Please Plase Help me explain this to my family

[Guest guest]

Dear Friends:

Hi .. I have been doing research on weight loss surgery for about 6 months now ...both I and my doctor and frankly even my insurance company think it's a goods option for me.  The problem is that I wanted to make my parents comfortable with the fact that I was going ahead with major surgery and that statistically with my history which includes over 24 weeks at duke university.  Working with numerous nutritionists...fat camp when I was a kid.. working With Dr. Louis Arrone .  Optifast, Pondimun, Ionimin, more weight watchers programs then I can even count..atkinsons , and the zone  and the fact that my father is near 500 lbs and has himself heart disease, Diabetes  and has lost all of his brothers (3) and his father and his mother  to heart disease. that I am at serious risk because I myself  have High Cholesterol, High Blood Pressure, Severe Sleep Apnea, and am Very close to being a diabetic within a few points. Am 33 years old and getting near 400 lbs .  My Mother called me today hysterical that I was considering this operation I tried to explain to her that there was more of a risk of my dying soon from not having the surgery then there is of me not having the surgery she's convinced that if I could just eat less and exercise this whole thing go away.  I tried to tell her that my father spent his whole life dieting with the best of intentions and is now close to death and is so fat they cant do heart surgery on him because he wont survive because of his size and my father falls asleep driving from sleep apnea and has to test his blood everyday and has known for years that he was going to die if he didn't lose weight and still didn't. and that I have a food problem that I cant make her understand and that I have been trying for 20 years myself and as much as I want to I have this thing with food and feeling full is associated with feeling safe or something but that I truly feel as though I'm at a turning point .. I feel my body turning in on itself and I feel it rapidly failing me and I don't feel like I could control it. And I know truthfully that most people who reach my weight may lose weight with diets but I think 95.3% gain it back plus some.  the end result is I want my family to sit in the consultation with My Doctor which will hopefully be Dr. Gagner should he accept me so they will be less scared ...I have made my decision but I would like to try and have them understand what my life will be like afterwards and what the reality's are and truthfully the reality's of what complications might arise.  Both directly and indirectly from the surgery understand I understand I have about a 1% chance of from the surgery itself which rises slightly in the first few months post op and that I could still have a heart attack or get hit by a truck

I'm Meeting my mother next week where I live and I would like to present her with all the information that I possibly can I want to hand her a stack like the phone book of both the good and the bad

Can everyone please help me and tell me which Internet sites I can download the most stories good and bad from and/or if you can tell me even which posts number on this group or any other I should particularly print out for her.

Also .. How long can I spend with the doctor and can I bring in My fiancee and my parents?  They will give me questions and I will ask them to him after I have asked my questions to Dr, Gagner if there is time.. They will not all be talking at once because I feel that this is a meeting between him and II ..but I would like them to listen to what happens and I intend to ask him a lot of questions relating to what there concerns are and I know he probably has a pat speech he makes when he meets with new people that includes a lot of this.

Would having them there be counterproductive?  Would you do it?  Will he have ample time to explain exactly what the operation is .. I'm thinking of having an open BPDS by the way but I understand he performs many operations and will look to him towards guidance as to which one he believes is right for me.

Would you please tell my your stories and where to find them on the internet ..rtell me what you would print if you were in my place I want them to have enough to read for a year exact URL's please . I hate to be so pushy but without the support of my family or Fiancee I'm afraid to go ahead and I think my life literally depends on it. Feel free to write me back personally if you would like or call . Or if any of you would be willing to speak to her even and tell her your story please let me know I'm having a hard enough time facing my mortality I don't want to also do battle with my family as well ... There convinced if I would read the Zone I wouldn't be hungrey..I told her in six months someone will come out with an article about how unhealthy it is probably.

Any help would be Soooo Appreciated .. It's a pleasure to be here you are all my inspiration.

Mark Blei