RE: Warning: Rant enclosed

January 30, 2001

This is a really difficult one. When I worked we had a lot of drug addicts

coming to us for methadone and I've seen this situation a number of times.

One girl had a baby about the time I had DD2. This girl's baby was born

addicted and then died at 10 weeks, alone and hungry in a flat, supposedly a

cot death. She had also lost a couple of other babies in similar

circumstances but had a 5 yr old boy.

The handbook for drug addicts (yes, there is such a thing) at that time

stated quite clearly that although it was preferable, no harm would come to

the baby by the mum taking drugs while pg because it could be weaned off its

own drug addiction after it was born. (That involved a nurse having to

inject heroin into a tiny baby every day, or leaving it to go cold turkey.)

How can addicts even begin to make a decision when given that sort of

information? Its totally at odds with other mums being told to check with a

dr or mw before taking even a headache pill.

Yet I discovered that drug addicts are humans too and some of them I grew

quite fond of. They are their own worst enemies but they are also victims.

Their backgrounds can be tragic. One girl with four children could not have

possibly managed without the help of her wonderful mother. But at the same

time, her own father was on the streets peddling prescription drugs!

Eventually this young woman was left a widow when her husband was discovered

dead of a heroin overdose on the toilets of the health centre.

There are so many more awful stories, it pains me to think of such sad lives

and that the chances are those babies will one day grow up to live the same

agonies all over again. I wish I had an answer.

Lesley

---------------------------------

From: k.2.thorn@

I have just found out that my mums next-door neighbour has just become a

grandma again - she currently looks after the other grandson too.

Unfortunately, the little boy is currently in intensive care because his

mum

didn't stop taking drugs throughout the pregnancy

January 31, 2001

>Be thankful that the grandmother is being allowed to raise the children -

>unfortunately all too often the politically correct lobby bend over

>backwards to ensure that such children are kept with mothers even though

>they are hopelessly inadequate - in a former life I was a family lawyer and

>one of my most recent saddest cases was where a 16 year old mother regained

>residence of her 18 month old child because she was " at home all day " as

>opposed to this little girl being looked after by a combination of her 18

>year old father and 42 year old grandmother (registered childminder). This

>child has been hospitalised countless times since birth with breathing

>problems and mother still persists in smoking in her presence. When we

>raised this at a case conference we were told by a HV " 80% of my clients

>with small children smoke " - oh so that makes it all right then does

>it?!?!?!?

>

>Here endeth my rant for today (well at least until my Terrible Two gets home

>from nursery!!)

On the other hand, social workers et al are berated for being

'politically correct' in having concerns about foster parents or

prospective adopters being smokers. If the refusal to allow a mother

care of her own child was expressed as " because she smokes " there

would be an outcry.

I felt very edgy about some people I knew who fostered children with

Down's, with all the respiratory vulnerabilities that can imply. Both

foster parents were very heavy smokers - but was there something

better out there for these children?

I also used to find it 'interesting' when asked to support re-housing

applications on the grounds of a child's asthma when the parents were

smokers - but then again, the fact that their addiction was probably

a lot more significant a factor didn't necessarily rule out any

benefit to the child's health from moving.

I've also encountered some lovely mums with a history of drug use for

whom their child has been, well, redemptive, I can think of no better

word. It is an issue obviously because people with serious challenges

such as drug use (and all the lack of coping skills that IMHO that

can imply) may well require a lot of resources to help them be good

enough parents. I don't think the majority of people in serious life

difficulties actually *mean* to get pregnant, they only meant to have

sex! (Just look at how many unplanned pregnancies there are amongst

people who are not in such difficult circumstances)

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin

January 31, 2001