Off fibro topic

[Guest guest]

I have spent much of my time the past week or so attempting to get

info on the condition of one of my friends who called me several

weeks to go to say that she is at end stage cancer. I had not

expected her to call and tell me that and I was so caught of guard

that I really don;t even remember what I actually said nor do I

remember all that she said to me about how much she had valued our

life long friendship, support and fun times. For the past week or

so, I have been calling other members of our grade school class whom

I have numbers for and asking if they have heard anything --- but

it's strange because we have decided that her only surviving sister

is at her home, I tried to talk to her husband yesterday and he was

his usual curt and rude self. I really had hoped that her sister

would answer the phone and that she might let me know so that all of

her friends from her childhood are thinking about her. And I was so

shocked when she called, that I didn't even think to send flowers ---

I know her garden had been one of her favorite activities --- and I

should have sent flowers that day. But it hit me on Tuesday that I

should send her some.

But I feel so ghoulish and crass because the only way for any of us

to know when she has left us is to check the obituaries in 2

different newspapers.

During one of our many conversation over the past year, when she knew

time was no longer on her side, she said she really wanted to make

one more trip --- she was single for years, had a nice salary, and

had travelled to between 60 and 70 countries --- ones some people

have never even heard of. But she had thought she might like to go

to the Grand Canyon and she had asked her husband to go with her!

This is another reason I did NOT want to talk to him yesterday --- he

told her HE did NOT want to go to the Grand Canyon but would go as

far as Las Vegas. (that was when I realized they are not that far

from each other!) She had never been to the Grand Canyon and after I

got off the phone, I thought about it and realize, I've never been

either and I either called her back or sent her an email saying that

I would be happy to make that trip with her --- and respecting her

desire for privacy, we could get separate rooms. She never answered

me about that.

But this week, I have decided that when it gets close to our

birthdays --- two Taurus Bulls, that I will fly to Las Vegas, see if

I can find a tour to the Grand Canyon and in memory of Kasey, leave

some rosemary -- the symbol of remembrance. But I have not been

reading any posts here because I have been in very depressed at

loosing someone who is so unlike my other friends and who has always

been someone with whom we could walk out of each others lives for

years at a time and then bump into each other and it was as if no

time had passed since we were last together. We did so many silly

things and had so much fun in the early 1970's until my ex-husband,

who had been a distant friend step over the line with her and

destroyed that relationship for more than 18 years. I don't mean to

get so upset, but it's as if there is no other place to spill this

pain of her loss!

Please pray for her that she will soon be pain free --- she has been

battling cancer since 1998!