Re: young children.../Kate

[Guest guest]

Kate,

I have the same circumstances w/ my ex and my dd. When my youngest started

kindergarten, I wasnt ready to have all my babies gone. He didnt want more but

he had an outlet. He had hobbies and work and I was a stay at home mom. I NEEDED

to have another baby. Aaginst his wishes I had dd. He was very tough on her and

didnt seem to care much for her as a small child. We divorced when she was 10.

He didnt pay much attention to her or ask to have her on weekends or during the

summer.She is now 16 and says she doesnt have a dad and refuses to see him. He

never calls her to see how she is doing or how school is. I know it affects her

and she has an attitude with me but I know she is taking out her frustrations on

me because of her lack of attention from her dad. Her counselor says its because

she feels closest to me and feels safe enough to vent on me. It hurts me

sometimes but but I know why she does it. Theresa in Tn

Kate Court wrote:

Kids is a real deal breaker in marriage, I can tell you I had my DD

against my husbands wishes and well now divorced he still treats her badly. At 8

she still prefers to stay home than see him. Resentment is the problem not the

child, my hormones kicked in I wanted the child so badly that my husband gave in

and by the time she was 3 he was gone. All I can say is don't do anything you

will regret, perhaps kids isnt the problem, perhaps there is something wrong

that he thinks kids will fix, I know for me it was hormones I had to have her. I

had via IVF and I'm pretty sure that is why she is so special to me.

Also dont buy the hype I lost 54kg and no the pain did not go away.

Re: Fears with fibro and young children....

You know....the same thoughts have been going through my head lately.

DH really wants kids...I am totally indifferent about it, but I

seriously don't know how I could handle it. But, I also know that he

really wants them...and if we don't have kids I know that will really

effect our marriage. But, at the end of the day...he works so much so

it would be ME that would mainly be caring for them. He is such a

momma's boy it is a big enough job taking care of him!

>

> Ok another post. I guess my fingers won't stop today..

>

> I will share something with you. I have thought over and over

about how I would manage by myself with my kids. I fear I could

not. This makes me feel very insecure. It is a fact of my life I

have to internalize. I fear I would lose them if I had to do it

alone. I honestly can say that my body won't take much more than it

does already.. It takes every fiber of my being to go to work. That

is all I can do.. Flashback to 5 or 6 years ago, I could have done it

without even worrying about it. I could get up, take them to school,

go to work, take care of them, keep up the house and everything on my

own. Fibromyalgia not only stole the person I once was, but it has

taken away my independence and ability to care for my children.

>

> I sometimes imagine a life without the d/h. Then it hits me....

I wake up in the morning not hardly able to walk or move, I hurt

everywhere, I am weak.... And I think " how the hell would I get them

to school if I had too " .

> And now I know that if I did not work the 2pm to 10pm shift, I

don't think I could get to work. It takes me several hours to be

able to go to work now.

>

> Now I love the d/h. But if I ever needed to do this by

myself.... I fear I could not. At this point I could work to support

us, but the rest of it would be near impossible.

>

> Just sharing,

> love,

> Debra V.

>

>

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