Fw: gonna whup your butt ...

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gonna whup your butt ...

gonna whup your buttThere were two old geezers living in the backwoodsof the Ozarks....Rufus and Clarence. Theylived on opposite sides of the river and they hatedeach other. Every morning, just after sunup,Rufus and Clarence would go down to theirrespective sides of the river and yell at each other. " Rufus!! " Clarence would shout, " You better thankyour lucky stars that I can't swim....er I'd swim thisriver and whup your butt!! " " Clarence!!! " Rufus would holler back, " You betterthank YOUR lucky stars that I can't swim...er I'd swimthis river and whup your skinny butt!!! " Every morning. Every day. Twenty years.One day the Army Corps of Engineerscome along. Builds a bridge.Still, Every morning. Every day. Another five years.Finally.... Mrs. Rufus has had enough. " Rufus! " she squallers oneday, " I can't take no more!! Every dayfor 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence.Well, thar's the bridge......have at it. " Rufus thought for a moment. Chewed hisbottom lip for another moment. " Woman! " he declared, snapping his suspendersinto place. " I'm gonna whup Clarence's butt!!! " He walked out the door, down to the river, along theriverbank, came to the bridge, stepped up onto thebridge, walked about halfway over the bridge,looked up.....TURNED TAIL AND RAN, RANSCREAMING BACK TO THE HOUSE,SLAMMED THE DOOR, BOLTED THE WINDOWS,GRABBED THE SHOTGUN AND DIVED PANTINGAND GASPING UNDER THE BED!!!!! " Rufus! " cried the missus, " I thought you wasgonna whup Clarence's butt!!! " " I was, woman, I was!! " he whispered. " Rufus! cried the missus, " What in tarnation is the matter? " " Well, " muttered the terror-stricken Rufus, " I went to the bridge...... I stepped up on the bridge.....walked halfway over the bridge.... looked up..... " " And? " asked Mrs. Rufus, breathless with suspense. " And, " continued Rufus, " I saw a sign that said " Clearance,13 feet, 6 inches " .........he ain'tNEVER looked that big from the other side of the river!!!!!!! "