto@... writes: << Why do we have these hang ups in the US. Is it the sexual thing or the disease thing? >> It doesn't relly weird me out...but I do have a concern... And my concern is be really simple and kind of silly. Thrush. I just got this crap cleared up (and it was NOT easy) and I'd just be concerned that the person who nursed my babe had thrush and would pass it back to him...and eventually me. BUT....I'd much rather have him nursed by someone else as opposed to starve OR be given a bottle of formula. ;-) ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 12:07:26 PM Central Daylight Time, barbotto@... writes: << Is it the sexual thing or the disease thing? >> For me anyway. It is a disease thing. I don't REALLY know where this person has been. Even if it is a close friend or family you NEVER REALLY know. What has gone on in there lives and I don't want to put my baby in any unneeded danger. Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 Wendi~ I didn't mean to insinuate that your friend should have been concerned. If it was a close friend of mine that had nursed Holden because he was hungry and I wasn't there...I would have no problems with it. I would be quite greatful. That was really kind of you to help your friend with eczema. I really like the idea of milk banks and would use from them if I had to, and hope to someday donate. As you said.......I'd rather my child have someone else's MM than Formula. ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 11:55:07 AM Pacific Daylight Time, naturebaby@... writes: << I really had no idea that this would upset people. It felt so natural to me. I didn't think that it would be better to let the baby scream at my feet. I would much rather let someone else nurse my baby than to give it formula. Just my opinion though. Wendi >> I agree Wendi, I would much rather have someone else nurse Lexi than give her formula, or have her cry! But as for ME, being able to nurse someone else's baby, it would depend alot on who's baby it was..... I don't know maybe I am weird, but it is because to ME, nursing is a very special thing, shared between me, and Lexi, and I am not sure how comfortable I would be, having another baby at my breast But Also, if it was say my nephew or someone I knew very closley, I would probably be able to do that, for the babies sake.... I guess, it is hard to say how I would feel until I am in that situation Just wanted to share..... Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 12:33:55 PM Pacific Daylight Time, Feb98@... writes: << For me anyway. It is a disease thing. I don't REALLY know where this person has been. Even if it is a close friend or family you NEVER REALLY know. What has gone on in there lives and I don't want to put my baby in any unneeded danger. Amy >> I am sorry but I have to say something here, WHAT kind of disease would you be worried about your baby getting?? The ONLY possible serious thing that would pass through BM would be HIV, and there has been studies saying that there is something in the BM that helps so the HIV does not bind to the cells But I could certainly understand if you KNEW someone had HIV, and did not want them to nurse you baby, I would feel the same But the rest of the possible diseases would not pass through to your baby except maybe a cold..... I am just not understanding why you would be worried about diseases Not trying to offend you or anything, just wondering Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 2:48:18 PM Central Daylight Time, MamaToLexi@... writes: << I am sorry but I have to say something here, WHAT kind of disease would you be worried about your baby getting?? >> I don't know what type of thing could happen but I am not a big chance taker and maybe if the situation were ever to come up it wouldn't bother me at all. But thinking about it It just doesn't feel safe to me. I even felt that when I was nursing my cousins baby. And I know I don't have anything. So maybe it is just an emotional thing. Maybe I don't want to think another mother could take care of as well as I could. (Or even better maybe) Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 I'm just wondering what would weird you out about nursing someone else's baby or having yours nursed by someone else. After all this is how babies and mothers survived for hundreds of years before the advent of artificial feeding methods. What was a wet nurse after all? I would much rather have my baby drink a living fluid, full of the proper amounts of nutrients, intended for the growth and nurture of her own species, and offered with love and sincere affection than something dead, made from a can, formulated in a laboratory by folks more interested in money than her well-being, synthesized from the milk of an entirely different species, and offered with indiffernce. Knowing what I know about the hazards of infant formula, I would hesitate to give it to a friend's baby much less my own. JMO In many other developed nations, women don't feel so inhibited about nursing other babies. Some other countries have much more successful milk banks than here in the US, so mothers don't ever have to offer their babies artifical baby milk. Why do we have these hang ups in the US. Is it the sexual thing or the disease thing? _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 1:10:43 PM Pacific Daylight Time, Feb98@... writes: << So maybe it is just an emotional thing. Maybe I don't want to think another mother could take care of as well as I could. (Or even better maybe) Amy >> Amy, I am SO glad I did not upset you with the way that came out.....LOL! Yes I agree with you there, it IS an emotional thing, as I have said in another post, and I would have to be very CLOSE to the mother of the baby for me to ever be able to nurse it. There is a bond that we have, with our babies, and I think it would feel strange having another child suckling at my breast, but if the baby was a good friends baby, and REALLY needed it, I would..... But I won't deny it would probably feel strange at first..... Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 1:13:11 PM Pacific Daylight Time, naturebaby@... writes: << Stacie, I don't want to be a wet nurse. LOL The two situations that I did this were very close friends. It felt wierd at first but wasn't really much different from nursing my own baby as I love that little guy a lot. >> LOL! Yes if it were a sitiuation like that, I would probably be able to do it, but it would probably feel rather odd at first too. I guess we never really know what we would do in a situation till it happens, but I know I would not be able to stand seeing a baby I love cry, KNOWING I had what it needed I felt like nursing my nephew when he was here in May, his mother had made him wean at 12 months, and he now cries himself to sleep, sometimes for over an hour in this little pitiful cry......it was SOOO SAD, and I KNEW had he still be nursing, he would nurse and go right to sleep in minutes, it was terribly sad for me to watch and I would have nursed him had they let me... Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 Barbara, I really had no idea that this would upset people. It felt so natural to me. I didn't think that it would be better to let the baby scream at my feet. I would much rather let someone else nurse my baby than to give it formula. Just my opinion though. Wendi Re: neat story responses I'm just wondering what would weird you out about nursing someone else's baby or having yours nursed by someone else. After all this is how babies and mothers survived for hundreds of years before the advent of artificial feeding methods. What was a wet nurse after all? I would much rather have my baby drink a living fluid, full of the proper amounts of nutrients, intended for the growth and nurture of her own species, and offered with love and sincere affection than something dead, made from a can, formulated in a laboratory by folks more interested in money than her well-being, synthesized from the milk of an entirely different species, and offered with indiffernce. Knowing what I know about the hazards of infant formula, I would hesitate to give it to a friend's baby much less my own. JMO In many other developed nations, women don't feel so inhibited about nursing other babies. Some other countries have much more successful milk banks than here in the US, so mothers don't ever have to offer their babies artifical baby milk. Why do we have these hang ups in the US. Is it the sexual thing or the disease thing? _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 , I can say for my story that I have NEVER had any case of thrush during either of my breastfeeding relationships. I am also not at all prone to yeast infections. I have no communicable diseases and am in very good health, don't do drugs and knew this person very well. Wendi Re: neat story responses From: Mygrdntool@... In a message dated 6/28/99 1:07:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time, barbotto@... writes: << Why do we have these hang ups in the US. Is it the sexual thing or the disease thing? >> It doesn't relly weird me out...but I do have a concern... And my concern is be really simple and kind of silly. Thrush. I just got this crap cleared up (and it was NOT easy) and I'd just be concerned that the person who nursed my babe had thrush and would pass it back to him...and eventually me. BUT....I'd much rather have him nursed by someone else as opposed to starve OR be given a bottle of formula. ;-) ~ --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 Stacie, I don't want to be a wet nurse. LOL The two situations that I did this were very close friends. It felt wierd at first but wasn't really much different from nursing my own baby as I love that little guy a lot. The other woman with the eczema, her baby would have nursed but she heard her mom's voice at the wrong time. All I wanted to do was help my friend's suffering, physical and mental. (she wasn't ready to wean.) I would do it again if the situation called for it but it isn't something I actively seek out. I definitely didn't think twice about posting it although apparently I should have. Wendi Re: neat story responses From: MamaToLexi@... In a message dated 6/28/99 11:55:07 AM Pacific Daylight Time, naturebaby@... writes: << I really had no idea that this would upset people. It felt so natural to me. I didn't think that it would be better to let the baby scream at my feet. I would much rather let someone else nurse my baby than to give it formula. Just my opinion though. Wendi >> I agree Wendi, I would much rather have someone else nurse Lexi than give her formula, or have her cry! But as for ME, being able to nurse someone else's baby, it would depend alot on who's baby it was..... I don't know maybe I am weird, but it is because to ME, nursing is a very special thing, shared between me, and Lexi, and I am not sure how comfortable I would be, having another baby at my breast But Also, if it was say my nephew or someone I knew very closley, I would probably be able to do that, for the babies sake.... I guess, it is hard to say how I would feel until I am in that situation Just wanted to share..... Stacie --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 1999 Report Share Posted June 28, 1999 In a message dated 6/28/99 9:21:47 PM Pacific Daylight Time, PhilsGal@... writes: << That is heartbreaking!!! How sad. Poor little guy. HUG him extra tight the next time you get to see him! : ) Love, Dana : ) >> Yes Dana, it was terribly hard on me, it made it even harder that they did not try to comfort him at all, they just let him lie there and cry.... I did ask them why they were not trying to get him to stop crying, rather than allow him to cry for an hour, till he went to sleep, still crying, all by himself. And I was rather taken back by thier response....it was " why he will still cry even if we are holding him, so what good will it do, we just end up not being able to get things done " SAY WHAT??!!!!!! This is your CHILD here we are talking about, and EVEN if he still cried, he would know his parents are there for him to comfort him....! I can't comprhend how could they just SIT there and let him cry himself to sleep like that, and NOT try to comfort him, by hugging him or something Even if he cried the whole time, he would still know his parents cared enough about him to try to help him...... It was SOOOOOO SAD for me, I at one point ended up crying for him, I feel so bad for him I had PREVIOUSLY considered having them become Lexi's godparents, or legal guardian if anything ever happened to Phil or I, they have an older son, who I think is VERY well behaved, and seems to be well adjusted, but now I also know WHY he is like that, they have DEMANDED it, and I could not even think of leaving my child or children in their care not anymore....... I am SOO Glad I did not do it....!! I will have to find someone else to have take on that responsibility, I could not bear to know MY baby would end up being treated like that...... I would REALLY be tossin in my grave......I would have to come back to haunt them.....LOL! Sorry, if you can't tell I have been rather upset about this, I thought they were " MY KIND OF PEOPLE " , that I would trust my kids with, and it is heartbreaking to me to find out otherwise, this is MY FAMILY..... Well enough on that Love, Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 29, 1999 Report Share Posted June 29, 1999 , You must be so proud. LOL You've really taught him well. Wendi Re: neat story responses My husband got an eye-opener this weekend. We went to a softball tourney here on base where lots of the players in his squadron were camping out in tents with their families near the softball field (it was an all-night tourney). At one point around 10 pm, the men's team played, and the co-ed team played immediately after them. For about a half hour, there were just about 4 adults to supervise maybe 15-20 kids, and only one adult was related to one of the kids. Stay with me here... this will relate! At one point when , my youngest, was visibly tired and too distracted by the surroundings to sleep, my hubby remarked about where all these children's parents were, sarcastically. The one other parent there commented that so-and-so's dad was on the field, and the mom was where ever. There was one little girl, adorable but mischievious, who was really causing trouble. He asked about her parents. Seems the mother is still in the US, and the father was playing both teams. Another little girl was screaming her head off in a playpen -- and her dad was the other parent. He was obviously stressed by the screaming, kept saying they were just tantrums, and would just shove a cold bottle at her and walk off. My hubby said at one point that I should pick her up and nurse her... I nearly lost it that that thought would ever occur to him. It just amazed me that he equated happy, contented babies with breastfeeding, and that he had learned that by breastfeeding our kids, we had avoided many tantrums, and had grown comfortable kids. He also learned that even though he isn't always ecstatic, he is happy. Most of his friends, it seems, are facing divorce, or live in families where children don't matter until they need to be seen. He learned this by my breastfeeding our younger two children -- he never had these thoughts outloud when we were formula feeding the first! --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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