What are we doing?.....Hidiously long

[Guest guest]

Oh my God! What is going on here? Have we all forgotten where we came

from? Who among us got to be morbidly obese without overeating? Is

there anyone out there who really ate 1200 calories a day and got up to

300 lbs? I don't think so. Have we all forgotten the mentality behind

overeating? We didn't do it for no reason at all. Did all of that go

away with surgery? Hell NO! And just as some of us were better able to

control it and some weren't - that ratio still exists after surgery. We

are here for SUPPORT! And yes, although I have endless respect and

gratitude to EJ, Felicia and Rita - all of whom have written to me when

I have had problems, your words do carry a certain amount of judgment.

I will assume it wasn't intentional. You have all earned your success

and should be proud of yourselves. But, If you're not occasionally

eating chips or something equally lousy, then you're on a diet. Even

skinny people eat crap food every now and then. I haven't heard ANYONE

say they just sit and slurp up chips all day and can't figure out what's

wrong..

I am a serious slow loser. I do not exercise everyday. I generally

feel like crap for some reason or another. I exercise when I can. I do

not always eat the right stuff. I do make a serious effort on a daily

basis to get my Protein shakes do make me queasy - I drink them anyway,

with a little food to help get it down. I take my supplements. I don't

get as much water as I should, but I'm constantly trying to remember

it.

I am almost afraid to be over zealous about my diet routine.

I have been over zealous so many times it hurts to remember. I was a

yo-yo diet bad ass. (Most recently diet pill induced starvation - 600

calories a day plus 5+miles of race walking -daily without fail. Until I

COULD NOT physically do it any more due to injuries. And then of course

the regain...)

I am trying to take this on a daily basis and do my best. I have to

fight the eating demon with everything I've got - the urge to eat all

the time has never gone away. If I bring baked lays into the house, I

am doomed to end up eating every one of the sons of B* & ^%$#. I am 13

months post-op, 30 lbs over my goal and starting to realize that due to

" whatever " I may not reach it without getting overly zealous - and I'm

not going there again.

When I'm gut honest, I think it goes something like this: In general

I'm jealous that I'm not one of those people who lost without much

effort. I'm also jealous of those that lost more successfully with the

same amount of effort. I'm somewhat resentful that I'm one of those

people who believed the worlds bullsh* & ^ that dieting worked, because I

managed to screw my metabolism up so badly there may be no recovery for

it. I'm scared to death of regaining weight, and I feel powerless to

stop it if it happens. It always has. I am often confused about what

to do next. Take it as it is? Back to the extremes? Who knows.

Still dizzy and feeling like crap.