Guest guest Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 K.....Hey, caregivers get depressed too! You have rather a thankless job taking care of an extremely ill person. It goes with being a caregiver.That's why it's sooooo important you get breaks, go out of the house, go away from the house. Yes, away from Don. It doesn't mean you don't love him. Friends, church, whatever but you really need to do this for you. I'm sure every waking moment is focused on Don and well it should be, he's your husband and you want the best for him. However, you need to find a balance....there are two of you. If you both get down, then where are you? There apparently is no one else but you to care for Don. What about your kids? They are big enough to give some responsibility and they need to be helping their parents. Did you call the Pastor for a visit? Have you gone to church lately? Have you tried to find someone to come in, maybe from Hospice for help? Is there respite care where you are? Don, sadly, has given up. Now you want to give up too? I know you don't literally mean that but you are simply worn out and you've forgotten to take care of your own needs. Depression is debilitating. It renders a person helpless and hopeless if not resisted and/or treated. The cause of depression sifts down to one of two things....one is not doing what one needs to do or one is not facing what one needs to face. Think about it ....you will find YOUR answers there. No one else knows. Yes, this is simplified but truthful. Go over to the caregiver site and talk to them....see what they do or recommend. It's not unusual for someone in his situation to give up and it's not unusual for someone in yours to get down as well. , you can't do this all by yourself but I wonder if you are reaching out for help.... You know me by now, I'm outspoken but we here on this board don't have time for beating around the bush.....you need attention now! From where do you draw your strength? Spiritual, shopping, reading the Bible?There has to be something down inside you from which you draw for strength. Go to that place and take a big draw of strength! Take a break and when you go back you will feel better. God Bless you and Don. Mama-Sher, age 69.IPF 3/06, NSIP 4/08 OR. Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there! Re: ReVarinda Thanks for the post. He doens't look forward to anything except bed. We have plans in August to go to Minnesota with our kids and grand kids on a lake and he can fish etc. I can't wait. He doesn't care about that either. This is not something I know how to deal with. I have told God that He is going to have take over this situation because I've done all I can. I told myself that I wasn't going to post tonight because I can't help anybody. I'm down myself. Then here I am typing away. K Illinoisv_since1982 <v_since1982> wrote: Hi , Around the time i joined the group i was feeling extremely helpless for similar reasons - my mom was just not interested in anything. she just wanted to sit by her self most of the day. she prayed for a few hours. she did not like anybody coming to meet her - relatives et al. she barely talked to people on the phone (her coughing plays up when she is on the phone). my mom loves the outdoors and here she was confined to a single room in our house (because we live in an apartment, and because we had repairs going on at home).one of the things that may have helped is looking forward to an event in the future....she was feeling blue about the fact that she may not enjoy my wedding or may not be around or may not be involved in the preparations - last couple of weeks we engaged her in that. we made lists, stuff she wants to do for our trousseau. called designers over, so that she could see it all happen in front of her. warm wishes, vrinda > > > > > Hey guys,> Don and I were talking this morning and he said "I don't care about anything anymore. I'm going to die, so what?  He used to watch the news stations because he loved the political garbage on tv right now. He could hardly wait for the newspaper to come so he could read it.  He would watch tv 24/7 if he could. He cares about none of it now.   I asked him why he felt that way, did he think that he has lost the desire to live? He said yes.>  > Now he is on 40 mg of Cymbalta. Any higher dose tends to lower his blood pressure.  Anyone got a clue ---- do we need to get him counseling? I'm not sure he will be up for it because he thinks it is "airing dirtly laundry". Kind of like an admission of weakness. > I told him that I would post this because I'm sure he isn't the only one who feels this hopeless helplessness. > LInda K> Illinois> >  > > > > > K> Central Il> Hubby ipf- 2006> As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord> 14> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > K> Central Il> Hubby ipf- 2006> As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord> 14> > > > > > > > K> Central Il> Hubby ipf- 2006> As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord> 14> K Central Il Hubby ipf- 2006 As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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