Pre-op frustration - Long

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I first want to say thank you to all of you for continuing to share

your experiences. I am pre-op with Dr. Herron at Mt. Sinai, surgery

date not contemplated yet. I am pretty much a lurker and don't post

alot because I am busy being a sponge, taking in all the information,

jotting down notes and questions for my next visit with Dr. Herron

and

the team at Mt. Sinai.

My problem is that I am beginning to feel extremely frustrated. Let

me just say that I started contemplating WLS and leisurely

researching

the various options about a year ago.

When I finally got really serious about this (and several pounds

later!) I started the process. I did the endoscopy, the psych eval,

the bloodwork and then moved on to my re-occuring bronchitus/asthma

problem.

On doctor's orders I did the sleep study and found out I have sleep

apnea. My pulmonary doctor wants me to undergo 6 weeks of C-Pap

treatment prior to surgery. When I resisted the treatment suggestion

because I am fairly sure I had sleep apnea for years and was annoyed

that this should interfere with my plans, he made it perfectly clear

that this was for my benefit as my health could be seriously

compromised if I did not address this before surgery. Thus, I made

the appt (next week) for the machine to become my new sleeping

companion.

However, being an immediate gratification seeker, I am less than

pleased. I know it is unreasonable to assume that since I (finally)

made the mental decision to have surgery, that everything else should

fall into place, but I feel like I have been waiting all my life for

the right tool to make long term weight loss and maintenance

possible.

I know my waiting won't be long in the big scheme of things (I might

even have to wait to accrue some more vacation/sick time from work

for

the recovery so it could be even 10-12 weeks and Dr. H's office

recently remarked that my insurance company [PHS] is the one they

" like to deal with the least " so perhaps it will be even longer).

Of course it does not help that I know I must still be gaining as I

go

through this process. I recently tried going on a nutritionist

guided low fat food plan for over two months and felt deprived,

chemically challenged by the food changes and later angry because I

did not lose one iota of pound after all the effort. So of course I

did the natural self destructive thing and through up my hands at a

food plan.

I went to the DS support groups at Mt. Sinai and met some really nice

people and that helps (~~~~~waving to [encyclopedia lady]) as

I

have a tendency to isolate myself (under the guise of independence

of

course).

I know I am wallowing at the moment but I just feel like yelling " I

am

ready to morph! To shed these layers I have been hiding under for 20

years and begin living! " I also know that this is all under my

control and I don't need to wait for surgery to begin living and I

should take more pro-active steps to prepare by being more positive

and do my positive things (like not throwing up my hands..etc, etc.).

Ok, I have now posted enough to make up for my weeks and weeks of

lurking, and even I want to slap some sense into me! I know many

people have waited a long time for surgery for a variety of reasons

so

I am not alone. Thanks for letting me purge my frustration. I will

try to look at the brighter side of hope for the new year.

Thanks all

Sondra

Pre-Op BPD/DS

Dr. Herron

BMI 56