Guest guest Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Oh Jane, I just clicked SEND & realised I'd left you off....I just wanted to say I can hear that you're stressed right now with everything back up in the air with . The effort & consequences of moving her back home are no doubt at the back of your mind too (Or they are NOW 'cos I've just SPOKEN it...oooooh maybe I shoukd jusy=t keep my BIG MOUTH SHUT!) Now, I could just ERASE that comment BUT maybe it's better OUT than IN...yea it WILL be a hassle moving her back BUT it IS do-able you know that 'cos you & Eddy moved her in the first place! You all survived right! Have you become a tad used to a gentle degree of separation, has she...how will you all re-adjust.....I KNOW these questions...my eldest girl played Yo-Yo's at my place before finally finding her own life! She DID get a shock the last time she moved out because her old bedroom quickly became my soon-to-become 2nd hubby's study! Her 2 kids sleep over much more often than she does these days! It's a PROCESS for sure ain't it! Thinkin' of you, take HEART Jane...you[ve got a BIG one! in Oz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 Thank you, dear sweet ! We almost changed 's room but am glad we didn't. We are used to being apart and will get along together IF her dad, Eddie, will straighten up and let her make her own decisions. I am the one in the middle. Eddie is convinced that cannot make her own decisions and can't handle anything. I know she could if he would just leave her alone. & I have good times together. Today she rode with me to the dr appt and then I took her out to lunch. It was my kind of fun. Toodles! Jane UIP/IPF 12/1998 Dalton, Georgia aka pianolady_musicgirl >> > Oh Jane,> > I just clicked SEND & realised I'd left you off....I just> wanted to say I can hear that you're stressed right now with everything> back up in the air with . The effort & consequences of moving her> back home are no doubt at the back of your mind too (Or they are NOW> 'cos I've just SPOKEN it...oooooh maybe I shoukd jusy=t keep my BIG> MOUTH SHUT!)> > Now, I could just ERASE that comment BUT maybe it's better> OUT than IN...yea it WILL be a hassle moving her back BUT it IS do-able> you know that 'cos you & Eddy moved her in the first place! You all> survived right!> > Have you become a tad used to a gentle degree of separation,> has she...how will you all re-adjust.....I KNOW these questions...my> eldest girl played Yo-Yo's at my place before finally finding her own> life! She DID get a shock the last time she moved out because her old> bedroom quickly became my soon-to-become 2nd hubby's study!> > Her 2 kids sleep over much more often than she does these> days!> > It's a PROCESS for sure ain't it!> > Thinkin' of you, take HEART Jane...you[ve got a BIG one!> > in Oz> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 Ah HAH, Jane....Protective Daddy Syndrome......Janey is Piggy- in- the-Middle....haven't THEY got you squared up! Could it be that the time is coming for you to step OUT of the Ring????? Does have a local Counsellor who can help her frame what she needs to say to her Dad about her decisions? You know, I remember wondering what it would've been like to go through that phase of my daughter's lives WITH their dad still alive. I remember feeling very alone & responsible for being the only parent around to give advice & help out. My daughters used to laugh at me & say we'd probably all be arguing like fury 'cos we'd have to deal with BOTH parents hopes, fears & expectations! I used to wake up in the middle of the night & shake my fist at the ceiling saying : "You get back DOWN here you Bastard...leaving me with two teenagers ...it's NOT fair!" My 2nd hubby came along AFTER all that was over! Strength to you Mama Jane! in Oz > >> >> > Oh Jane,> >> > I just clicked SEND & realised I'd left you off....I just> > wanted to say I can hear that you're stressed right now with> everything> > back up in the air with . The effort & consequences of moving her> > back home are no doubt at the back of your mind too (Or they are NOW> > 'cos I've just SPOKEN it...oooooh maybe I shoukd jusy=t keep my BIG> > MOUTH SHUT!)> >> > Now, I could just ERASE that comment BUT maybe it's better> > OUT than IN...yea it WILL be a hassle moving her back BUT it IS> do-able> > you know that 'cos you & Eddy moved her in the first place! You all> > survived right!> >> > Have you become a tad used to a gentle degree of separation,> > has she...how will you all re-adjust.....I KNOW these questions...my> > eldest girl played Yo-Yo's at my place before finally finding her own> > life! She DID get a shock the last time she moved out because her old> > bedroom quickly became my soon-to-become 2nd hubby's study!> >> > Her 2 kids sleep over much more often than she does these> > days!> >> > It's a PROCESS for sure ain't it!> >> > Thinkin' of you, take HEART Jane...you[ve got a BIG one!> >> > in Oz> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 The counselor idea? I am going to look into that. We have a dear close friend who knows how to " get to " but the idea of telling her what to say to Him? That is the answer. Yes, I am jumping out quickly, . Toodles! Jane UIP/IPF 12/1998 Dalton, Georgia aka pianolady_musicgirl > > > > > > > > > Oh Jane, > > > > > > I just clicked SEND & realised I'd left you off....I just > > > wanted to say I can hear that you're stressed right now with > > everything > > > back up in the air with . The effort & consequences of moving > her > > > back home are no doubt at the back of your mind too (Or they are NOW > > > 'cos I've just SPOKEN it...oooooh maybe I shoukd jusy=t keep my BIG > > > MOUTH SHUT!) > > > > > > Now, I could just ERASE that comment BUT maybe it's better > > > OUT than IN...yea it WILL be a hassle moving her back BUT it IS > > do-able > > > you know that 'cos you & Eddy moved her in the first place! You all > > > survived right! > > > > > > Have you become a tad used to a gentle degree of separation, > > > has she...how will you all re-adjust.....I KNOW these questions...my > > > eldest girl played Yo-Yo's at my place before finally finding her > own > > > life! She DID get a shock the last time she moved out because her > old > > > bedroom quickly became my soon-to-become 2nd hubby's study! > > > > > > Her 2 kids sleep over much more often than she does these > > > days! > > > > > > It's a PROCESS for sure ain't it! > > > > > > Thinkin' of you, take HEART Jane...you[ve got a BIG one! > > > > > > in Oz > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2008 Report Share Posted April 22, 2008 Well Jane, NOT so much TELLING HER what to say to HIM ......more along the idea of helping her work out what words SHE could choose so that what SHE WANTS to SAY comes out in a way that her DAD can HEAR her without going in to over-protective, reactive mode! The WAY we choose to state our message can make all the difference in how it is received by the listener! WORDS can be pre-loaded to get a positive OR negative response! Within Families every conversation has an unconscious ARCHIVE of previous conversations & memories about the outcome! Good Luck to ! GIO PS She may also need some help with planning out ACTIONS to SHOW her Dad that she IS capable of doin' stuff for herself. Maybe list problems she's had that she's solved by herself BEFORE she's even told either of you about them. Maybe she could consider going to her counsellor (whne she gets one!) about problems in the future & then the Counsellor can help her map out a way for her to solve them so that she doesn't have to always get help from her parents. Lots of good reasons for her to reach out to someone a little more removed from family. It's all part of becoming an adult!> > > >> > > >> > > > Oh Jane,> > > >> > > > I just clicked SEND & realised I'd left you off....I just> > > > wanted to say I can hear that you're stressed right now with> > > everything> > > > back up in the air with . The effort & consequences of moving> > her> > > > back home are no doubt at the back of your mind too (Or they are> NOW> > > > 'cos I've just SPOKEN it...oooooh maybe I shoukd jusy=t keep my> BIG> > > > MOUTH SHUT!)> > > >> > > > Now, I could just ERASE that comment BUT maybe it's better> > > > OUT than IN...yea it WILL be a hassle moving her back BUT it IS> > > do-able> > > > you know that 'cos you & Eddy moved her in the first place! You> all> > > > survived right!> > > >> > > > Have you become a tad used to a gentle degree of separation,> > > > has she...how will you all re-adjust.....I KNOW these> questions...my> > > > eldest girl played Yo-Yo's at my place before finally finding her> > own> > > > life! She DID get a shock the last time she moved out because her> > old> > > > bedroom quickly became my soon-to-become 2nd hubby's study!> > > >> > > > Her 2 kids sleep over much more often than she does these> > > > days!> > > >> > > > It's a PROCESS for sure ain't it!> > > >> > > > Thinkin' of you, take HEART Jane...you[ve got a BIG one!> > > >> > > > in Oz> > > >> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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