Guest guest Posted February 1, 2008 Report Share Posted February 1, 2008 Hi Rhonda, I think it's too challenging for someone to take on a new friend who is sick. It would require a lot of effort and empathy. Most people want friends who have energy to do things... people who leave a slip stream of positive energy they can ride along on. I try to be upbeat when interacting with people, and always have a smile etc. But people don't realise that it takes a lot of energy to show the best side of me, for even a little while. When i go home, i flop down on the bed and am exhausted. I've just got to a point in life where i don't want to socialise any more. It's too much like hard work. Sure you can invite someone around for a cuppa or make an effort in different ways, but to me it's like putting my lottery ticket in each week... the chances of winning are slim and i feel disappointment after disappointment to realise that nobody is interested in being my friend. Maybe i should be more positive. Or maybe i should just come to terms with my reclusive life.... it's not so bad after all. The trouble is tho, when you live in isolation from others, you become sort of empty... there is some sort of inner drive to want to reach out to the rest of the world. A survival instinct i suppose. Life would be so much easier if we didn't need people. Just my useless thoughts for the day Best, leonie rheumatic Re: Depression in Chronic Illnesses! The lesson I've learned the hard way is when people don't listen, don't believe, don't support me with this illness, our relationship is jeopardized. Scleroderma is not just testing me, it's testing my family & friends, and only a handful are passing the test. I recently was telling a long-term friend how expensive Minocin and my supplements are. He replied that I should take the generic, there's no difference. He quickly refuted me with 'science' when I tried to explain, ending it with a shameful " Well, it's your choice " . Later in the conversation I was telling him how I've felt so lost since I became sick. He said I should just 'laugh it off', and that I'm starting to sound like his grandmother. I felt totally unheard, and said I had to get off the phone to work on finding cheaper ways to get meds. He replied that if he were me, he would just give up & die because that's his life philosophy, to let nature take its course. I never would have guessed how insensitive people can be until my dx. A true friend with good communication skills would have asked me more questions, let me talk it out and let me know that he really hears me. Would have offered on-point support, helped me brainstorm solutions, just been on my side. If he was uncomfortable with my 'negative' feelings, they would have passed naturally had he taken a helpful role, instead of throwing out his surface level advice. Since my dx I've lost so many relationships over insensitivities. Our entire culture seems to be needing lessons in empathy and communication & especially listening skills. Since everyone in these forums is in the same boat, that's the one thing I feel we can count on one another for, shared understanding. These forums keep me functioning emotionally. These forums are an essential component to my physical and emotional health. I don't post often, but I read every post, and every post makes me more knowledgable, and stronger. I feel somehow bonded with you all in this magical electronic world. What the heck did people like us do before this electronic medium? Hi lynne > > > > > > > > As you know my Dr. prscribed Medrol 2 mg 4 days a week > > > > to lower my inflammation. my ESR is high 120. > > > > I thought it is not a bad idea because i read high > > > > inflammtion doesn't allow minocin to penetrate cells. > > > > anyway last nightI took my first medrol and I got up > > > > with less pain and less stiffness. My hands are no > > > > puffy right now. wow I didn't know a low dose of > > > > steroid can make a big difference. I don't like to > > > > take steroid because of side effects. my Dr. also > > > > doesn't like it. I am going to take it only 3 days a > > > > week. I hope it helps me to put on some weight. > > > > what do you think? > > > > By the way you do lots of work. I couldn't do such > > > > amonth of work even when I was healthy. like you I > > > > always followed a healthy diet, did excersize. no > > > > smoking and drinking but I was not a happy person. > > > > I didn't realize the most important thing is my > > > > health. > > > > > > > > enjoy the weekend > > > > > > > > soheila > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > > > > Find them fast with Search. > > > http://tools.search./newsearch/category.php? > > > category=shopping > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with > > > Search. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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