Fwd: Southern Humor / todays funny

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Subject: Southern Humor Tennessee The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?' The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Eve rything but my earrings.'  Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. 'Whar's Henry?' the others asked. 'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the successful hunter replied. 'You left Henry laying out thar and carried the deer back?' they axed. 'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one's goin' to steal Henry!'       Texas   The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into a ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head". "Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.Louisiana A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.' When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.  Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole yore pickup truck from the parking lot!'Bubba replied, 'Did you see who was it?' The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license tag number.' Georgia A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, 'Got any I. D.?' The driver replied, 'Bout whut?' North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back into the car. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. 'I have a flat tar.' The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'  The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  Hey, hit don't make no sense to me neither.'  And this from South Carolina    'You can say what you want to about the South, but I ain't never heard of nobody wanting to retire to the North! No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG. Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.9/1365 - Release Date: 4/8/2008 7:30 AM

[Guest guest]

Hey, I got some of those

I like the Georgia one

Love Ze xx>> > Subject: Southern Humor> > Tennessee> > The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so > he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called > her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of > Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus > 14%, how much would you take off?'> > The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Eve rything but my > earrings.'> > Alabama> > A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos > for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, > staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. 'Whar's Henry?' > the others asked.> > 'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the > trail,' the successful hunter replied.> > 'You left Henry laying out thar and carried the deer back?' they axed.> > 'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one's goin' to > steal Henry!'> > > > Texas> > The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his > pick-up into a ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage > in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head". "Yep", > he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine For > Dumping Garbage'.> > Louisiana> > A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world > comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.' When asked why, he replied he'd > rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 > years later than in the rest of the civilized world.> > Mississippi> > The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said > to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole yore pickup truck from the > parking lot!'> > Bubba replied, 'Did you see who was it?'> > The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license tag > number.'> > > Georgia> > A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper > asked, 'Got any I. D.?'> > The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'> > > > North Carolina> > A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of > the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the > car and one behind it.> > Then he got back into the car. A passerby studied the scene as he > drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked > the fellow what the problem was.> > 'I have a flat tar.'> > The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'> > The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares > in the front and flares in the back. Hey, hit don't make no sense to > me neither.'> > And this from South Carolina> > 'You can say what you want to about the South, but I ain't never > heard of nobody wanting to retire to the North!> > > > No virus found in this incoming message.> Checked by AVG.> Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.22.9/1365 - Release Date: > 4/8/2008 7:30 AM>