Sorry not participating - Painful and Emotional

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry I have not been an active member in this great group. I can stay

caught up for a little while and then the pain gets worse and emotionally I'm a

wreck and my eyes won't work and I give up. That doesn't make me a very viable

member of this site. I've been thinking about leaving because I don't really

participate enough but then I would be all alone and that really scares me. I

start chemo next week. I go in for some consultations this week to set every

thing up. I'm going to drive myself into Hartford, which I haven't done in over

a year and I'm really scared.

I'm so afraid I'll get there and spend a couple of hours and be too tired or

overcome with fibro fog I won't be able to drive back. I think it's just a

fear, but I know it used to happen when I drove to the mall. They are both

about 30 min away. My eyes do fine usually at a distance right now; it's the

close up reading that's become too hard to do. I not only can't read most of

the posts without some type of enlargement, I can't read magazines or books

either - and I love to read.

It's raining here. It snowed Sunday and some of Monday and now the temp has

gone up and it's just raining. I used to love the rain, but now it makes me

cold and achy and makes all my symptoms worse, including emotionally.

Well, that's me for now. I will keep trying to participate in the group if

that's OK. I would really be lost without you, but I will try hard to answer

posts too.

Thanks to you all for your thoughts and prayers as I enter yet another stage

in life - beating this bone cancer.

Blessed be, Marti

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