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Wow Jackie!

I did the same thing! Remember those round cookies with the hole in the middle?

The filling would kind of squeeze out a little? I used to put my little finger

through the hole and eat the filling and put the cookie back so no one would

know I had eaten it. I took money from my dads " hidey " place and would spend it

all on candy...hiding it under my bed. I always got into trouble for sneak

eating....yet I still did it. I rarely do it now, but I think that's because my

husband is very loving and never mentions my weight. Occasionally we'll have an

argument and I'll go to Taco bell or something....but I order something

" normal " .....but, I still go to food for comfort.

I think its no worse than compulsive spenders or people who are addicted to sex

or drugs. We all have our comfort area...and since I can't go buy

clothes...since that'll just make me feel worse, I go eat. I knew a lady who

went to Aerobics everyday, then did two hours at home everyday AND jogged 10

miles per day.....yet, everyone thought she was fantastic. No one ever called

her compulsive.

My father, after a night out of drinking, would take us out to eat then take us

shopping for clothes and such...it was his way of feeling better about himself.

No one ever told him he was just spending money because of guilt...they just

said he was a good provider.

I think it has a lot to do with peoples perspectives.

People see me, they see a fat woman...period.

They don't see a woman who loves to make dolls, hates to cook, loves to sing,

and works from 7:00 am to 10:00 PM six days per week on a farm.....they just

look at me and say " she needs to lose some weight " .

I have only just gotten my insurance and as soon as I get the cards and such,

I'm going through Dr. Rutledge's site and filling out all the information there.

But I know I'll have to break it to my PCP first. I know the PCP is supposed to

refer for the psych eval. but beyond that I have little to offer.

I am not sure if I would be diagnosed as a compulsive eater....or what. But I

certainly do love food. I am married to a man who loves fast food and junk.

Cookies, crackers, chips, cake....he'll eat 6 zingers and a huge glass of milk

at one sitting. But guess what...he weighs 135 pounds!!

His metabolism is racing. So, in all....its hard to get away from those things

when they are here in the house. Now, If eating them made me sick to my stomach

or I was full after two bites....that would make a difference!!

Keep in touch...

Re: Eating Disorder

>Date: Sun, 5 Mar 2000 07:31:53 -0600

>

>LOLOL...I love your post. I too am a ravenous eater. I simply eat too much

>for what I burn and I'm moving all day (aside from this very moment). I

>truly love food.....but I think it has been an issue of " what else is there

>to do? " for me. I mean, gee whiz...when you weigh 285 pounds....NOTHING

>else sounds possible. Who wants to try on clothes? Their all going to look

>bad....basketball? baseball? fishing? Yeah...right. used to do all those

>things when I was fist married...I even took up hunting so my husband would

>share a common interest....I could never keep up now and even if I

>could....my panting and wheezing like a rhino would scare everything away!

>I have to admit though, that there may have been things early on that

>started the heavy eating.....alcoholic father made loving mother want to

> " take us to dinner " as a treat....in addition to something I cannot discuss

>in open forum ( I think)....so I ran to food as a comfort....even then, but

>as a whole....it metamorphisized into eating " cause I can try on jeans and

>enjoy myself!

>Does anyone else have these feelings? Did anyone else have an alcoholic

>parent? What about significant tragedies in your life? Did that interfere

>with the psych eval.?

>I have just acquired insurance through my employer and I believe there is

>an exclusion on this but don't have the manual yet....and am hopeful to

>meet Dr. Rutledge soon.

>

> Crawford

>Cassville, Missouri

>285

>BMI 42

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