Re: Attention Lurkers (this is a joke. No rudeness meant)

August 8, 2008

Being absent for your own death

This is reason enough for you to be absent. However, you are required to give us 2 weeks notice, so we can put you on NO MAIL or delete you from our membership list.*************This will serve as my 2 week notice of dying, however, it will not go into effect until the day of death. In this way loved ones will have at least 2 weeks of backed up mail to go through and should relieve any grieving, as they will be too busy cursing me under their breath. Replies and return mail may not be available for quiet some time. New postings will almost be out of the question. If nothing else, I'll do my best to haunt as many as possible so that there can at least be some new postings in regard to it.*sorry, I've missed my toilet break and I'm pissed. >> *This is a message to all the LURKERS that said, in their pre-approval> application, how MUCH they loved sharing!*> > * *> > > In General> > > > Before you go to your PC, to dress accordingly. You can be seen with> Google-EARTH, wherever you are!> > > > > Illness> > > > We will no longer accept excuses in regard to visits to your doctor. If> you made it to the doctor, you can make it to your PC, and participate in> the group.> > > > > Surgery> > > > Surgeries are forbidden. As long as you are a member of this group you need> all of your organs. You do not have the right to have anything removed. You> joined this group in complete condition and removal of anything from your> body is reason enough to have you removed.> > > > > Days-off> > > > Being absent for personal reasons is not acceptable.> > > > > > *Vacation*> > > > All members will go on vacation at the same time. Vacation days are:> Thanksgiving, Dec. 25, and Jan 1.> > > > > > *Being absent because of death in the family etc. *> > > > There is no reason for you not to at least send a stationery to the group. For> those friends, relatives or coworkers, who have passed on, you can't do> anything anyway.> > In this case, the unemployed, who do not belong to our group, can do the> honors.> > If your presence is required, the funeral must be held at night when other> members are sleeping.> > > > > Being absent for your own death> > > > This is reason enough for you to be absent. However, you are required to> give us 2 weeks notice, so we can put you on NO MAIL or delete you from our> membership list.> > > > > Using the Toilet> > > > Members are wasting too much time using the bathroom. In the future, visits> will be done alphabetically. Members, whose last name starts with A, will> begin using the facilities from 8:00 to 8:20. Those with the letter B from> 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. Those, who can't go at those times, will have to> wait until the next day.> > > > In case of emergency you can trade with one of the members, but only with> written permission from a moderator.> > > > In addition, there will be a 3 minute time period for the use of the> bathroom. Once the 3 minutes are up, you will hear a signal, will> automatically pull in the toilet paper, the door will open and your photo> will be taken.> > > > Should a member offend again, the photo will be made public, in the form of> a stationery,> > and will be shown to the group via YouTube.> > > > > Lunchtime> > > > Skinny members get 30 minutes for lunch so they can really eat a lot. For> normal members, 15 minutes is sufficient for a quickie snack. Heavier> members get 5 minutes. Just enough time to have a diet drink and a diet> pill.> > > > I would like to thank you for your understanding. We will do everything> possible to make your stay a pleasant one. Should you have any questions,> comments, concerns, complaints or moaning and groaning in general, please> direct them elsewhere. Our group can't be burdened with them.> > > > *Now post something!! *> > > > > > > > I hope you have sense enough to know this is a joke? Most of it ;-)> > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > "Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark."> Rabindranath Tagore> > Download Our Toolbar:> http://.OurOrganizationToolbar.com>

August 8, 2008

Liane sweetheart,

I thoroughly understand...

However...could some time be given for - not bathroom breaks - but SHOWER breaks, PLEASE.

is beginning to smell bad.

Thanks and love to you all,

On Fri, Aug 8, 2008 at 12:04 PM, Liane Legey <liane@...> wrote:

This is a message to all the LURKERS that said, in their pre-approval application, how MUCH they loved sharing!

In General

Before you go to your PC, to dress accordingly. You can be seen with Google-EARTH, wherever you are!

Illness

We will no longer accept excuses in regard to visits to your doctor. If you made it to the doctor, you can make it to your PC, and participate in the group.

Surgery

Surgeries are forbidden. As long as you are a member of this group you need all of your organs. You do not have the right to have anything removed. You joined this group in complete condition and removal of anything from your body is reason enough to have you removed.

Days-off

Being absent for personal reasons is not acceptable.

Vacation

All members will go on vacation at the same time. Vacation days are: Thanksgiving, Dec. 25, and Jan 1.

Being absent because of death in the family etc.

There is no reason for you not to at least send a stationery to the group. For those friends, relatives or coworkers, who have passed on, you can't do anything anyway.

In this case, the unemployed, who do not belong to our group, can do the honors.

If your presence is required, the funeral must be held at night when other members are sleeping.

Being absent for your own death

This is reason enough for you to be absent. However, you are required to give us 2 weeks notice, so we can put you on NO MAIL or delete you from our membership list.

Using the Toilet

Members are wasting too much time using the bathroom. In the future, visits will be done alphabetically. Members, whose last name starts with A, will begin using the facilities from 8:00 to 8:20. Those with the letter B from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. Those, who can't go at those times, will have to wait until the next day.

In case of emergency you can trade with one of the members, but only with written permission from a moderator.

In addition, there will be a 3 minute time period for the use of the bathroom. Once the 3 minutes are up, you will hear a signal, will automatically pull in the toilet paper, the door will open and your photo will be taken.

Should a member offend again, the photo will be made public, in the form of a stationery,

and will be shown to the group via YouTube.

Lunchtime

Skinny members get 30 minutes for lunch so they can really eat a lot. For normal members, 15 minutes is sufficient for a quickie snack. Heavier members get 5 minutes. Just enough time to have a diet drink and a diet pill.

I would like to thank you for your understanding. We will do everything possible to make your stay a pleasant one. Should you have any questions, comments, concerns, complaints or moaning and groaning in general, please direct them elsewhere. Our group can't be burdened with them.

Now post something!!

I hope you have sense enough to know this is a joke? Most of it ;-)

-- " Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. " Rabindranath Tagore

Download Our Toolbar:http://.OurOrganizationToolbar.com

August 8, 2008

I guess will have to take his showers at night when some members

are sleeping. But I don't think that fairs either. Why don't all the

members get to go to sleep at night

>

> Liane sweetheart,

>

> I thoroughly understand...

>

> However...could some time be given for - not bathroom breaks - but

SHOWER

> breaks, PLEASE.

>

> is beginning to smell bad.

>

> Thanks and love to you all,

>

> On Fri, Aug 8, 2008 at 12:04 PM, Liane Legey <liane@...>wrote:

>

> >

> > *This is a message to all the LURKERS that said, in their pre-approval

> > application, how MUCH they loved sharing!*

> >

> > * *

> >

> > In General

> >

> > Before you go to your PC, to dress accordingly. You can be seen with

> > Google-EARTH, wherever you are!

> >

> > Illness

> >

> > We will no longer accept excuses in regard to visits to your

doctor. If

> > you made it to the doctor, you can make it to your PC, and

participate in

> > the group.

> >

> > Surgery

> >

> > Surgeries are forbidden. As long as you are a member of this

group you

> > need all of your organs. You do not have the right to have

anything removed.

> > You joined this group in complete condition and removal of

anything from

> > your body is reason enough to have you removed.

> >

> > Days-off

> >

> > Being absent for personal reasons is not acceptable.

> >

> > *Vacation*

> >

> > All members will go on vacation at the same time. Vacation days are:

> > Thanksgiving, Dec. 25, and Jan 1.

> >

> > *Being absent because of death in the family etc. *

> >

> > There is no reason for you not to at least send a stationery to

the group.

> > For those friends, relatives or coworkers, who have passed on,

you can't

> > do anything anyway.

> >

> > In this case, the unemployed, who do not belong to our group, can

do the

> > honors.

> >

> > If your presence is required, the funeral must be held at night

when other

> > members are sleeping.

> >

> > Being absent for your own death

> >

> > This is reason enough for you to be absent. However, you are

required to

> > give us 2 weeks notice, so we can put you on NO MAIL or delete

you from

> > our membership list.

> >

> > Using the Toilet

> >

> > Members are wasting too much time using the bathroom. In the future,

> > visits will be done alphabetically. Members, whose last name

starts with A,

> > will begin using the facilities from 8:00 to 8:20. Those with the

letter B

> > from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. Those, who can't go at those times,

will have

> > to wait until the next day.

> >

> > In case of emergency you can trade with one of the members, but

only with

> > written permission from a moderator.

> >

> > In addition, there will be a 3 minute time period for the use of the

> > bathroom. Once the 3 minutes are up, you will hear a signal,

will

> > automatically pull in the toilet paper, the door will open and

your photo

> > will be taken.

> >

> > Should a member offend again, the photo will be made public, in

the form of

> > a stationery,

> >

> > and will be shown to the group via YouTube.

> >

> > Lunchtime

> >

> > Skinny members get 30 minutes for lunch so they can really eat a

lot. For

> > normal members, 15 minutes is sufficient for a quickie snack. Heavier

> > members get 5 minutes. Just enough time to have a diet drink and

a diet

> > pill.

> >

> > I would like to thank you for your understanding. We will do

everything

> > possible to make your stay a pleasant one. Should you have any

questions,

> > comments, concerns, complaints or moaning and groaning in general,

please

> > direct them elsewhere. Our group can't be burdened with them.

> >

> > *Now post something!! *

> >

> > I hope you have sense enough to know this is a joke? Most of it ;-)

> >

> > --

> > " Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. "

> > Rabindranath Tagore

> >

> > Download Our Toolbar:

> >

http://.OurOrganizationToolbar.com<http://.ourorga\

nizationtoolbar.com/>

> >

>

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Re: Attention Lurkers (this is a joke. No rudeness meant)

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