Re: Now: problems with the spouse. How working on self ripples into marriage. HELP!

[Guest guest]

My husband and I are pretty tuned into each others love style these days. If one

of us is acting off, that usually clues to other one in to pay more attention or

to give a hug.

You know the best part? When you are getting reassured you are loved via your

love style, your need for validation actually goes down. You aren't 'starving'

anymore, and can start relaxing about your relationship being intact.

This is so important for KOs: we need to feel all the safe, emotional stability

we can in our own homes.

>

> Yeah, I had heard of that book and actually brought up the " love languages "

> with him a few days ago. He is most definitely quality time and words of

> appreciation! I am DEFINITELY touch and quality time!His idea of being

romantic

> is sitting on opposite sides of the couch and watching a movie haha he just

> wants to physically be with me. I want to be in his arms all snuggled up!

> Sometimes he is just not in the mood to be touched at all.  We had a heart to

> heart about it the other day...I started crying and told him sometimes I dont

> think he thinks I am beautiful since he doesn't initiate touch or sometimes

> would push me away. He genuinely felt sorry and said that he thinks I am very

> beautiful and I  told him that I need him to show me that. He has started to

be

> more affectionate with me since we talked. It is hard for me to separate him

not

> being affectionate with the idea that he is not attracted to me. I feel so

> vulnerable sometimes about this insecurity.

>

> I agree about the nada comment...no matter how hard I have tried to speak love

> in her love language it just never seems to work

>