Re: for jane and jayne

[Guest guest]

What day brighteners!!!!! )Thank you so much for thinking of me and Jayne!

I'm taking a while to get through old messages.

These were great fun to read!

DH liked them too!!

Jane

for jane and jayne

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel. Tower: " Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!" Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said, "Just a minute." "Thank you," the man said and hung up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man walks up to the counter at the airport. "Can I help you?" asks the agent. "I want a round trip ticket," says the man. "Where to?" asks the agent. "Right back to here." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A passenger piled his cases on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent, "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the square case to go to Denver and the two round ones to go to Seattle." "I'm sorry, sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent. "Why not? You did it last time!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in from angry wives asking, "What trip???"

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