Re: SHER, I lOVE YOU.....................................SHARING TIME For May too

[Guest guest]

Lou....I have read your post but I have an appt to get a hair cut and must leave. I will answer when I get back.

I'm so glad to see you 'get it out' and I'm sure you did not offend anyone! Certainly not me.

Later..............

Mama-Sher, age 69.IPF 3/06, NSIP 4/08 OR. Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!

SHER, I lOVE YOU.....................................SHARING TIME For May too

My heart aches for you Sher, I know you are hurting as I have "AND" am and probably will for the rest of my life.First of all, I do hope and pray that your son will make it. Second of all, I have a son who is 53 years old. I have mentioned to May that someday I would tell her all about the horrific continuous ache in my heart because of my son's choices. That is what they are, choices, right? Doesn't mean as parents we approve, but we still love him, but you know what? The respect is gone forever, and I mean forever. When my son found out I had breast cancer in 1981, he left me high and dry, he disappeared from our lives (I was going through a divorce) (he was 26 and had just gotten out of the Air Force) 4 year service. I was an Air Force wife for over 20 years in my first marriage. My son blamed us for divorcing and he couldn't handle it, couldn't handle my cancer and did not want to accept the facts of life. I put in a year of chemo and couldn't find him. Day after I got home from the hospital from the cancer surgery, he called me and said he never wanted to see me again, and to never try to find him. Well, let me tell you, he did a good job as it took me 10 years to find him, I did not know if he was dead or alive or had committed suicide. (I have never shared this with anyone outside my immediate family). You guys are a first in this dept. Anyhow, maybe I need to vent a little. I cried myself to sleep every single night for 10 years, the divorce which I wasn't expecting and the loss of my son, yes I lost him forever, dead or alive, I did not know. I prayed and prayed for years, looking at the tv, wanted posters, you name it, on the streets, in the news, etc. on and on and on. I can not divulge how I finally found him, but I did, I had the police departments in every city on the west coast trying to find him. One day I got a call from the police dept in Woodland CA telling me they had located my son and that he was to call me as they thought my cancer had returned and I was going to die and I did not want to die before I saw him once more. That is pure love for your son, no matter what he did or didn't do, it is a mother's love which is unconditional forever. I got a call on my answering machine one night when I got home from work and it was him. He had moved in with some girl and said he was teaching her to become a porn star. omg!@!!!!I paid for a bus trip for him to come to SD as that is where we were living then, Sioux Falls. Earl was with me as I had already remarried. My son looked like an old man. He tried to make love to me when he came home from the service one night and he is a sick man. I told him I was devastated that he would try that. His father had left, and he prob. was trying to fill his shoes. yeah right! I think my son is a sex addict and always has been. I hate telling this, maybe I should stop.To cut off some years here, he disappeared again to the Northwest, Oregon, and again for another 10 years didn't know if he was dead or alive, no phone, no address, nothing. heartbreaker. Then 2 years ago, he called one day and said he was moving to Richmond, VA, he came here on the bus and 2 shirts, 1 pr. slacks and holes in socks and a sad sad heart. God is Good!!!! A day I thought I would never see again, all those years of praying paid off. Only in God's time and His will, will things happen if it is meant to. He stayed at my daughters home and found a job here in Richmond. Then last Aug, he came to me one day and said, will I take him to the bus station tomorrow, as he was moving to Missoula MT. This is just before I went on the Oxygen. He knew I was going to be sick and need help, so off he goes, and I still don't hear from him. I know his address in Missoula but i Respect his privacy. He needs a good kick in the ...Anyhow, I still pray for him, but I don't cry anymore, no more tears for my son, but I still love him, no respect, and you CAN seperate them. He is very sick and I can not help him anymore. He made our lives here a living hell while he was here and my daughter and I were afraid of him. He loves guns. So I think I am happy for him at last in my heart and that he is not here with our family. I think he is a very private person and a quiet soul. When he was a baby and a young child, our whole family was a very close one. My husband then, Italian/Irish, and mine, PA Dutch/german/French.Nuff for now. Sorry if I offended anyone, but apparently this was the time in my long long life that I need you the most, friends of mine.Love, Lou

[Guest guest]

Lou

It's a very tragic story and I guess the one thing we all have to remind

ourselves is ultimately we can't control how anyone else feels or what

they do. All we can control is ourselves and how we let things affect

us. We either surrender and give up or keep going and move forward.

Sometimes we find strength we didn't know was there. The worst thing for

a parent, a spouse, a child, a friend, is not being able to help. Yet,

sometimes we just can't. People, all sons and daughters of someone,

destroy their own lives. We suffer the pain of watching but we have to

make sure they don't destroy ours too. Glad you felt you could bare your

soul here.

>

> My heart aches for you Sher, I know you are hurting as I have " AND "

> am and probably will for the rest of my life.

>

> First of all, I do hope and pray that your son will make it. Second

> of all, I have a son who is 53 years old. I have mentioned to May

> that someday I would tell her all about the horrific continuous ache

> in my heart because of my son's choices. That is what they are,

> choices, right? Doesn't mean as parents we approve, but we still

> love him, but you know what? The respect is gone forever, and I mean

> forever. When my son found out I had breast cancer in 1981, he left

> me high and dry, he disappeared from our lives (I was going through a

> divorce) (he was 26 and had just gotten out of the Air Force) 4 year

> service. I was an Air Force wife for over 20 years in my first

> marriage. My son blamed us for divorcing and he couldn't handle it,

> couldn't handle my cancer and did not want to accept the facts of

> life. I put in a year of chemo and couldn't find him. Day after I

> got home from the hospital from the cancer surgery, he called me and

> said he never wanted to see me again, and to never try to find him.

> Well, let me tell you, he did a good job as it took me 10 years to

> find him, I did not know if he was dead or alive or had committed

> suicide. (I have never shared this with anyone outside my immediate

> family). You guys are a first in this dept. Anyhow, maybe I need to

> vent a little. I cried myself to sleep every single night for 10

> years, the divorce which I wasn't expecting and the loss of my son,

> yes I lost him forever, dead or alive, I did not know. I prayed and

> prayed for years, looking at the tv, wanted posters, you name it, on

> the streets, in the news, etc. on and on and on. I can not divulge

> how I finally found him, but I did, I had the police departments in

> every city on the west coast trying to find him. One day I got a

> call from the police dept in Woodland CA telling me they had located

> my son and that he was to call me as they thought my cancer had

> returned and I was going to die and I did not want to die before I

> saw him once more. That is pure love for your son, no matter what he

> did or didn't do, it is a mother's love which is unconditional

> forever. I got a call on my answering machine one night when I got

> home from work and it was him. He had moved in with some girl and

> said he was teaching her to become a porn star. omg!@!!!!

>

> I paid for a bus trip for him to come to SD as that is where we were

> living then, Sioux Falls. Earl was with me as I had already

> remarried. My son looked like an old man. He tried to make love to

> me when he came home from the service one night and he is a sick

> man. I told him I was devastated that he would try that. His father

> had left, and he prob. was trying to fill his shoes. yeah right! I

> think my son is a sex addict and always has been. I hate telling

> this, maybe I should stop.

>

> To cut off some years here, he disappeared again to the Northwest,

> Oregon, and again for another 10 years didn't know if he was dead or

> alive, no phone, no address, nothing. heartbreaker. Then 2 years

> ago, he called one day and said he was moving to Richmond, VA, he

> came here on the bus and 2 shirts, 1 pr. slacks and holes in socks

> and a sad sad heart. God is Good!!!! A day I thought I would never

> see again, all those years of praying paid off. Only in God's time

> and His will, will things happen if it is meant to. He stayed at my

> daughters home and found a job here in Richmond. Then last Aug, he

> came to me one day and said, will I take him to the bus station

> tomorrow, as he was moving to Missoula MT. This is just before I

> went on the Oxygen. He knew I was going to be sick and need help, so

> off he goes, and I still don't hear from him. I know his address in

> Missoula but i Respect his privacy. He needs a good kick in the ...

> Anyhow, I still pray for him, but I don't cry anymore, no more tears

> for my son, but I still love him, no respect, and you CAN seperate

> them. He is very sick and I can not help him anymore. He made our

> lives here a living hell while he was here and my daughter and I were

> afraid of him. He loves guns.

> So I think I am happy for him at last in my heart and that he is not

> here with our family. I think he is a very private person and a

> quiet soul. When he was a baby and a young child, our whole family

> was a very close one. My husband then, Italian/Irish, and mine, PA

> Dutch/german/French.

>

> Nuff for now. Sorry if I offended anyone, but apparently this was

> the time in my long long life that I need you the most, friends of

> mine.

> Love, Lou

>

[Guest guest]

>

> My heart aches for you Sher, I know you are hurting as I have " AND "

> am and probably will for the rest of my life.

>

> First of all, I do hope and pray that your son will make it.

Second

> of all, I have a son who is 53 years old. I have mentioned to May

> that someday I would tell her all about the horrific continuous

ache

> in my heart because of my son's choices. That is what they are,

> choices, right? Doesn't mean as parents we approve, but we still

> love him, but you know what? The respect is gone forever, and I

mean

> forever. When my son found out I had breast cancer in 1981, he

left

> me high and dry, he disappeared from our lives (I was going through

a

> divorce) (he was 26 and had just gotten out of the Air Force) 4

year

> service. I was an Air Force wife for over 20 years in my first

> marriage. My son blamed us for divorcing and he couldn't handle

it,

> couldn't handle my cancer and did not want to accept the facts of

> life. I put in a year of chemo and couldn't find him. Day after I

> got home from the hospital from the cancer surgery, he called me

and

> said he never wanted to see me again, and to never try to find

him.

> Well, let me tell you, he did a good job as it took me 10 years to

> find him, I did not know if he was dead or alive or had committed

> suicide. (I have never shared this with anyone outside my immediate

> family). You guys are a first in this dept. Anyhow, maybe I need

to

> vent a little. I cried myself to sleep every single night for 10

> years, the divorce which I wasn't expecting and the loss of my son,

> yes I lost him forever, dead or alive, I did not know. I prayed

and

> prayed for years, looking at the tv, wanted posters, you name it,

on

> the streets, in the news, etc. on and on and on. I can not divulge

> how I finally found him, but I did, I had the police departments in

> every city on the west coast trying to find him. One day I got a

> call from the police dept in Woodland CA telling me they had

located

> my son and that he was to call me as they thought my cancer had

> returned and I was going to die and I did not want to die before I

> saw him once more. That is pure love for your son, no matter what

he

> did or didn't do, it is a mother's love which is unconditional

> forever. I got a call on my answering machine one night when I got

> home from work and it was him. He had moved in with some girl and

> said he was teaching her to become a porn star. omg!@!!!!

>

> I paid for a bus trip for him to come to SD as that is where we

were

> living then, Sioux Falls. Earl was with me as I had already

> remarried. My son looked like an old man. He tried to make love

to

> me when he came home from the service one night and he is a sick

> man. I told him I was devastated that he would try that. His

father

> had left, and he prob. was trying to fill his shoes. yeah right!

I

> think my son is a sex addict and always has been. I hate telling

> this, maybe I should stop.

>

> To cut off some years here, he disappeared again to the Northwest,

> Oregon, and again for another 10 years didn't know if he was dead

or

> alive, no phone, no address, nothing. heartbreaker. Then 2 years

> ago, he called one day and said he was moving to Richmond, VA, he

> came here on the bus and 2 shirts, 1 pr. slacks and holes in socks

> and a sad sad heart. God is Good!!!! A day I thought I would never

> see again, all those years of praying paid off. Only in God's time

> and His will, will things happen if it is meant to. He stayed at

my

> daughters home and found a job here in Richmond. Then last Aug, he

> came to me one day and said, will I take him to the bus station

> tomorrow, as he was moving to Missoula MT. This is just before I

> went on the Oxygen. He knew I was going to be sick and need help,

so

> off he goes, and I still don't hear from him. I know his address

in

> Missoula but i Respect his privacy. He needs a good kick in the ...

> Anyhow, I still pray for him, but I don't cry anymore, no more

tears

> for my son, but I still love him, no respect, and you CAN seperate

> them. He is very sick and I can not help him anymore. He made our

> lives here a living hell while he was here and my daughter and I

were

> afraid of him. He loves guns.

> So I think I am happy for him at last in my heart and that he is

not

> here with our family. I think he is a very private person and a

> quiet soul. When he was a baby and a young child, our whole family

> was a very close one. My husband then, Italian/Irish, and mine, PA

> Dutch/german/French.

>

> Nuff for now. Sorry if I offended anyone, but apparently this was

> the time in my long long life that I need you the most, friends of

> mine.

> Love, Lou

>

It amazes me how these children of ours don't get it. I don't think I

have experienced any more pain as I have when one of my daughters and

I are going through tough times. They are just now starting to

understand my illness(I think). My girls will never realize how much

they hurt me when I needed a ride to the hospital to have my biopsy

and they fought over who was going to do it. I also explained that

the DR. would like to talk to family after the surgery. They were the

only family down there and they just didn't get it. I explained it

away as them just being young (early 20's)and busy in college. I had

a real close relationship with my mother and I pray before I die I

can feel close to them again. Yea we parents make mistakes and it

takes moving moutains to get the kids to overlook it ;but one day

they are going to realize that I always forgave and forgot their

mistakes. Oh well enough of this,thank you for sharing Lou,it

helps to know we aren't alone.

Kathy53/ipf10/o4

[Guest guest]

Lou,

Your story about your son was very heart rending, but yet, the

first word that comes to my mind is 'brave' it is so brave of you to

come out with it go public , here it means you have shared it with

us , this shows the strength of this support group it helps you all

the time, you can be yourself ,you dont need to pretend , you dont

have to put on a mask.

When you keep things under the wraps , you are crushed by the

pressure to do so, you tend to think less of your self , now you can

say so this is is it , and when you discover you are loved inspite

of everything it is a great feeling.

Regarding your son , as you rightly say you can only love him and

nothing more.It is his karma and he has to finish with it before he

gets relief.

You Aae great! God blessyou

Geeta

- In Breathe-Support , " Lou "

wrote:

>

> My heart aches for you Sher, I know you are hurting as I

have " AND "

> am and probably will for the rest of my life.

>

> First of all, I do hope and pray that your son will make it.

Second

> of all, I have a son who is 53 years old. I have mentioned to May

> that someday I would tell her all about the horrific continuous

ache

> in my heart because of my son's choices. That is what they are,

> choices, right? Doesn't mean as parents we approve, but we still

> love him, but you know what? The respect is gone forever, and I

mean

> forever. When my son found out I had breast cancer in 1981, he

left

> me high and dry, he disappeared from our lives (I was going

through a

> divorce) (he was 26 and had just gotten out of the Air Force) 4

year

> service. I was an Air Force wife for over 20 years in my first

> marriage. My son blamed us for divorcing and he couldn't handle

it,

> couldn't handle my cancer and did not want to accept the facts of

> life. I put in a year of chemo and couldn't find him. Day after I

> got home from the hospital from the cancer surgery, he called me

and

> said he never wanted to see me again, and to never try to find

him.

> Well, let me tell you, he did a good job as it took me 10 years to

> find him, I did not know if he was dead or alive or had committed

> suicide. (I have never shared this with anyone outside my

immediate

> family). You guys are a first in this dept. Anyhow, maybe I need

to

> vent a little. I cried myself to sleep every single night for 10

> years, the divorce which I wasn't expecting and the loss of my

son,

> yes I lost him forever, dead or alive, I did not know. I prayed

and

> prayed for years, looking at the tv, wanted posters, you name it,

on

> the streets, in the news, etc. on and on and on. I can not

divulge

> how I finally found him, but I did, I had the police departments

in

> every city on the west coast trying to find him. One day I got a

> call from the police dept in Woodland CA telling me they had

located

> my son and that he was to call me as they thought my cancer had

> returned and I was going to die and I did not want to die before I

> saw him once more. That is pure love for your son, no matter what

he

> did or didn't do, it is a mother's love which is unconditional

> forever. I got a call on my answering machine one night when I

got

> home from work and it was him. He had moved in with some girl and

> said he was teaching her to become a porn star. omg!@!!!!

>

> I paid for a bus trip for him to come to SD as that is where we

were

> living then, Sioux Falls. Earl was with me as I had already

> remarried. My son looked like an old man. He tried to make love

to

> me when he came home from the service one night and he is a sick

> man. I told him I was devastated that he would try that. His

father

> had left, and he prob. was trying to fill his shoes. yeah right!

I

> think my son is a sex addict and always has been. I hate telling

> this, maybe I should stop.

>

> To cut off some years here, he disappeared again to the Northwest,

> Oregon, and again for another 10 years didn't know if he was dead

or

> alive, no phone, no address, nothing. heartbreaker. Then 2 years

> ago, he called one day and said he was moving to Richmond, VA, he

> came here on the bus and 2 shirts, 1 pr. slacks and holes in socks

> and a sad sad heart. God is Good!!!! A day I thought I would

never

> see again, all those years of praying paid off. Only in God's

time

> and His will, will things happen if it is meant to. He stayed at

my

> daughters home and found a job here in Richmond. Then last Aug,

he

> came to me one day and said, will I take him to the bus station

> tomorrow, as he was moving to Missoula MT. This is just before I

> went on the Oxygen. He knew I was going to be sick and need help,

so

> off he goes, and I still don't hear from him. I know his address

in

> Missoula but i Respect his privacy. He needs a good kick in

the ...

> Anyhow, I still pray for him, but I don't cry anymore, no more

tears

> for my son, but I still love him, no respect, and you CAN seperate

> them. He is very sick and I can not help him anymore. He made

our

> lives here a living hell while he was here and my daughter and I

were

> afraid of him. He loves guns.

> So I think I am happy for him at last in my heart and that he is

not

> here with our family. I think he is a very private person and a

> quiet soul. When he was a baby and a young child, our whole

family

> was a very close one. My husband then, Italian/Irish, and mine,

PA

> Dutch/german/French.

>

> Nuff for now. Sorry if I offended anyone, but apparently this was

> the time in my long long life that I need you the most, friends of

> mine.

> Love, Lou

>

[Guest guest]

> >

> > My heart aches for you Sher, I know you are hurting as I

> have " AND "

> > am and probably will for the rest of my life.

> >

> > First of all, I do hope and pray that your son will make it.

> Second

> > of all, I have a son who is 53 years old. I have mentioned to

May

> > that someday I would tell her all about the horrific continuous

> ache

> > in my heart because of my son's choices. That is what they are,

> > choices, right? Doesn't mean as parents we approve, but we still

> > love him, but you know what? The respect is gone forever, and I

> mean

> > forever. When my son found out I had breast cancer in 1981, he

> left

> > me high and dry, he disappeared from our lives (I was going

> through a

> > divorce) (he was 26 and had just gotten out of the Air Force) 4

> year

> > service. I was an Air Force wife for over 20 years in my first

> > marriage. My son blamed us for divorcing and he couldn't handle

> it,

> > couldn't handle my cancer and did not want to accept the facts of

> > life. I put in a year of chemo and couldn't find him. Day after

I

> > got home from the hospital from the cancer surgery, he called me

> and

> > said he never wanted to see me again, and to never try to find

> him.

> > Well, let me tell you, he did a good job as it took me 10 years

to

> > find him, I did not know if he was dead or alive or had committed

> > suicide. (I have never shared this with anyone outside my

> immediate

> > family). You guys are a first in this dept. Anyhow, maybe I

need

> to

> > vent a little. I cried myself to sleep every single night for 10

> > years, the divorce which I wasn't expecting and the loss of my

> son,

> > yes I lost him forever, dead or alive, I did not know. I prayed

> and

> > prayed for years, looking at the tv, wanted posters, you name it,

> on

> > the streets, in the news, etc. on and on and on. I can not

> divulge

> > how I finally found him, but I did, I had the police departments

> in

> > every city on the west coast trying to find him. One day I got a

> > call from the police dept in Woodland CA telling me they had

> located

> > my son and that he was to call me as they thought my cancer had

> > returned and I was going to die and I did not want to die before

I

> > saw him once more. That is pure love for your son, no matter

what

> he

> > did or didn't do, it is a mother's love which is unconditional

> > forever. I got a call on my answering machine one night when I

> got

> > home from work and it was him. He had moved in with some girl

and

> > said he was teaching her to become a porn star. omg!@!!!!

> >

> > I paid for a bus trip for him to come to SD as that is where we

> were

> > living then, Sioux Falls. Earl was with me as I had already

> > remarried. My son looked like an old man. He tried to make love

> to

> > me when he came home from the service one night and he is a sick

> > man. I told him I was devastated that he would try that. His

> father

> > had left, and he prob. was trying to fill his shoes. yeah

right!

> I

> > think my son is a sex addict and always has been. I hate telling

> > this, maybe I should stop.

> >

> > To cut off some years here, he disappeared again to the

Northwest,

> > Oregon, and again for another 10 years didn't know if he was dead

> or

> > alive, no phone, no address, nothing. heartbreaker. Then 2

years

> > ago, he called one day and said he was moving to Richmond, VA, he

> > came here on the bus and 2 shirts, 1 pr. slacks and holes in

socks

> > and a sad sad heart. God is Good!!!! A day I thought I would

> never

> > see again, all those years of praying paid off. Only in God's

> time

> > and His will, will things happen if it is meant to. He stayed at

> my

> > daughters home and found a job here in Richmond. Then last Aug,

> he

> > came to me one day and said, will I take him to the bus station

> > tomorrow, as he was moving to Missoula MT. This is just before I

> > went on the Oxygen. He knew I was going to be sick and need

help,

> so

> > off he goes, and I still don't hear from him. I know his address

> in

> > Missoula but i Respect his privacy. He needs a good kick in

> the ...

> > Anyhow, I still pray for him, but I don't cry anymore, no more

> tears

> > for my son, but I still love him, no respect, and you CAN

seperate

> > them. He is very sick and I can not help him anymore. He made

> our

> > lives here a living hell while he was here and my daughter and I

> were

> > afraid of him. He loves guns.

> > So I think I am happy for him at last in my heart and that he is

> not

> > here with our family. I think he is a very private person and a

> > quiet soul. When he was a baby and a young child, our whole

> family

> > was a very close one. My husband then, Italian/Irish, and mine,

> PA

> > Dutch/german/French.

> >

> > Nuff for now. Sorry if I offended anyone, but apparently this

was

> > the time in my long long life that I need you the most, friends

of

> > mine.

> > Love, Lou

> >

>GEETA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOU SUPPORT AND KIND KIND WORDS. YOU

ARE PRECIOUS. mary lou

[Guest guest]

MARY LOU...NOONE IS OFFENDED AND I RELATE TOTALLY WITH YOU, YOU MAY NOT BE IN YOUR SONS' PRAYERS OR HIS HEART, OR HIS LIFE, BUT I AM GLAD YOU ARE NOW PART OF MINE AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN MY PRAYERS, HEART AND LIFE...THANKS FOR SHARING HERE LIKE I DID, IT JUST SORTS OF SPILLS OUT DOESN'T IT? SOMETIMES A TRIGGER GOES OFF AND WE CAN VENT...LOVE//JOANIE

    JOE/JOANIE JOE 60 IPF1/2008

GRIFFIN, GA.

-- Re: SHER, I lOVE YOU.....................................SHARING TIME For May too

> >> > My heart aches for you Sher, I know you are hurting as I > have "AND" > > am and probably will for the rest of my life.> > > > First of all, I do hope and pray that your son will make it. > Second > > of all, I have a son who is 53 years old. I have mentioned to May > > that someday I would tell her all about the horrific continuous > ache > > in my heart because of my son's choices. That is what they are, > > choices, right? Doesn't mean as parents we approve, but we still > > love him, but you know what? The respect is gone forever, and I > mean > > forever. When my son found out I had breast cancer in 1981, he > left > > me high and dry, he disappeared from our lives (I was going > through a > > divorce) (he was 26 and had just gotten out of the Air Force) 4 > year > > service. I was an Air Force wife for over 20 years in my first > > marriage. My son blamed us for divorcing and he couldn't handle > it, > > couldn't handle my cancer and did not want to accept the facts of > > life. I put in a year of chemo and couldn't find him. Day after I > > got home from the hospital from the cancer surgery, he called me > and > > said he never wanted to see me again, and to never try to find > him. > > Well, let me tell you, he did a good job as it took me 10 years to > > find him, I did not know if he was dead or alive or had committed > > suicide. (I have never shared this with anyone outside my > immediate > > family). You guys are a first in this dept. Anyhow, maybe I need > to > > vent a little. I cried myself to sleep every single night for 10 > > years, the divorce which I wasn't expecting and the loss of my > son, > > yes I lost him forever, dead or alive, I did not know. I prayed > and > > prayed for years, looking at the tv, wanted posters, you name it, > on > > the streets, in the news, etc. on and on and on. I can not > divulge > > how I finally found him, but I did, I had the police departments > in > > every city on the west coast trying to find him. One day I got a > > call from the police dept in Woodland CA telling me they had > located > > my son and that he was to call me as they thought my cancer had > > returned and I was going to die and I did not want to die before I > > saw him once more. That is pure love for your son, no matter what > he > > did or didn't do, it is a mother's love which is unconditional > > forever. I got a call on my answering machine one night when I > got > > home from work and it was him. He had moved in with some girl and > > said he was teaching her to become a porn star. omg!@!!!!> > > > I paid for a bus trip for him to come to SD as that is where we > were > > living then, Sioux Falls. Earl was with me as I had already > > remarried. My son looked like an old man. He tried to make love > to > > me when he came home from the service one night and he is a sick > > man. I told him I was devastated that he would try that. His > father > > had left, and he prob. was trying to fill his shoes. yeah right! > I > > think my son is a sex addict and always has been. I hate telling > > this, maybe I should stop.> > > > To cut off some years here, he disappeared again to the Northwest, > > Oregon, and again for another 10 years didn't know if he was dead > or > > alive, no phone, no address, nothing. heartbreaker. Then 2 years > > ago, he called one day and said he was moving to Richmond, VA, he > > came here on the bus and 2 shirts, 1 pr. slacks and holes in socks > > and a sad sad heart. God is Good!!!! A day I thought I would > never > > see again, all those years of praying paid off. Only in God's > time > > and His will, will things happen if it is meant to. He stayed at > my > > daughters home and found a job here in Richmond. Then last Aug, > he > > came to me one day and said, will I take him to the bus station > > tomorrow, as he was moving to Missoula MT. This is just before I > > went on the Oxygen. He knew I was going to be sick and need help, > so > > off he goes, and I still don't hear from him. I know his address > in > > Missoula but i Respect his privacy. He needs a good kick in > the ...> > Anyhow, I still pray for him, but I don't cry anymore, no more > tears > > for my son, but I still love him, no respect, and you CAN seperate > > them. He is very sick and I can not help him anymore. He made > our > > lives here a living hell while he was here and my daughter and I > were > > afraid of him. He loves guns. > > So I think I am happy for him at last in my heart and that he is > not > > here with our family. I think he is a very private person and a > > quiet soul. When he was a baby and a young child, our whole > family > > was a very close one. My husband then, Italian/Irish, and mine, > PA > > Dutch/german/French.> > > > Nuff for now. Sorry if I offended anyone, but apparently this was > > the time in my long long life that I need you the most, friends of > > mine.> > Love, Lou> >>GEETA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOU SUPPORT AND KIND KIND WORDS. YOU ARE PRECIOUS. mary lou