Life is what you make of it :)

[Guest guest]

Hello, Angel here! I recently joined this group. 24 year old female with

RSS. In reference to Jodi & her situation, God will not give you more than

you can handle, we must all lean on Him & one another for support. My 24

years have been very hard and challenging years. I'm going to include with

this e-mail something I wrote, entitled " Angel's Journey " ...it's about my

life and my personal faith. I hope my sharing with the group will bless all

of you! Please feel free to e-mail me personally at AngelDykes@...

Also, do any of you have AOL, AIM, Yahoo, MSN instant messangers? I have

them all and would love to chat with any of you who may have questions for

me. Have a G'nite All & God Bless <><

ANGEL'S JOURNEY

If you remember only 3 things after reading this, may it be this:

" God is all that we need. Don't ever lose faith! Don't ever give up! "

Ever Wondered-

I know there are a few common questions that run across the minds of those

who meet me for the first time. If you know me I'm sure you once asked

yourself these very same questions. The first, " Why is she so small? " and

second, " I wonder how old she is? "

I've been in this tiny package, since the day I entered this world on April

9th 1977. Given the name Angel Rhiannon, I weighed in at 3 pounds & was

13inches long. When I was a toddler the medical diagnosis given to me was

Silver Dwarf. At the time of my diagnosis, I was only the 27th person

in medical history with this type. Dwarfism effects the growth process and at

the age of six I began using a medicine known as Growth Hormone. This was

given in the form of a daily injection, and over a period of 8 years, I used

this treatment. The end result left me standing at 4ft 5inches tall.

Growing Up-

I was raised in Iowa, in a small town called Red Oak, population around

7,000. I'm the eldest of two children. My youngersister ; is 17. My

parents and sister are all of average size. There is no history of dwarfism

in my family tree, that we are aware of. My family and friends always did the

best they possibly could at making me feel so-called " normal " . The people in

my hometown community were very accepting of me. Growing up I was often

referred to as " special " . When I was old enough to go to school I realized

there were differences between my friends and me. I noticed them doing things

that I couldn't do because of my size. None of my friends had " spending

endless hours at the hospital " on their list of extra curricular activities.

None of my friends had to have growth hormone shots. So, over a period of

time my definition of " special " became twisted around to mean " different " . I

started looking at myself as different and it made me question a lot of

things. The main question I kept asking myself was WHY? Why was I different?

Had I done something wrong to cause it? Was there something I could do to fix

it? These questions were always in the back of my mind. For a long time I

never really knew the answers. To this day I'm thankful for the love and

encouragement I've received from my family, friends, and teachers. Despite

the inner struggles I have, I know they could be a lot worse, if the people

in my life hadn't supported me like they did.

Chosen-

I wasn't raised in a church going home, but my family has always been a very

loving one. Respect and appreciation for others are strong morals I've been

taught. As a child I don't recall ever being told that I should believe in

Jesus or talk to him. But I remember doing so at a very young age. Ever since

I can remember there was this other part of me that was inevitably there.

I've always felt the presence of God in my life. Some may find that hard to

believe or understand. It's simple really, no one had to tell Jesus that his

Heavenly Father was there, he ALWAYS knew. God chooses us long before we

chose him, and like Christ; I've always felt " chosen " .

When I was a sophomore in high school, I became best friends with a girl

named, Darcy . Through her I started becoming active in church and got

involved in a group known as Student Venture, supported by Campus Crusade for

Christ. One weekend Student Venture held a retreat at a Christian camp known

as Twin Lakes Christian Center, located in Manson Iowa. Just being at that

place, at that time, with those people, changed my life in a major way! The

people on staff at Twin Lakes were just awesome! During that entire weekend I

was surrounded with this " love vibe " and felt accepted for " who " I truly was.

It's that retreat a light bulb went off in my head and everything " clicked "

The Journey-

My journey to find some answers to my life-long questions had ended. I had

found a missing piece I was looking for. It was during that weekend I finally

realize that everything that happens to us in life, be it good or bad,

happens for a reason. God has a mighty plan for each of our lives. We must

put or faith in Him, believing that He knows what is best for us. And finding

comfort in knowing He's always in control. Like the verse Romans 8:28 says,

" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,

who have been called according to his purpose. "

During this weekend I started a new journey, a journey of learning to love

and accept myself. We are all made in the image of God. I'm made in His image

and you're made in His image. God is an artist and each piece he creates is

unique and special. Whether we be short, tall, have physical handicaps, or

are of a different race. Even though our human bodies aren't perfect, God is

perfect, and he doesn't make mistakes.

The master artist made you himself, just the way you are, for a very special

reason; " flaws " and all.

On the last day of our retreat, I was talking one on one with Darcy's mom,

Pam. She was asking me if I'd enjoyed the weekend. She also wanted to know

some of the things I had learned. Then the conversation moved in the

direction of my personal walk with Jesus. I told her I believed, but I still

had some personal issues of why God made me the way he did. Pam asked me if I

wanted to go to God in prayer. Asking Jesus to answer my questions, heal my

pain, and guide my future. I know God was sitting right there with us that

day, because I said with all my heart, " Yes I want Him to do that for me " .

That prayer sparked my serious walk with Christ. My whole outlook was changed

from that point on. The true definition of " special " has been given back to

me, that in it self; is witness enough. There is no doubt in my mind that God

had always chosen me, but there comes a point in time, when we all must in

return; choose Him.

Answering The Call-

I graduated from high school in May of 1996. It was in 1997, I received a

" calling " from God. He was asking me to serve him. The mission was to devote

my entire summer, serving at the very camp where my life was changed. This

calling looked almost impossible to me. From my experiences as a camper

there, I knew that the people on Twin Lakes staff were devoted to serving God

24-7. Physically the work was demanding, required long hours, and was

sometimes stressful. Up until that point I'd never been away from home for

more than a week, and the camp was 3 hours from where I lived. In my mind I

was focusing on my limitations. I had little faith that I could fill the role

God was asking me to fill, and I was making up every excuse why I shouldn't

try. But I couldn't ignore the " call " so I took a step in " blind-faith " . Not

knowing what was going to happen or what to expect. I went, because God was

telling me to. It was during that summer my life was changed in many ways. I

grew so much personally, spiritually, and I gained a sense of independence.

Only a few years prior, Twin Lakes was the place where I saw God in a new

light. Now I was serving Him there, and He showed me something else in a new

light, myself.

There was a special verse that kept me motivated that summer. I've now

claimed it as my " life verse " .

It's a verse that will be my motivation, strength, and hope, all the days of

my life. Philippians 4:13, " I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me

strength. "

Holding On-

What would you do if tomorrow, life as you knew it, were turned upside down?

In May of 1998 I fell very ill. As a result of that illness, I lived with the

chronic disease known as " Renal Failure " . Our kidneys have a specific role

they play, that is filtering out the toxins and waste from our blood. During

my illness my kidney's decided they didn't want to do their job anymore. You

can't live if your kidneys don't work, unless you use a different method to

replace the job they used to do, known as dialysis. This treatment was part

of my daily routine.

My illness extended over a period of 2 ½ months. During this time I'd never

felt so scared and helpless in all my life. I felt as if God were against me.

Because I had all these plans, good plans, God glorifying plans. I'd signed a

contract with Twin Lakes and was ready to serve His ministry again that

summer. There were hopes of attending Grace University in the fall, a small

Bible College in Omaha Neb. I guess you could say I was heading in the right

direction, when all of a sudden my rug was pulled out from underneath me. I

couldn't even dry my own hair without getting exhausted. It looked as if

everything I'd hoped for would be taken from me. My very life was what I was

fighting to grasp onto, because there was a chance, I could lose that too.

Persistent Prayer-

We've all faced hard times. We've all felt abandon, helpless, lonely and

confused. But we are not alone. Jesus knows how you feel, he once felt that

very same way, the day he took our sins with him to the cross. His cry on the

cross was a cry from loneliness he couldn't bare, " Why have you left me? "

During my illness I felt just as Christ did on the cross. I felt as though,

this were the first time in my life God had cut off my connection with Him. I

was sad, angry, and confused all at the same time. I had no idea what to do,

so all I did was cry. As a result of all the medications I was on, there were

many nights I couldn't sleep, even though I was physically exhausted. One

night I decided that from that night on, if I couldn't sleep, I would pray

until sleep found me. There were many nights I asked WHY? There were many

nights I asked God to lift my burdens. There were many nights I felt like I

was talking to myself, getting frustrated to the point where I didn't want to

pray anymore. Then there were the nights I would just lay there and listen

for His voice, only to find silence. It was during those nights the dark

never felt so lonely, but despite the silence, something kept me praying.

Then one night I pleaded with God one last time. My prayer was similar to the

one Jesus prayed in the garden before he was sentenced to die on the cross, "

I'm so scared! Take this from me please! I'm not strong enough! " We all know

God told Jesus " No " that night, because he had to endure the cross to gain

the glory. And on this night my silence was also broken with a soft and

gentle " NO " .

Comforting Reassurance-

Someone in a situation such as this may feel they have no hope or anything to

live for. But among every " No " God says, there is a reassuring " Yes " , not far

behind. Even though my world was turned up side down, I knew God would rescue

me. He gave me these words of comfort to hang onto, " You will get through

this. I am all you need. I will be yourstrength. "

God keeps His promises. That night I realized that my life was just beginning

and that I had so much to live for. Figuratively speaking, this illness was

" my cross " , the challenge I had to endure. Like Christ, I knew with God on my

side, I would have victory. Each day is a gift, a new beginning, a new

opportunity to love, laugh, and learn. I've learned you can't take life for

granted. Seek to find joy in the little things, right down to each beat your

heart makes, to the very breath God breathes into you.

The Next Chapter:

1998 to 2001

So, dialysis became a big part of my life, my means of survival. It was a

daily reminder that I needed God now more than ever to help me. In the Fall

of 1998 I decided to attend Grace University, a Private Christian Bible

College in Omaha, Neb. It was one step closer to feeling normal again.

Although I found it difficult at times having so much to deal with in

addition to being a full-time student. But God helped me press onward. I

was a student at Grace from 1998 to 2000.

In the summer of 2000 I faced another battle, entering into a state of deep

depression and spiritual warfare. I had been through so much, had tried

being so strong for so long that emotionally I was drained and just could no

longer handle it all. I was aware that this depression was uninvited evil

because the voice of God was replaced with the voice of Lies. I knew I

needed help in fear of being pushed to far by the evil I felt around me. So

I was hospitalized for a week at a local psych hospital until my family could

find a good Christian program to place me in. My Mom found a center in Tulsa

Oklahoma that deals with the spiritual aspect of depression called the Rapha,

which means " God Heals " . It was there they understood the demons I was

fighting. One morning a nurse came into my room while I was praying and

begging God to deliver me from the hell I was facing. She prayed beside my

bed, in Jesus Name & anointed Blood that the evil flee. I literally felt the

presence around me leave, and for the first time I truly understood the power

of Jesus' name & the protection of His precious saving blood! Although I

still to this day battle against depression, I now know how powerful my

Savior's name really is. Even when we go through the depths of hell, God is

there! He will deliver you!

In the fall of 2001 God called me to start attending a new church. Being a

student of God's Word I was not being spiritually fed or challenged by the

church I was going to in Council Bluffs. One day, I saw a commercial for

Harvest Tabernacle and God spoke up & told me " Go…they know how to pray

there " . Prior to that commercial I had never even heard of Harvest, but who

am I to question God's command? Let me tell you, that first Sunday it was

like a door to a whole new world was opened for me. This church was Alive &

on Fire and Growing for God! The experience I have at Harvest is unlike

anything I've ever had before. We truly do enter the presence of God every

Sunday! And Pastor & Lynell challenge are constantly challenging me

spiritually, to be my best for God. I'm proud to call Harvest " home " and the

congregation " family " .

After facing my bout with depression, I felt it would be best to just take

some time off. Instead of going back to Grace, I decided to look into

courses I could take from home. As a result of everything that I had gone

through, I needed time just to " rest " in God's presence. To focus and listen

to what He was leading me to do next. And what He had planned for me, I

hadn't even considered. Now was the time to move forward in my life, freeing

my body from the disease of kidney-failure. God told me that I was ready to

go ahead and move forward with the process of receiving my kidney transplant.

I knew I had a long road ahead in finding a living-donor. But in my heart I

knew God already had everything worked out, all I had to do was move forward.

The first person I went to was my Mom, she hoped and prayed that she could

be my donor. Through many tests and some set backs the results finally came

in, she was a perfect match! I had a kidney. Not only had my Mom given me

life, God intended for her to give me the gift of life a second time! Praise

God!

On January 10th, 2001 I received my miracle. The operation went well for

both my Mom and I, we were uncomfortable for a while but the doctors where

happy with how well my body accepted my new healthy kidney. My hospital stay

was 12 days and in 3 months time of recouping I began feeling back to my old

and newly improved self. My routine has changed on account that I have to

take a dozen different medications throughout the course of my day to prevent

rejection. But it's worth it because I'm now FREE again, and that's a

wonderful feeling to regain.

While recouping from my transplant I became certified and ordained as the

role and title of Pastor, although out of respect for the position, I will

not use the title Pastor until I'm in a role of leadership. My specialty is

working with Youth. I find kids in Jr. High really take a liking to me. I

also enjoy the high school age group. Students today have a desperate need

for Jesus & a place they can go and be accepted. God has given me a vision I

would like to share with you. To me it looks pretty big but I know with God

anything is possible. Not only do I have a heart for youth but I also have

studied Christian Literature. Apart from God's Word, I love when the power

of a good book can change & improve a person's Christian faith. With these

passions in mind, my " vision " fits together. God is calling me to open a 3

in 1 center. I envision a place where teens can fellowship, where they can

share their talents in the Music, Literature, and Art. And most importantly

where they can hear the Truth of the Living Word. All in all I see this

being a Youth Center/Christian Bookstore/Coffee House. God has given me a

financial goal to strive for, in order to start this ministry which is around

$200,000 To me this looks very challenging. I know it will take my

dedication and will require my ability to speak and share my vision and

financial goals with many groups like you. I don't want this vision to be

mine and mine alone. I want many to have an opportunity to help. Be it

committed Prayer, sharing of ideas, giving professional guidance, or

financially supporting this cause. However you choose to participate, I know

God will bless your efforts & bless this ministry.

Lessons I've Learned-

With trails come opportunities to grow in faith and character. My life has

been one challenge after another, but it has also been one glimpse after

another, of God and His Greatness. Even though I wouldn't wish some of my

struggles on anyone, there are things I have learned from them. In addition

to God's love, my family and friends have played a major part in who I am

today. Their encouragement and support has helped me endure. It's so easy to

take these people for granted, but when they are one of the few things you

have to hold onto, you realize just how much you need them.

Never stop praying! When things look bad, look up; but do it while kneeling

on your knees. God isn't some far off man in the sky. He's just a whisper

away. If you've asked Jesus to be your Savior, He lives in you, is part of

you, feels what you feel, and goes through what you go through. Share with

Him your fears, needs, and hopes. When I think back to those lonely nights I

spent in the dark, I know that God was there with me. I know He heard my

every whisper and dried my every tear.

Never lose faith! When things get tough you've gotta get tougher. If we keep

our eyes on Jesus, we will find the peace, courage, strength, and

perseverance we need. Set your mind on victory. In Mark 5:36 Jesus was about

to raise a girl from her permanent " sleep " . Her father feared she was dead

and people throughout the whole town were talking about it. Jesus told the

girl's father, " don't listen to them, trust me " . There are many people in

this world that will try telling you that your faith is nothing, that it

can't do anything for you. Sometimes we even try to convenience ourselves

that our faith is useless, but like Jesus said, TRUST ME.

My motto is: If you are Willing…God is Able. There are no limits on what God

can do through those who are willing to be His instruments. Sometimes I

wonder why He's picked me to be a living testimony. But the reason isn't

important. What's important is that He loves me and has chosen me. Now I must

be willing to share with the world what He's done in my life. God wants to

use you! Be open to His plan for you and willing to live it out.

" Live in such away that those who know you, but don't know God,

will come to know God because of you. "

Written By: Angel Rhiannon Dykes

Copyright ©2001

**Do not pass this on without permission from Angel Dykes**

AngelDykes@...