Fw: MARY BETH GOODBYE !! Didn't Post Wonder Why

[Guest guest]

God Bless !!

dragonflymcs

Mayleen 02/07 ILD / MCS/ Fibro/ RADS/ TMJD/ AR +18

----- Forwarded Message ----To: Beth Sent: Friday, May 23, 2008 10:43:05 PMSubject: Re:MARY BETH GOODBYE !!

Beth,

I have 2 different terminal diseases with no cure. About 5 different pain conditions, and a host of others, I am accumulating. I completely understand everyone is ill. I grew up caring for my father who was ill since I was 14. I joined because everyone was like me, ill. I cannot however change anything about me. I feel for all the same, no matter how different your condition may be your are ill and it is a hard road. I live a lie, I talk to my Mom everyday and she does not know how ill I really am. I do not want to tell her until she is here. She only knows basic things. I can walk out the door tomorrow and not come back. Anything at this point can kill me with out waiting for the disease to do it. . I feel for everyone, I really do. I know my house is killing me and we know that is the most of the source, but I am trapped by disease. It is ironic. The same place that is killing me, is

also keeping me safe from the other monster. I completely understand being ill. My fiancee whom I also care for has his brain damaged by this in his home and no longer goes to REM sleep. He sufferers greatly as well. He is 64. It has been very difficult for him loosing his ability to care for me. However he tries to do things. He just found out this week I was terminal. I did not tell him either. He thought I just had a lung disease that had treatment.

We have not discussed it. I understand disease, pain and suffering, I understand being moody, irritable, annoyed, and fed-up and wanting to give up. I understand more than most. So I decided to take all that bad energy and share what I know instead, so someone else has a chance to breathe better than I can without all those things everyone else has, nurses, therapy, equipment, rehab, doctors, hospitals and care. I could have gotten some information for me on the way there. Knowledge is power, I wish I knew then what I know now. I just wanted to share it.

No, I do not wish to continue on this board. It takes from me. At least you did. Others have been kind. I guess you did not see the post about the bread or the puppies either. Nor the couple of times I said I was without care because no one wants to touch me, you missed that too! Not how I intend to go from this world with bad feelings. I wanted to feel useful. Not doing that so it is time to go.

Best wishes to all. Hope you all find what you need.

God Bless !!

dragonflymcs

Mayleen 02/07 ILD / MCS/ Fibro/ RADS/ TMJD/ AR +18

To dragonfly> > > I've been waiting for you to post to us about the disease we have in common and how you are coping with whatever problems you may be having or already solved.> I'd like to hear to hear more about you Mayleen. I'm feeling overwhelmed with so many other things you post that I don't read all your posts any longer. I don't want to be

rude to you if you are needing us.> I know you are dealing with a lot because of your living conditions and other health problems for which I have no suggestions.> How are you dealing with a disease we CAN help with?> > Mama-Sher, age 69.IPF 3/06, NSIP 4/08 OR.> Don't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!>